- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
Ok, so I’ll start with a bit of background info.
My FI and I met in the UK (I’m british he’s Australian) he was travelling Europe and used the UK as a base. Before we got together he was Deputy Manager of a busy nightclub, he was a bit of a tart before he met me and was dating lots of different girls. One girl used to work at the bar he managed and was still friendly with his boss and other staff so they all used to hang out alot together. They ended up going on a date and he got completely wasted but says he snogged her, nothing else happened. My FI has always been very honest with me and has told me truthfully who he has and hasn’t been intimate with, so I know I can believe him 100%. well after their unsuccessful date she started dating his best friend who also worked at the nightclub, they dated for about a month and then it fizzled out, but she continued to socialise with everyone at the club.
So, roll on six months and FI and I start dating and I’m introduced to her, she’s a really sweet girl. We used to talk about FI best friend who she was still in love with but had started seeing another girl (who also waorked at the club, hmm it all sound a bit incestuous), so we were frinds but not overly close and I probably only met her about 8-10 times.
My FI and I have now moved back to Australia together and have been here for 11months. About Nov time this girl contacted me vis facebook to say she was coming to Australia for a year on her own to look for work and we should meet up. I offered for her to come to ours for a short while. I didn’t hear anything and then she got in touch again after xmas to say she would like to come and stay with us for new years. She had been living with a friend for 6 weeks in a different state (The friend is australian but had also been travelling in the UK and they had met through the pub)
So, she came to stay with us two days before new years and we all celebrated on a friends boat, FI and I have treated her to meals out, drinks, aswell as cooking her evening meals etc. We are quite happy to help her out like this as she hasn’t come over with much money and is struggling to find work on her Visa.
Well, gradually I’ve been noticing her doing little things that I’m not comfortable with. Some examples being; talking with sexual innuendo ex on Sat night we took her to a friends BBQ and FI was cutting lemons for our Coronas, she said ‘Oh, that a big one, push it in harder, I don’t think its going to fit’ when he was putting the lime in her bottle, walking around the house in a bikini (she has a great body, personally if FI’s friends come over when I’m in the house in my Bikini, I will go and put a summer dress on, but maybe thats just me being conservative), she was sat on his lap at the BBQ on sat night when she was drunk and FI kept making excuses to get up and go get something, but she would climb back up when he got back, FI told me yesterday that she had been touching his bum at the BBQ! We spend the night at our friends place and she came in to our room in the morning and was chatting then she said ‘i think I may lay down and lay down next to FI on the bed with me on the other side (This was on top of the covers), if FI is laying on the sofa, she will sit on the same sofa on the edge of the cushions rather than choose another seat, she’s asked him if he would fancy her is she had bigger breasts (like me), I hard her talking to him when I was in the bath one night, saying that she might climb in with me (WTF?), I could go on and on but these are the only concrete things that I can remember. Lots of things are just the way she talks to him, always very flirty and the way she looks at him (But maybe this is me over-reacting being paranoid and looking too much in to it?)
She’s been with us for 2 weeks now and I have no idea how long she plans on staying, I am getting more and more Peed with her the more this goes on. FI has also been worried about it and is not comfortable with the way it makes me feel. Please tel me what you think I should do, if I knew for def she was only staying for a few more days I would prob just stay schtum until she leaves, but I feel like she’s making me out to be a fool after how nice I’ve been with her, and belittling mine and FI’s relationship by thibnking that he hasn’t told be what she’s doing. Up until now FI has made a huge effort to be really sweet to me and makes a big show of cuddling and kissing me when she’s around.
I’d be happy for her to stay with us longer if this stopped and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable… she is also friends with FI’ brother who is single and lives alone and has a spare room, he works away alot, maybe we could speak to him and ask if he would mind her staying in the spare room whilst he’s away (they worked together at the same nightclub in the UK too) or a female friend that lives in our town, but has a live-in boyfriend. I don’t just want to kick her out.
I might add that she has recently been rejected by an ex that lives in Australia and she wanted to hook up with, she has text him suggesting they meet up and he has said he doesn’t want to. Maybe this has hurt her confidence and that’s why she is flirting with FI? Also, at the BBQ on sat she snogged a friend of ours who has a girlfriend, which she knew about, this makes me feel like she doesn’t really care if a guy is taken or not….
Please help! x