Weddingbee boards

Hey ladies! So, I'll be 7.5 weeks preggo at Christmas time, and we're looking forward to telling our families then. We know it's still early but I'm normally a big wine drinker, especially on the holidays, so they are going to know anyway if we don't tell them.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone's reactions EXCEPT my one sister. Let me just tell you, I have two sisters who both have kids already and all I ever hear about is how I don't know SH*T about ANYTHING because I don't have kids yet, blah, blah blah. If I hear one more time from either of them "You'll understand when you have kids" I swear I'm going to pull all my hair out. The one sister is actually awesome and just likes to tease (she's the ONE person I've told and totally there to support me already), but the other one is all out just MEAN. I'm not looking forward to her peanut gallery comments when we share the news AT ALL. I can see them along the lines of "you'll never be able to handle having a kid."

In fact, the biggest fight we ever got into was last May, and we took her out to celebrate her birthday and she spent the entire night lecturing me on not having kids, that she wishes she had waited and I'm so lucky that I'm "single" - she really said SINGLE! I was married for two years already at that point! Not to mention we had already been trying for a baby since February, not that she knew. By the end of the night, I calmly said to her, "you need to stop telling me to never have kids..." That's all it took, she LOST IT, kicked me out of her house, then as I was leaving chased me down the driveway and started HITTING me! Her husband and my other sister finally came out and broke it up, but I've had difficulty even SPEAKING to her since then.

Ugh, I just wish I could never tell her at all. This is supposed to be a happy time, not ANOTHER opportunity for her to criticize me :( Just curious if anyone was going through something similar and if they planned to tell that person when they tell the rest of their family?

@Katy: That sucks that your dad is such a cranky pants! Good call on having your mom break the news - we don't need that stress right now for sure. Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid my sister being in the room when I tell my family because I'm only home for one night on Christmas Eve, and she'll be there the whole time :( Otherwise, I'd totally be okay with her finding out through the grapevine!

@Soladylike: Yeah, I'm going to TRY to ignore her - it's how I've gotten through most of my life to be honest. It's just really difficult when she's harping on something so personal. The good news is my husband will be there, and she is usually slightly better behaved around him. My husband doesn't tolerate people treating me like dirt - even if they are my sister. Do you think I should let him know that I'm expecting these types of comments from her so he knows when to step in if necessary?

To be honest...if I was in that situation, I'd not tell her anything until the bumb a very visible and she notices herself. 

The last thing you need during this delicate time of your pregnancy is a crazy sister making things difficult for you.

@amelieisme: Aww, well I hope you get the reaction you want from your mom - I'm sure even if she is a little shocked at first she'll get through it quickly and move into being excited about being a grandma :)

That's a good idea about setting up another alliance. The only one who knows right now is my other sister who has been supporting me, so I bet if I tell her she can help keep the bad sister in check. They are very close to eachother, so I think she would be super helpful in that situation - thanks for the great advice!

@FutureMrsCassar:  Unfortunately, she is going to be there when I tell the rest of my family regardless. I don't even live in the same state as my family anymore, so when I see them on Xmas Eve will be my only chance to tell them in person.

@LAGS: Thank you! I will try to focus on the people who I know are going to be happy for us :) So weird having to share your thunder with an estranged cousin - I wouldn't want that either!

I agree with everyone else.  Sounds like a crazy situation and I'm so sorry you have to deal with it.  I just wanted to say that with Baby #1 I was scared to tell people because we hadn't even been married a year AND my husband was unemployed.  We were just gambling that he would have a job before I had the baby (and we would have been ok financially anyway).  With Baby #2, I'm a little scared now as our oldest isn't quite a year.  I guess I just think people judge, whether they say it to your face or not.  Stupid, I know.  Anyway, I feel a tiny bit of your pain and wish you luck!

My advice to you is just not to engage with her.  Tell everyone the news and then when she says something awful just blow her off.  If she says anything just be like ooookay and moce on.  Don't let her stupid sourpuss attitude bring you down. This is a wonderful time in your life and you deserve to be excited and enjoy it.