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The other thread has reached epic numbers, so I figured we needed another one. Ready, set, vent!
Dear Ex-Boss,
Thanks for firing me after working there a complete month. Also, thanks for getting the assistant to give me the news, instead of you being a real woman. Y'all will reap what you sow for firing me for "not doing my job". What a effing bold faced lie. I don't wish bad on people, but you know....And you did a stellar job, waiting until a week after the death of a close cousin, which you knew about, to fire me! Man, what a woman!
P.S. I have a Master's degree. I could do your job....AND better, along with grammatically correct sentences!
Signed,
Disgruntled worker who wishes she was bad enough to call the state out there to look at things
Dear Co-teacher,
Thanks for smiling in my face and reporting me for "not doing my job". Funny., how I wasn't doing my job, but every time I turned around, you were at the table doing lesson plans, while I'm interacting with the kids. Why do I know Z can read, but you think she just learned her months of the year from your pathetic memorization on the carpet each morning? I know you don't like me and I don't care. BUT you do need to know God for real and stop pretending. A Godly person, a REAL one, wouldn't go on like that.
P.S. You got on my nerves because no one cares if you lost your house in Katrina. Yo ass still ALIVE right? Alright then. Get over it. You can buy a new house, cars, etc.
Signed,
Yo ass know you got on my nerves for that month. Fo sho.
Completely NWR, but still...
To whom it may concern,
What a poor way to do business! I arrived today for my appointment on time, in fact, I was early. I sat calmly for exactly 30 minutes after my appointment time before i approached to find out the reason for such a delay. When I was told that there were 4 people STILL in front of me, I have to admit I was a little miffed! I remained calm and decided to try to wait. One and a half hours after arriving, I decided the time I was missing from work was indeed not worth it. SERIOUSLY? When I questioned the booking process, I was told that this particular person is constanly double booked because she only works one day a week... wow. Nice. Then you proceed to tell me that many clients have left for this reason... ok if I wasn't so happy with the work, I'd be one of them
Sincerely,
me
Dear ex-MOH:
I still can't believe you left me for Jehovah.
I still can't believe you stopped talking to me after you were supposed to be my MOH.
I still can't believe we were supposed to become little old ladies together having brunch and now you pretend I don't exist.
I still can't believe you exorcised me from your life like I was a demon, because I am a Christian and you are a Jehovah's Witness.
-Your eternally scarred friend
Dear T,
I am sick of this high school drama and you talking behind my back. If you have something to say, say it to me! I'm not the one who will break down in tears. I don't regret the things I said (which wasn't anything that harsh--I pointed out the inaccuracies) because you treated me horribly for two years, at least; I'm not going to "come around" this time. I am being gracious by inviting you to things that your fiance is invited to, being civil to you for the sake of our other friends, and you can't even rise up to that level? If you weren't playing the victim all the time you might be able to see that even now, I'm still trying. And you, my fake friend, are still being the drama queen.
-c. paradiso
Dear family.
You are not invited for a reason. That reason is that you are not nice.
Dear Mom,
You family isnt invited for a reason. Get over it.
(Figured I post this again....it deserves it!)
Dear Future Mother in Law,
I really do not like you at all. You need to grow the hell up and realize the world does not revolve around you. You are to damn old to be on myspace and facebook talking shit about ppl like you're a teenager still in high school. You are a two-faced backstabber and I'm glad I saw you for who you really are. Thanx for trying to break us up! It really proved his love for me and you made my job a lot easier cuz now he doesn't even talk to you! You'll be lucky if you even get a save the date. Stop talking shit about everyone cuz you're life is not a bed of roses. I feel sorry for your kids...you're a terrible mother! You will never get the chance to do what you have done to your kids to my son or future children. Your a bitch, a drama queen, nosey as hell, a liar, a traitor and to many other things to name. You're gonna be lonely ass hell.
o by the way, ur a horrible wife and i dont know how ur husband has stood your ass this long!
