Post # 1
Please quit having such loud sex so early in the morning… and late at night. No one wants to hear your 30 minute romps. At the very least, could you spray some WD-40 on your bed so I don’t have to hear the squeaking?
Creepy dude at Ingles,
please stop smiling at me like that. it’s getting weird.
Post # 3
LOL. We had one of those neighbors when we lived in an apartment. Always at 3am, too. It was gross!
I also have a creepy neighbor. He walks his dog THROUGH my backyard. Who does that?
Dear mom and dad. Stop telling me how awesome my job is. If I thought it was awesome, I’d want to stay. Also stop telling me if i ate one Activia yogurt a day I’d be skinny and lose weight. I know you’ve delusioned yoruself into thinking you’re “dieting” but really, you’re just being stupid about it. Insisitng that volume is more important than calories when it comes to dieting is just the dumbness thing ever.
Post # 4
Dear Pittsburgh Weather:
Please stop. Seriously. 3-6 more inches of snow? I fell into a drift this morning trying to lug our frozen garbage can to the end of our driveway. I’m sick of uncovering my car and worrying about driving. I’m sick of getting snow in my shoes. I’ve grown tired of freezing my butt off/slipping and almost falling on the walk to work. If this is a joke, I’m not amused. If you can’t give it a rest, I’ll be forced to move us to Florida.
Hugs and Kisses,
Post # 5
Dear rent inspector.
Please find my house nice and tidy tomorrow, and give it the all clear. As it has caused me alot of inconvieniance to tidy up my DIY area study also but FH in greif as he had to mow the lawns and I made him do the dishes tonight.
give me a new job, so I dont hate going to work each day and listening to a overly positive person tell me how fantastic everything is.. or its ‘good as gold’ after each sentance.
Post # 6
OK, i have another that I was just reminded of…
Dear bat-s&*$-crazy friend (WARNING, THIS WILL BE LONG!),
I don’t give a flying crap about your wedding or your fake life. I’m getting really tired of you pulling our friends in between this shit and making them pick sides. I didn’t do shit to you and I’m not the only one who thinks you’re controlling, crazy and just like your crazy mom! I know that the only reason we “made up” before this last fight was that you couldn’t take hanging out with the only people left who didn’t think you were mean.
The best choice I ever made was not putting you in my wedding party and now that you’ve shown your true colors, good luck ever getting an invite to the wedding now, too. In all honesty, I sincerely hope you grow up in this next year and that you realize the way you treat and use others is not ok. It’s really unfortunate that we were such good friends just three years ago and now we’re not, but I guess that happens when you try to use your Fiance, your friends and your family to the point that no one wants anything to do with you anymore.
When you learn that you can’t purchase real life out of a Pottery Barn catalog, all perfect and fake, maybe we could be friends again. I doubt this will ever happen, but give me a call if it does.
Me–and everyone else we know
Post # 7
lol labor of love, dont you wish you could actually just send it?
Post # 8
Yes. Yes i do… haha.
But it’s ok, she already knows how I feel about her at this point… I just wish she didn’t keep trying to “compete” with me!
Post # 9
its a horrible feeling. glad she knows.
Dear future hubby.
I know your tired today, getting up and being at work at 6am sucks. But im really starting to not appreciate your things being trailed from the front door, to the couch to the kitchen to the bedroom and me acting up as a pick up service when I go to bed to put everything back in place. We have a rent inspection tomorrow, but yet I just picked up a towel on the floor in the bathroom, shoes by the door, hat on the table.. two beer bottles left on the loungeroom floor, a packet of doritos and a jumper left on the lounge.
future wifey 🙂
Post # 10
Please please please do not let the lady with a baby and 3 dogs move in downstairs. The dog at the house next door does a great job of keeping me awake at night and waking me up in the morning with her barking. I do not need 3 more, right under me, to add to the chorus. Plus, I love babies, but they are load and need lots of quite. While we are quite people, I like to crank my music up to clean once in a while and i don’t need a neighbor banging on my door cause their baby is trying to sleep in the middle of the day. I will honestly say that i left our last building because it was FULL of dogs (5 dogs in 3 out of 5 apartments!) and frankly the barking, the poop in the yard, the fur in common areas, and finding bags full of poop left on the doorstep by lazy owners drove me out. I don’t want this to happen to us here, as I Love this apartment more then any apartment I’ve lived in in the almost 10 years I’ve been renting.
I am very sorry that Fiance and I had to back out of joining you, your boyfriend, and 10 of your friends for comedy night a week ago. I bet it was fun and we totally missed out. That said, stop ignoring me. I know you are trying your best to drive home the point that my Fiance and I ought to have given you more notice, but I explained that already. Fiance pulled out at the last minute and I can’t drive his car (stupid Manuel cars!). How was I suppose to get from where we are to a place so far in the burbs that its beyond any public transportation? Please get over it and yourself. Let’s go back to talking like before and meeting one a week for lunch. Being angry at me seems a bit silly. Take my heartfelt apology and move on.
Post # 11
Dear Powers That Be Who Make Decisions,
Seriously, I feel a little beat down today. Between the snow and the realization that I HATE my job a little more each day, I need some good news.
Some good news like Mr. KM gets into the school he needs to be at, regardless of where it is. Boston, New Haven, Atlanta, whatever. He needs to know, I need to know… it’s frustrating to not know where you’re moving to when you’re planning a wedding at the same time.
I need a decision on my end, too. I need to know how much longer I’ll have to wait! It’s holding up alot of decisions and such and it’s REALLY frustrating. I’m not good at waiting. Not even a little bit.
Also, seriously. Enough with the snow. I have about 4 errands that I need to run today, but I’m avoiding going out because, well, the snow is a huge pain in the butt to drive in and I heard the roads were really terrible.
Post # 12
KM! I am in the same boat… we have NO IDEA where we’re going and I hate school a little more each day… and my job. Lol.
Hang in there!
Post # 13
@laboroflove- girl, I’ve been driven just about crazy! The [big name] school in Boston accidently sent an email to their whole applicant pool telling everyone they’d been waitlisted, and then a retraction saying they hadn’t even started looking at the applications! THAT was obnoxious as ANYTHING!
Post # 14
UGH, I feel you on that! We are expecting a decision within the next two weeks from his top choice… if they don’t give him a tuition waiver, we’re headed to Dallas (we hope). The indecision is like sitting on pins and needles… it is sooo hard to think about what our kitchen colors will be when we don’t even have a place to live yet! Or what furniture we’ll need, my job, how we’re going to pay bills… sigh. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one!
Keep me updated via PM, I’ll be crossing my fingers for you!
Post # 15
Dear Weird Pushy Couple:
Fiance and I do not like you. We do not want to “get together” with you. We have polietly declined enough times to make it pretty obvious, however you are both so full of yourselves that you can’t even IMAGINE that people might not like you. Just because we have mutual friends does not mean that we have to hang out. And no- you will not be invited to the wedding (although I’m sure you are assuming you are). Stop inviting us to things! Ok done now.
Post # 16
Dear Place of Employment,
Please let me wear pants to work, I am beginning to hate hate hate skirts. I realize that I work for a Catholic institution, and I respect your faith, despite not sharing it. However, I think the part of the Bible that says that women should not feign masculinity was not referring specifically to the wearing of pants since, when it was written, no one wore pants. I have really nice pants, and I don’t think I would be mistaken for a man in them. Also, it’s 23 degrees outside, so have a little compassion. Please?