No newer images
more by annymaniac
No older images
Should the groom make initiative or the best man?
more in Etiquette
BRIDES!! are you sleeping without your groom the night before your wedding?
Beautiful MOB/MOG dresses
more in Boards
How to make FH like his ring?

Someone stole my ideas

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    annymaniac    April 25, 2012   Bronx

    I confided in a close friend all of my ideas down from the type of gown, to the theme even the table arrangements. I assumed since we both had different tastes and ideas that this wouldn't be an issue. Matter of fact...didn't cross my mind. It turns out she's getting married before me and although I'm trying to be a good friend, I am seriously pissed that she went from wanting her wedding one way to actually doing EVERYTHING I wanted. Reason it's upsetting is because for so long I've dreamt about this day. It hurts to see them all taken by a friend without even asking you first. If she had asked my opinion or asked if she could use this idea or that. Fine, no prob. But she takes it, and tries to show off and make it seem like it's her own ideas. Now because of her I have to change my dream wedding and come up with other ideas!WTF?!

     
    2.
    1,484 posts
    Bumble bee
    arenyth    May 14, 2011   planning in CA, wedding in NJ

    I don't see why you need to come up with other ideas. Are you having all the same people at both of your weddings? Is she using the same color scheme? No one is going to notice if an idea has been used twice. She could have asked, but honestly with all the wedding blogs out there she could have seen a certain inspiration picture that she loved and made her have to have it. Nothing we are doing is really original in our weddings, who cares if people want to do something similar?

     
    3.
    Member
    8,947 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    bells    June 26, 2011  

    i know how you feel, i hate when you confide in someone and then they totally try and claim your idea as theres BUT you can still do it your way without the two weddings being identical, you dont have to change your dream wedding, just stop confiding in her, she may very likely change her mind and lose interest in your ideas and even if she doesnt,  yours can still stand out from hers. like the previous poster said none of us are 100% original, our ideas are a composite of other weddings we have seen before

     
    4.
    Member
    4,207 posts
    Honey bee
    Zinzerena    April 14, 2012   Virginia

    I second the idea of not confiding in this person.  Also, there's plenty of things you can do that will make YOUR wedding special and still keep the ideas you've dreamed of. 

    Speaking from my experience, the people who I know that have done this are very uncreative and really don't have an original bone in their body.  It sucks and it pisses you off, but, unfortunately, that's life and you learn to not confide in these people. 

    Orrrrr, if you do... *evil grin*  tell them the exact OPPOSITE of what you're doing.  You want silver, tell them orange.  You want red, tell them fushia.  See what happens if you mention that you "changed your mind" about something because it's "tacky (or whatever)" and then mention something completely different.  My bet is, your friend will change hers. ;)  Keep doing that all throughout your wedding.  If she shows up and wants to confront you, just smile and say "oh, I changed my mind.  Sorry, I thought I told you?" 

    I know, I'm the devil's advocate.  just make sure you don't post the "real" details where she can see or that it'll get back to her. :) 

    sorry you've gotta deal with this!

     
    5.
    Member
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    baileysbride2be    May 5, 2012   Marengo, IL

    I love Ryna's idea! I might just steal that if I am ever in that position, haha!!

    You may get some people who think it is petty but I think Ryna's advice is good. How aweful for someone to do that to you! I have thought up everything for my wedding myself. Theme, colors, DIY EVERYTHING! If someone I was close to stole my ideas... I dont even know. I would be devestated! Completely.

     
    6.
    Member
    8,947 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    bells    June 26, 2011  

    haha me too!.. that is pure evil genuis.. perfect for uncreative brides who try to steal ideas from others and then duplicate it exactly

     
    7.
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    Circus Peanut    October 9, 2010  

    Hmm... it's hard to comment without knowing what type of stuff you're talking about. If the ideas she stole are "I'm doing a rustic outdoor wedding at a winery with a fall colors theme," well, sure, you could both easily do that and put your own unique stamp on it. If it's super-specific stuff like an unusual idea for a hand-made favor, then yes, it might lose something if she does it first (assuming similar people are going to both.) Can you share any more info? 

     
    8.
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    KTseamans    October 10, 2010   New York

    Its cruel she did that , To a creative person its like steeling ur soul ,, sorry

     
    9.
    Member
    887 posts
    Busy bee
    babebabe06    June 11, 2011   las cruces nm

    i hear where you are coming from but ya if you are having different people i would buy all of her stuff save the money and then take an amazing honeymoon that she would be jealous of!!!!

     
    10.
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    pat291    July 17, 2011   canada

    she is no friend, sneaky if u asked me.

     
    11.
    Member
    1,126 posts
    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    Sounds bizarre to me, how sad for her she has none of her own ideas. Given it's 18 months until your wedding I think you definitely have time to do Ryna's idea - and, some of your own ideas might actually change in that time. I know what I had planned before we got engaged was completely different to what we ended up with at the end, and this happens to a lot of people. So right now although I know it's hard, I'd just feel pity for her and not worry about it too much!

     
    12.
    Member
    4,207 posts
    Honey bee
    Zinzerena    April 14, 2012   Virginia

    @baileysbride2be: & @bells:, I am glad to be of service! lol.  playing the devil's advocate is a specialty of mine ;)  it's also something my FI does (he's older than me, so he's been doing it longer, lol).

    I've also had people steal my ideas (exactly) as well as my FI's idea (an acquantince -we'll call him Jon- "made" a sapphire ring that is ALMOST exactly like the one I wear.  change my stone to a light blue shapphire and round, turn it 90 degrees, and you've got a near identical ring.  jon and jon's FI have seen my ring in person, btw. now, add to it my FI mentioned to another friend - and Jon was around - that he was going to have a ring made for me.  Jon "stole" the idea. good thing my FI didn't give the accurate details of the ring my fi is going to give me!!!)

    so, it could be worse.  you could have someone like Jon who stole something like your engagement ring (fortuntely, my ring is going to have onyx, a diamond, as well as sapphires on it, so :P to Jon). 

    give your thief all the wrong information (and to make it even more fun, make it stuff that will clash horribly with what she's already doing, hehehehehehe) and you'll be able to sit there, smugly, knowing that when she comes to yours (if you invite her) she'll be shocked and outraged at your deception.  and the fact that if she does the things that "clash", weeellllll..... all the better, don't cha think?

    am I evil? oh, yes.  especially to thieves.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    rivierabridal 6
    texasbee 3
    MrsOliveBird 2
    LauraFaye4411 2
    cbeyelia 2
    julies1949 1
    Potatoes 1
    Ree723 1
    Regina Phalange 1
    KatNYC2011 1

    Etiquette

    User Posts Today
    LauraFaye4411 1
    More