Sincerely,
Your Future Daughter in Law
Dear Future Brother in Law,
I really, really do not like you. You are worse than you're mother. You talk shit that you can't back up. You are such a punk. Stop calling my Fiancee's phone anonymous talking shit. Duh! dumb ass we know its you....don't you think we know you're voice. You are such a loser...stop making babies you can't take care of. Instead of making babies.....make your way to re-hab...you drug-addict, alcoholic bum! Stop stealing people's clothes and keep a job long enough to buy you some and some for your kids so they can stop wearing hand me downs. You fucking still live with your mom! You waste of space! Do me a favor, the next time you pretend to try to kill yourself...slip off the bridge and actually do it! My brother is gonna kick your ass as soon as he catches you and thats a promise.
o by the way, you're girlfriend is ugly as hell and I'ma beat her ass!
Sincerely,
Your Future Sister in Law
Dear Ugly Ass Girlfriend of my Future Brother in Law,
I really, really do not like you. You talk way to much shit by text message or over the net but don't have anything to say to my face. You are so damn ugly, I don't see how anybody procreates with you. Your a sorry excuse for a mother. I feel sorry for your kids. Stoping kissing his moms ass! You've been kissing ass so long, your lips are gonna have to be surgically removed! Still living at home with your mom with no job....you and your no good ass man deserve each other. I'm glad he cheats on you....you deserve it! I'm glad he steals pain meds from you an replaces them with ibuprofen...you deserve it! I'm glad he calls you all kinds of names...you deserve it! Your trash! Not worth the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. You're just jealous cuz Im me and I got the good one and you... well you got the bullshit! You should take a look at your low down ass life in the mirror before you have anything to say about mines. Becasue my life is in order. Im the shit....get a big wiff! I hope you continue to lay down with that dog....eventually you'll get up with fleas! bitch!
o yea...when i see you....ima smash your ass!
Sincerely,
The Woman You Wish You Were
P.S. You can all go to hell with gasoline panties on! Yes future brother in law....even your ass!
(Whoa! I like this thread......I been into it with these people for over a year now! Can you tell I don't like them much?)
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry my expensive wedding is giving you hernias. I am sorry you had a cheap wedding and think mine is over the top. I am sorry that my fiance and me recieving expensive engagement gifts makes you think we have it "too easy." Mostly I'm sorry that your parents were poor and couldn't give you a nice wedding, and now you're seriously wealthy and are giving me one. STOP BEING JEALOUS OF MY WEDDING! If you don't want my fiance and I to have a nice wedding, don't pay for it. But shut up about making me feel materialistic just because you had a courthouse wedding and a non reception. You sign the $250pp contract with the hotel and then make me feel like crap about it. Don't sign it if you think I don't deserve it! sheesh!
Love,
Bellini
Dear printing co.:
thanks for royally screwing me out of over 300! i have reported the fraudulent charges to my bank as well as alerted the company that we both joined to promote our products that you are a scam. i stand by my word and my bride received her invitations yesterday and loved them so yeah SCREW YOU, YOU SUCK.
Dear M:
Just friggin' ask already GEEZ!
i love reading these.
sskti said exactly what i want to
Ugh i wish there was a way to not invite stupid family members
Dear Mom,
Yes, I still have my prom dress. And yes, you may be able to fit into it now that you lost all the weight but NO YOU CAN'T WEAR IT SOMETIME. Get a f**king grip on yourself and stop acting like a teenager. You're 55 years old. Deal with it.
Love, k.
P.S. - I'm going to tell Dad the Louboutins you bought for yourself for my engagement party, which you know I have been lusting after forever, cost almost $800 and he's going to freak. Eat it.
Dear Sister,
Listen closely, because I am only going to say this once: THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. For years I have been there for you, listened to you, supported you, and played big-sister to you even though YOU are several years older than I.
