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Your engaged right?
Your getting married this year?
im struggling to understand why your upset.. but I hope you feel better soon!
I'm so sorry you're upset, and I hope you start feeling better soon, but I don't really understand either! You're engaged and getting married! Yay!! Can you explain anymore about why this is different??
Chin up, you are getting married this year and it will be fabulous. Feel better.
I can see where you're coming from. This is "your time" and you've had to share it with so many other people (maybe? that's what I would be feeling...). I think your engagement/wedding time is one of the only times in your life you get to be completely selfish, I have a friend who got engaged and is getting married in June, at first I thought "Ugh...there goes some of my time" (yes, I admit I said that, no I'm not generally like this!) but in my true nature of rationalizing everything I thought about the fact that she only has 6 months and is a pretty high-stress person so I'm going to do everything I can for her then enjoy my 6 months after her wedding is over. I think the biggest thing was the fact that she and her FI have been together less than half the time I've been with my man, I felt like I "deserved" it or something. I'm not trying to sound like a totally selfish b-word, just trying to let you know you're not alone in your hesitation!
Sorry I don't get why you're upset. Hope you feel better soon. Maybe you feel like she is stealing your thunder???
That's the problem I have no clue why I'm upset!
I am engaged and we are getting married in a couple of months. I have a great relationship with my FI so I don't know why I'm so upset so I definetely can't seem upset to anyone because they will think I am crazy.
I don't know if it's because I feel like my time has passed. I will never have that moment of being newly engaged and all that excitement again. Or that her being engaged will overpower the fact that we are getting married. FI's family didn't even acknowledge when we got engaged and his family ran to her house right away last night with champagne.
Or I'm just under so much stress I have lost my mind and gone crazy... def a possibility! 
I'm confused also. If you weren't engaged and getting married it would be more clear as to why you were upset. Are you sure you have absolutely no clue as to why you feel this way? Is there maybe a deeper seeded issue with this? Do you think maybe you are concerned that she will be stealing some of your limelight?
I think you're maybe just a little jealous? You feel like your thunder may be stolen?
I'm guessing the shot gun wedding didn't bother you because, well, of what it was. And when your bestie got engaged, it's a little different b/c you'r;e closer with her.
Do you have any weird feelings about your FI's new FBIL? Sometimes it's hard to be happy for people when you don't 'approve' or 'get' their relationship.
@ejs4y8- They have only been together for a couple of months, she quit her job to get a lower paying job so she could get a low income house in the best neighborhood (everyone else has to pay 550k for these townhouses) and her FI doesn't even have a full time job so her family gave him a ring to propose to her. Okay so I clearly have a little thing against this, but to each their own. But I have a beautiful ring and just bought a great starter home so it's not like she has anything that I don't.
Hmmmm, sounds like you might be jealous not necessarily of her or them, but of how easily things come to them. I have a situation like that. My FSIL and FBIL got married shortly after dating, had a house and a beautiful baby all while I was like, "hey, uh, can I have a ring please?". It was the WORST. I had been with FI for 4 years by then, and we were struggling. Could that be it?
Oh yeah, don't be jealous-a couple months and getting married? Good luck with that one is what I'd say...sounds like they're setting themselves up for problems. How can you quit your job to qualify for low income? That seems like it shouldn't happen that way. I hope she's happy staying home FOREVER. I get annoyed with people who manipulate the system, too. Maybe it's not jealous--maybe it's just being irritated with their, uh, unorthodox approach?
@jenniferespos- Maybe FI and I are busting our butts to have everything and we are doing it because we want to and we want to do things the honest way. I had to wait so long for FI to save and buy my ring and we saved for two years are will be house poor starting next month and her house is brand new and double the size and her mortgage is less than half of mine. Wow thanks for the revelation! Funny how you just have these feelings and you have no clue why until you discuss it.
@ejs4y8- Yes the annoy me so bad and we don't get along and see eye to eye. They don't like me and they think I am making my FI work way to hard, even though I make more money than he does. I def hate people who cheat the system and so does FI so we really don't have much of a relationship with his family. And the best part is FI's other sister lives 2 doors down in the same complex and is low income too. 30 house, 2 were up for low income and they are both in it. They all have graduate degrees from well known school. Ahhhh! And they have a nerve to talk sh*t about my house, I worked for it!
But I do have to add, that while they take advantage and get everything for free when I saw her ring last night a little part of me jumped for joy. I have a beautiful diamond and hers not so much. Not to sound catty but it's nice to know that she didn't get a ring for free that was better than mine.
Don't let them get to you! if they cheat the system, they'll be losers. Good things don't come to people like that. I'm sort of vindictive and would take great pleasure in watching them struggle after thinking they found the magic loophole. Some people like to cheat their way through life.
And seriously--how the hell can you get low income housing if you went and got a graduate degree and then quit. Of course if you don't work you have no damn income.
I'm annoyed FOR you.
