Post # 1
We were a bit worried when we sent out our invitations originally that we’d have too many people. I was assuming all my close friends would come, even though no one lives near us, and hoping that some friends and family who I haven’t seen in a while but still feel close to would also make it. FI has lots of friends so I tried to keep the list to a minimum and we figured on about 100 people. It turns out a lot of my friends can’t come, mostly for legitimate reasons like being in the middle of moving, getting new jobs, previously planned trips out of the country, a cousin getting married. Now that most of the rsvp’s are in it seems that I’ll have around 20 guests and FI will have around 40 plus a bunch of kids. Basically, his best friends are all coming and they’re going camping and out for drinks, and I just have a couple of close friends coming. My parents are paying for the majority and I’m pretty much doing all the planning since I have no close friends or family where I live (including FI who’s long distance). Anyway, several minor things happened today that pretty much made all the work planning the wedding feel like a waste if only 20 of my friends are coming. The minor things aren’t that important but I had this picture of hanging out with all my friends before the wedding, having a lot of fun, then getting married and having a great party. And now it all kind of seems flat and like it’s not really going to be much fun, just a lot of stress and a lot of work. Anyone else go through this? I need someone to tell me it’s going to be okay. With less than 6 weeks to go I feel depressed about the whole thing except the actual being married part. I tried to tell FI and my parents about all this, but I think they don’t get it. After all, FI’s friends are coming (though he was sympathetic) and my mom is the “that’s life, get over it” type.
Post # 3
I am sure that your wedding will be absolutely wonderful with the friends and family that will be attending!!! And you get to marry your FI in only 6 weeks!!! Yay!! 🙂 you will be having such a wonderful wedding you won’t notice who is not there, because you will be happy with your loved ones who will be there!
Post # 4
It’s going to be ok 🙂 My DH was disappointed at a bunch of “no” RSVPs from people he thought were his friends, some of them didn’t even have good excuses. It does hurt, I know. But you know what? The most important people where there, and we still had a great day. You don’t even think about those people on the day, you are too busy getting married and having a party. You have 20 friends coming! That’s more than enough to pack the dance floor 🙂
Post # 5
I was feeling kinda depressed at 6 weeks out, too. I was at the stage where most but not all RSVP’s were in, several projects had yet to be done, and it seemed like the wedding planning was becoming a chore in general. Now at 3 weeks out, lots of stuff is starting to fall in place, and the initial disappointment at getting some “no” RSVP’s has worn off, and I’m just excited for the big day!
Look at who you do have coming, instead of focusing on who can’t make it. Just think how great it will be to have those people in attendance. Can you get together with those who are coming on the week of the wedding?
I know your wedding is going to turn out wonderfully! Live for the moment and don’t have any regrets!
Post # 6
My closest friends can’t come- they work seasonal jobs out west :/ It will be okay, I am sure it will still be special.
Post # 7
I’m sorry, that’s gotta be hard. I would say focus on you and your future hubby and your family. You are blessed!! And you are going to be so happy that day with your husband I am sure it will be more than ok 🙂 Don’t worry.
Post # 8
I feel your pain! FI has a lot more people coming (not just friends but also family) and at first I was down about it. But then I remembered that the people that are for “him” are not just for him they are there for both of us! They are there to support us, encourage us, celebrate with us and get to know us better! It is a symbol of the joining of two lives and it really doesnt matter who has more people because you will have a great time with EVERYONE! The wedding is 5 weeks away and I just cant wait for it to be here!!
Post # 9
Sweetie, I’m in the same boat, but it will be awesome because you’re marrying your FI. Really, that’s all that matters. It’ll be fantastic and intimate, so don’t stress, enjoy yourself!
Post # 10
My friend had a very “out of the way” wedding in Montana. A lot of people couldn’t make it. From what I can tell from their beaming faces in Facebook pics- they were SOOOOOO happy. It looked like a great time.
Post # 11
We had this happen. So many people declined, close friends, family, etc. we were absolutely shocked. People we were ‘sure’ were coming. When the wedding got closer, I started to get depressed about it – it was really upsetting, our wedding was a LOT smaller than we planned and so many close people were not comign. But the wedding of course was beyond amazing and special to us. The people who DO come mean so much and share their love, and it turns out the people who didn’t make it sent love in some way, so it counted for us.
Post # 12
Think of it this way – with you having only a few close friends coming, you’ll get to spend some fantastic quality time with each of them. Your FI may not even have a chance to talk to all of his guests, much less connect with them. Quality . . . not quantity!
Post # 13
Think of all the new friends that will be there. 🙂
Seriously, none of my friends/family are coming either. I don’t even have any bridesmaids. Two of Fi’s friends wives are helping me plan. My family spends a considerable amount of time whining that my location is “too far” (it’s about an hour and a half from their houses). I plan to just enjoy the people who are there and remember this when my friends/familys events come up…
Post # 14
This has happened to me too. I had been thinking we might have 50-60 people at our wedding, but now it looks like it’s going to be more like 30-40. For me, the suckage isn’t that I’ll have a small wedding…that’s not a huge deal. It’s more of an issue where it very feels very personal when a close friend RSVPs “no”. I realize all weddings require sacrifices of money/time/planning, but at the end of the day I genuinely feel that people either chose to make your wedding a priority, or they don’t. And their choice, to some extent, reveals how much they value you as a person.
Post # 15
Don’t worry, your wedding will be fabulous! The most important people will be there and less people doesn’t necessariliy mean less fun. At least your friends have legitimate reasons. I’m in the same boat and it appears only my family from my side will be in attendance 🙂 Granted I’m having a destination wedding, but when I initially told them and asked them to be bridesmaids I think they were humoring me thinking it wasn’t going to happen. Now that they realize it is going to happen, jealousy has reared it’s ugly head and I won’t go into detail about the gossip and backstabbing I’ve been enduring. I let it get me down for a few weeks, but I figured I’m still marrying the man I love with or without them and the wedding will still be a celebration! Try to find the bright side and stay focused on that. You will have a beautiful and memorable wedding 🙂
Post # 16
This happened to me too. We got married in my home state, and only our wedding party and two friends could come. Our close college friends couldn’t come. The girl who introduced us couldn’t come. My best sorority sister couldn’t come. It seemed like every day I found out more and more people couldn’t come, and I was soooo angry with them for not caring about my wedding.
But, guess what– I didn’t even notice they were missing. Having my bridesmaids, groomsmen, husband and family there was more than enough, even though I didn’t think it would be. We had a total of 55 guests (invited 120), and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I’m sure you’ll be fine and your wedding will be amazing!!!