Now I am engaged to the love of my life and regardless of how that makes you feel, IT IS A BIG DEAL. I will not apologize for being happy. I still listen to your complaints and frustrations and joys and excitement when good things happen. Why can't YOU be excited for ME for a change? You were here for two days and never once asked to see my wedding dress. You never once asked anything about the wedding. And I knew if I brought it up you would make me feel selfish for doing so.
If you weren't my sister I'd be replacing you as a bridesmaid right about now. Instead I will smile and play nice and all the while worry that you'll disappoint me again.
Love,
Me
you are an idiot. you sent me a pack n ship label confirmation on wednesday but you never friggin' shipped the package that i needed for my bride by friday. then i alert you that i had taken out a fraudulent activity on my acct and guess what? the package arrives today with the friggin date blacked out, but guess what idiot you left the tracking number you sent it friday. give me my money back you insane pariah. i cannot believe that people actually take others money and deliver zero customer service. i feel sorry for all brides out there because in the words of antonella (bridezilla) you people f'g suck and i'm going to tell everyone i know. have fun corresponding with my bank.
Dear Mom...
Sorry to have to be the bearer of this unfortunate news....u don't know everything! Never did and never will.
By the way....saying that your not coming to my wedding because you don't want to see my dad is both pathetic and childish.
Thanx
Your Daughter
Dear Ms. Bridesmaid,
It's my wedding, not yours. Stop trying to steal my wedding by pushing your awful, expensive, gaudy ideas on me and stop trying to run my wedding like it's yours. Stop ordering me around like I'm nothing more than a servant you can kick around so you can make your wedding dreams come true through MY day. You will have your day very soon. Let me have mine. If you keep acting like it's your right to take attention away from me on my wedding day, I will kick your rear end very hard. Yes, I will. Don't laugh cause I am not joking. Oh and I know you don't work out so believe me when I say you can't take me.
Dear Slackers (all 40 of you)
Perhaps you didn't notice, but our RSVP deadline is today. Oh wait, there's no way you COULDN"T have noticed, because I sent you a friendly email reminder earlier in the week. Yes, I know my deadline is a little early, but it's because I knew I would have to waste my precious time tracking down slackers like you. I did everything I could to make it easy on you. I didn't make you mail those stupid response cards - with just a click of your finger you could RSVP on our user-friendly website. (And I know you are on your computer because I am subjected to your facebook updates.) So why is it that you STILL haven't responded?!! WTF is wrong with you???
Love, Me
PS. Dear coworkers: Why the heck would you basically invite yourselves to my wedding and then tell me now that you can't come? Seriously, you guys gave me so much grief about making sure you were invited and now you're not coming?? I guess I'm glad since I only wanted to invite 2 of you, and those are the two that are coming, but I just wanted to let you know that you are jerks. Thanks.
Dear FMIL,
I was all set to sign a prenup that would allow you to protect all your money in the event I divorce my FI, but you apparently interpreted that willingness as me being an idiot. No, I do not want your money. If I wanted money I wouldn't have gotten a job at a non-profit. No, I am not going to sign a legal document that is so unfair that multiple lawyers are advising me not to sign. Perhaps you forgot I got my masters degree and can think. No, I do not "trust" you to not screw me over if he and I get divorced - I've seen the feuds you start with your "own" family members when they disagree with you. I am not stupid, nor am I blind, nor am I afraid of you. You backed me into a corner and GUESS WHAT - now your son is starting to understand that it's really not me, IT'S YOU. And yes, you can bet this is the first step to protecting our marriage from your future meddling and drama.
A
Wow, this truly is cathartic. Whoever started this thread rocks.
Dear Mom,
Why do you insist on making complicated and already awkward situations even worse? You need to start thinking before you speak and offering things to people that are really inconvenient and uncomfortable for others. Why on earth would you invite a relative you know I'm not the biggest fan of to STAY ON OUR COUCH for the entire weekend of the engagement party? It's called a f**king hotel room. FI and I are already stressed about the party and taking the e-pics beforehand so why must you complicate things by having unnecessary guests at the house when we are having the party AT the house IN the room where the couch is. You really are a f**king idiot sometimes and you need to start consulting me before you pull this bulls**t.
hateyourface, k.
