Post # 1
but what do you think your husband and/or family would do in this situation??
After reading the Washington post article, it made me remember a conversation the hubs and I had a while ago. We were watching a show (maybe a movie) where a woman was giving birth and something horrible happened where the husband had to choose between his wife and child, only one could live. So the husband chose the child because he knew that is what his wife would want. Hubs looked at me and said, “if I was ever in this situation, I would choose you without a doubt. I can have another child, but I can never replace you.”
At first, I was like awww so sweet, then I was like wait, you can’t replace a child??? But the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with him. We don’t plan on having children, but if it happened there are things in my history that would make me a high risk for pregnancy and delivery. So it might be a little more real for us than others. While its horrible to have to choose between your spouse and child, what do you think you would do?? Have you discussed this with your husband, and if not, do you think you will now? I know the husband in the article didn’t have a choice, and I hope this doesn’t happen to anyone, but it just makes you think…
Post # 3
i would want fi to choose the child over me. not sure how i would feel if the situation were somehow reversed though..
Post # 4
That was such a sad article. it sounds like the husband and baby will have a great support team at least.
My husband and I have talked about it and he said that without a doubt, he would choose me everytime. We talked about it because there was a story on our local news a few months back about how a family’s car got swept away in a flood current and the father was able to get out and only had time to save his wife or his child. And if I remember correctly, he saved his wife.
My heart breaks for anyone ever put in that situation. What a horrible outcome no matter who you choose.
Post # 5
My DH has also said that in this situation he would choose me 🙂 Very sweet…but let’ts hope he never has to make that choice.
Post # 6
It’s an awful awful situation. While this is terrible, I hope they would save me as the mother. More children can follow later. I feel like a bad person for thinking that way.
Post # 7
DH and I had this conversation the other night–we agreed that if it came down to the spouse or the child, we would both choose each other. It probably has something to do with the fact that neither of us wants children, though…
Post # 8
FI said he would choose me. You can get pregnant again or adopt.
Post # 9
Although I hope he’d never have to make that choice, DH would chose me (and I’d want him to save me over my newly born child).
DH and I have a relationship that built up over years where as a newly born child really doesn’t have that strong of a relationship. Yes – the new parents bond with the child while its in the womb but that isn’t the same as a relationship built up over years and years. As terrible as it would be to lose a child shortly after birth, DH and I would be able to have more children (not that necessarily replace the other child but we’d still be able to be parents and love and raise a child).
I feel for people who have to make that call but I really can’t see the side of choosing the child over the mother.
Post # 10
He better choose me or I’ll haunt his ass! Seriously. Losing a child would be awful, but there are other options to be a parent.
Post # 11
This actually happened to my Mom and Dad and yes, I discussed it with my husband.
The doctor in Italy told my Dad “I can only save one, your wife or your child”
For my Daddy, it was a no-brainer. He wanted his baby and loved it but he loved my Mother too and they could always have more children.
She never questioned this but saw it as his deep love for her.
I would want my husband to feel the same. And he does.
Children are precious the moment they are conceived. Especially to the mom who has that special connection in carrying the baby. But the grace of God does give us more children usually (hopefully). After falling in love, nurturing your relationship and knowing you want to grow old with someone, how would you replace that?
Post # 12
@Mrs.KMM: Out of curiousity, are you a mother yet? Or do you plan to be?
Post # 13
I would choose my child, I don’t know what FI would do. I’ve asked him but I don’t remember his answer.
Post # 14
My child. No question in my mind. I’ll tell you what, if we were in a car crash into water and he could only save me or my daughter, he sure as hell better save her. I would not want to live without her.
Post # 15
@Belle2Be: I 100% plan to be a mother. I feel it is my calling in life to be a stay at home mom.
That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve built a relationship with DH over many years. It would still hurt unbelievably to lose a child though.
Post # 16
@Belle2Be:that’s the same thing i was wondering. i’m surprised so many people are choosing themselves, and i’d be curious to find out if they still felt that way right at 9 months pregant or after delivery!