I was the same way when my brother in law got engaged. i dont know why i was upset i felt like they were stealing our thunder and no one would care about our wedding. i completely understand you but i promise its gets better and you will start getting excited. i was so nervous she would ask me for help and then i would share my ideas and they would copy then. they werent suppose to get married for 2 years but they rushed it in less than 6 months. i was nervous she would choose my dress or even my colors or my BMs dress but I have offered my help as much as possible and let her know what i was having in my wedding and she respected that and our weddings will be completely different.
ejs4y8- You sound like my FI lol! They drive me crazy and just tells me wait till it's their turn. He just keeps saying we will be ahead in the long run and that we are honest people and we can lay our heads on our pillows at the end of the day and know we are doing the right thing. I didn't qualify for lower income the day I graduated college and I only have a bachelors! She quit her job to become a secretary. Thanks, it's good to know someone feel my pain hehe. Tell me again why I don't like my inlaws lol.
I echo @jenniferespos re: being jealous/frustrated that things come easily to your FSIL and I think that it's completely fair to feel that way, given the situation.
I think that it may also have to do with the fact (as you mentioned) that your FI's family seems more excited for her then they did for you and your FI. Again, I can totally see why you would feel hurt by that. It's weird how the immediate reactions of others to engagements seem to stick with you. I've had people say some lovely things...I've also had people say things that are weird. lol
Basically, I don't have any advice other then to say that I understand why you would feel hurt and I hope you feel better about it soon. Just remember that you and your FI are being responsible, busting your butts to have what you have, and are getting married (YEEE!). Nothing can take that away from you. :)
I don't blame you for the way you feel. Cheating the system = not cool, and I'm sure it will backfire on them in some way.
Regarding his family giving her more attention, remember that families are usually more excited about daughters getting married than sons, so this has nothing to do with you!
You girls definetely have a way of making me feel better! Who needs therapy when the have weddingbee!
Good point, GirlWithARing. I think my MIL was definitely WAY more psyched about my SIL's wedding than ours. She was SUPER laid back about our wedding.
Hey, no income=no nice ring, right? After all, if you're gonna pretend to be poor, you obviously can't have or afford very nice things now, can you? It might look funny if her ring was worth more than her house =]
Cheating the system like that!! Dang, at least you still have YOUR dignity!
And honestly I completely understand. I was so upset when I found out that my FI's brother was going to propose to his long-term girlfriend, a month after we became engaged. I wanted the attention, well at least for a little while. I didn't want any competition eiother, you know...on whose wedding was going to better.
Then I thought well I have been together with my FI for a shorter time than FI's brother and girlfriend. They have been together 3 years longer than us. So its okay. Now several months has gone by, no propsal yet. I have let it soak in, and I am at peace with it. I think when I found out at first, I was shocked!!! I was exstremly emotional and stressed with the planning, (like you said.)
One more thing...it could always be worse! I did read one article on here that stated a girl was upset that her FI's cousin just got engaged -and they are getting married on the same EXACT day as them! C'mon now! Thats just NOT RIGHT!
I can kind of understand. My brother and FI's sister are both in long term relationships. Well, my brother got engaged in February, and FI's sister will more than likely be getting engaged this weekend. I'm happy for all of them, and I wouldn't say I'm upset, I'd just say I'm a little..... annoyed. I guess I just feel like now neither side of the family will be as excited for our wedding, because there will be another one coming up soon anyways. I know thats incredibly selfish, which is why I would never say it in real life, so I can understand why you want to vent on here :) I can also understand why neither would want to come to our wedding not engaged and have to deal with all of the questions about when they're getting engaged... but another part of me is like really, you couldn't have just waited a few more months?
I can understand. & I also know the feeling of wishing you DIDN'T feel the way you do. But you just can't help it! I got engaged last august. I've been soo excited about planning and everything; but then like 2 or 3 other people I know also got engaged & there are two weddings before mine and one after mine; and for a while now i've just kinda been over it. I'm still excited but It also kinda makes you feel down about it. I think once the other two weddings are over and it's then the next one will be MINE I will be alot more excited!!! It's hard to explain but; o well. We're woman; sometimes we can't explain our emotions. Hang in there; it will get better :) and don't be too down on yourself. IT IS NORMAL!
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I can't say this out loud to anyone so at least I know I can type it an get it off my chest and the bees will understand.
I'm not sure if I am feeling emotions of being sad, angry, jealous, or just lost. So I get a call from FI last night while I was at work to tell me that he was heading of his sister's after work because she just got engaged! How exciting! Right?! Okay then why am I not excited for her. He asked me to come meet him and I cried the entire ride over there. I have no clue why I just made me so sad. I wouldn't talk to him when we got home and I just went right to sleep, I didn't want him to ask me what's the matter because I can't say well I'm upset that your sister got engaged.
Since FI and I have been engaged one of his other sisters got engaged and had a shot gun wedding and one of my best friends got engaged and is recently married. How come when they got engaged it didn't bother me. His sister was a different story because of her situtation and my best friend had been with the guy for 10yrs so I really wanted her to get engaged so she would be happy. So why is this different?
So why am I not happy for her? Has anyone gone through this?