P.S. - Daddy is pissed at you too but for some reason is being a total p***y and not saying anything.
Dear Dad,
Grow a pair, wouldja? You need to get your wife in line before I kill her.
Love, your little princess.
Dear Family Member *Anonymous*:
HOW COULD YOU? How could you betray our relationship? How could you humiliate my parents by repeating unsubstantiated (and completely untrue!!!) lies about me? How could you go behind my back and say those things about me to *our* family?
Where the hell do you get off sticking your nose in my business without having the slightest clue as to what really happened?!? Why did you believe what someone else said (and then repeat those things to our family - my parents even!) without ever talking to me and asking me about any of it?
Obviously, for the entirety of our relationship I have given you way too much credit. To think that you so readily believed all of the horrible things that were said about me . . . it breaks my heart. I can't believe that you were so easily manipulated, and that you thought so little of me that you would believe such ridiculous allegations.
What freaking planet have you been living on where blood isn't thicker than water?!? Especially between the two of us!?!
I didn't air any of your dirty laundry regarding your divorce (or your marriage, for that matter) to anybody in our family. And why? Because it wasn't my place, and I respected you enough to honor and protect your privacy . . . and our friendship. Apparently you didn't get that memo. Apparently, you never meant anything you said to me when you told me that you loved and that you cared about me.
YOU ARE NO LONGER FAMILY TO ME. I will not allow you to continue to hurt me. I have taken the high road and avoided confronting you to out of respect for my parents and *my* family, and to prevent giving idle (and wicked) forked-tongues anything further to wag about.
You will reap what you have sown.
hey new mom & dad in law-
doing laundry during off-peak hours at your home while we are staying there for our WEDDING is not paramount to disrespect nor are we "going behind your backs". it's laundry. we live in another country, and you need to step off, loosen your grip, and stop being so damn selfish. We weren't trying to break your "trust" - just to clean our clothes while we're away from home - 7000 miles away! grow up!
Dear Future SIL/bridesmaid:
It's truly a shame that you feel the world is against you. I wish you would just "play nice" and at least *try* to act like you're happy to be in your brother's wedding, instead of acting sullen and refusing to get involved. I don't know why you're acting this way, but I'm no longer going to bend over backwards to make you feel good. I suppose by now I have made it onto your "hate" list, just like your other SIL and so many countless others, but you can't say I didn't try to get to know you and be your friend. If I could do one thing over with this wedding, it would be to ask one of my other friends to be a bridesmaid -- someone who'd actually feel honored -- instead of you. This is truly a shame because at one time I thought I was so blessed to be getting such a great SIL. I had no idea you'd act like this. Oh well, at least your brothers are cool!
Dear Future MIL:
This is NOT -- I repeat -- NOT a day about you. Your crazy demands, your constant need to be the center of attention, your refusal to lift a finger to help with anything -- these are all reasons why I keep my distance from you. Please stop trying to contact my mother; I am her only daughter, she has been extremely supportive of me, and I want the two of us to share this as a special time right now. And no, that doesn't include you, because you'd only turn it around to make it about you, you, you. You act like a child and that's how we will treat you.
(I REALLY needed that! Thanks for starting this thread!)
Dear Future Parents In-Law:
We don't want a rehearsal dinner, seeing as how most of my friends and family won't be in town yet. Please just give us a) money or b) a honeymoon instead. We're paying for most of this ourselves and I reaaaaaaaaaly want to wear Manolos but can't justify spending 1/20th of our wedding budget on them. (Even if I will wear them until I'm dead. Just saying.) I know you guys have invested wisely, and it would be so greatly appreciated. Also, your son would never in a million years ask you for these things (which is something I love so much about him -- you've raised a very noble man) and I'm just praying the conversation will come up and you'll take the hint.
Thank you --
Cupcake.
PS -- The Manolos are so pretty!
This is NWR, but......
Dear Current Boss,
Please face the fact that you are bi-polar, please take medication.
