- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014 - Garden
Hi my dear bees, this time I want to know your insight in a sensitive matter that has been bothering me since I was little.
I don’t know how to express the terms in english, but I’ll try my best to explain myself.
My parents divorced when I was 4. At age 8 or 9 my mom confessed to me that his ex husband was not my biological father, and introduced me to my real father. Neither of the 2 have been really present in my life.
Background of Situation 1:
My legal father, has always been a sad episode in my mom’s life, when they divorced we had to leave the house where we lived, because they split assets by 50%. Ever since they divorced, he refused to pay child support, and my mom took care of me by herself. With the divorce money, my mom got a new smaller house, years later she married again and gave birth to my sister. I can count the times I have seen my legal father with my two hands and maybe one foot. But some members of his family have showned appreciation through my life. My mom says that they do not know he’s not my real father.
Background of Situation 2:
My biological father has always tried to show economic support, but since he has a family of his own (with older, all married children) he has always kept me in the dark, I know 2 of my brothers, and one of them is a sweetheart and he calls on my birthday and stuff like that, the older one hates me. The middle sister I don’t think she knows me, but we look a like, so I’ve heard. Don’t need to say that his wife hates me.
Now that I am engaged to the love of my life, one of my biggest fears is becoming real: who am I going to walk down the aisle with? Who is going to dance “My Girl” with me? Should I put my parents names on the invitations? Who should I invite to my wedding?
Seems like a shallow subject, but it really makes me anxious, my fiance talked to me about this situation and told me that we don’t need to do any of that stuff, we can print invitations without our parents names, no first dance with the parents and that his dad would be happy to walk me down the aisle.
But I don’t want to neglect my in laws, they’re wonderful persons, the love me very much and they really deserve that special place in our wedding, neither I want to give explanations to anyone, nor I want to make my mom feel miserable.
I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is almost 90 and he is sick, I will be very blessed if he make it to our wedding next year. This issue is the only dark cloud on my parade, I know it must have an easy solution, I just don’t see it. Help