Something a little bit different – NO MOH/ BM, but here's the plan….

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@stephanie1989:  I think you have it planned out pretty well actually. If it were me, though, I would ask them if they really wanted to do those things rather than just tell them you will hold the ring, you will sign, etc.

I aslo don’t know why everyone is in the receiving line. It was just DH and I there becuase it was our family and friends. Do you plan on having everyone in the line?

Post # 4
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was so ready to love this (I love unconventional wedding attendant setups!), but it seems a bit complicated.

Some of these sound a little preferential to me, like the guy sitting at the head table might be seen as getting preferential treatment over the guy at the receiving line. The girl signing the liscense over the girl standing next to the bride, etc.

Plus, do BMs/GMs really stand with you at the receiving line? I feel like they’ve done their duty at that point and might like to take a break or speak with some other friends or family outside of the ceremony.

This really depends on your friendship dynamic with all of these people. All of them at the same time, not just as individuals. It could work if everyone’s friendly and they all communicates already. Otherwise it might be difficult to pull off.

You don’t need to have a best man or a maid of honor – those people are just there to stand up and support you and your marriage.

Post # 5
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not really a fan of this idea.  Holding the ring?  That doesn’t count for anything.  I think you should be standing with your parents in the receiving line.   I also don’t like head tables, so it just doesn’t work for me.  I also don’t want to hear 10 speeches/short toasts. For me, it sounds like you are just avoiding the decision of selecting one. 

ETA: Who will stand next to you in the photos?

Post # 6
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I think it seems a bit convoluted, maybe you are overthinking it? The one guy who sits at the head table during dinner seems like you are putting him above the others. My advice is no head table, or all the attendants there.

Post # 7
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

also for planning it can become diffucult….my bff is a bm in a wedding with no moh and no one stepped up to plan shower/bachelorette etc until she finally did it….then everyone got pissed bc who put her in charge

sometimes you need a clear leader


Post # 8
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@stephanie1989: If that feels right for you I think you should go ahead with your plans! In my case I had two bridesmaids, none of them being assigned as a MOH. First of all, we don’t really do that in Sweden, second – I would have felt weird choosing one over the other. So, they had a combined speech and the shortest one stood closest to me in church and took the bouquet. The taller one also served as toastmaster together with her boyfriend – so I don’t think ANYONE felt like they were excluded. It worked really well for us, hope it goes just as well for you!

Post # 9
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

While I like the intent/idea, I agree with PP that some of those duties seem…less awesome. Like, if I were the BM assigned “hold the ring” I would probably still think of the “closer” BM as the MOH. Maybe your friends are a million times more progressive than me, but that’s just what I’d be thinking. It’s the same as when somone has two MOH – at the end of the day, you still have to pick one person to stand next to you, so why not just call that person the MOH and be done with it.

Post # 10
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To me most of the tasks or positions seem a bit token,not an honor, as if you were just avoiding making a decision.

Post # 12
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly, I started reading your post and skipped when you started talking about all the attendants giving a speech… Is your dad giving a speech? Mom? His parents? Anyone else? That’s 30 minutes of toasting alone! I suggest they give a speech for you at the rehearsal dinner and leave it at that, no speeches for attendants at the wedding except for the parents. That would be fair. And as PPs said, no head table or all at the head table and you will still be dealing with who sits next to the Bride and Groom? I think you should just have a sweetheart table if you want to avoid that.


Post # 14
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@stephanie1989:  I think that’s a great idea..and you have it planned out well!! It ensures that there are no hurt feelings, because someone had more/less roles than someone else.

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