Love,
Your current employees that can't wait to find new jobs
PS. Your 30 and have alzheimers & look like a vampiress today, not a good combo.
Your 30 and have alzheimers & look like a vampiress today, not a good combo.
Ok, that made me literally laugh out loud.
@hellohellohello: No JOKE! She is wearing a crushed black velvet long shirt with a long skirt and dark lipstick! Creepy!! And yes, the alzheimers is out of control, she can't remeber any assignments that she gives us....oh how i LOVE my job!
Dear Bridemaid from hell.
Thanks for not being there for in planning and sharring the most ex the must exciting/ tradgic time in my life. I have been there for you no matter what and all you can do is flake off and ditch me. You are the worst friend ever it was a maricle I got a hold of you to come to my moms funeral. I love you like a sister and always will but will forever wonder why my best friend turned into a jealious flake. Somtimes we talk and we talk about being close agian and i like that idea but some things need to change for that to happen. Thanks for nothing and don't worry i will not ask you for anything more in the future.
Note I would love to put this on her thank you card!
Dear Failing Moron F*cktard in JP's project group,
I know you're a moron. I know you can't code yourself out of paper bag. Why did you not get your shit done before today? JP should not have to do the ENTIRE GROUP'S project. He made all of the hardware, and now has to do all of the software coding for you. You and the other morons barely had anything to do.
I only get to see JP on the weekends, so please stop taking up his time. It really makes me sad.
Stop failing at life and taking advantage of other people because you're lazy and/or an idiot.
Go f*ck yourself,
Lauren
Dear Drunkzilla
I'm sorry that you are such an selfish insensative bride that you had to beg people to help you with your big day because you are such a brat no one wanted to help you. You even tryed to get my best friend whom you shunned from your wedding to do must the planning since your bridesmaids refused to. I'm sorry I am a better person then you and have people linning up to help me with mine. Oh im sorry for going to bachorlette party trust me i would of rather stayed home then of gotten my crotch grabbed by some strange man and then you cussing me out. You where so drunk you forgot what you said to me and thought i made the whole thing up. Yes I love to lie about men grabbing me imapropiatly. So screw you I'm a nice person so I forgive you but I want you to know I saw your wedding pictures and your flowers where ugly. Your over priced pictures where blurry with red eye and bad lighting. I personally i though it was sad that you own sister looked better then you on your wedding day. You wore more makeup on your bachlorette party then you did on your own wedding. Other then that your wedding cake pictures looked very nice and I am very happy for you. It really good to find a guy who loves you like that.
Sincerely
Beautiful BRIDE FROM THE INSIDE OUT!
Dear supposed BFF:
Where do you get off telling my FI that he "needs to grow a spine" the first moment you get alone with him? If you have something to say to me, then say it!!! We have been friends for decades and you've never had a problem saying something hurtful before, so just say it. Your behavior and judgemental attitude lately is really starting to BUG!
Signed,
The only BFF that has been there for you when you really needed one!
Dear Future Mother in Law,
Didn't I tell you ....you would reap what you sew? I'm glad your no good, loser, drug addict, alcoholic ass son stole all your rent money and then your husband sliced his hand open punching him thru a window.. I hope you get evicted! You totally deserve it! I bet your dumb ass still has him living there after that to. You people are funny as hell! Constantly talking trash about others when obviously your the garbage. My fiancee' is the only sane adult in your family! I'm so glad he doesn't associate himself with you people.
All of you are like one big ass circus.....its very entertaining. You're a witch! I totally would not be sad if you do not come to the wedding.
Oh by the way...guess whos taking engagement pics on Tuesday and guess who won't be getting one.
Signed
Your Future Daughter in Law
Dear Sister in Law,
You are B****. You were never welcoming and always NEGATIVE. And your bridal shower gift which were SOCKS...JUST SOCKS was so bad considering I spent $250 on your daughter for her bridesmaid dress. But the worst is that you can't even come to your BROTHER'S WEDDING. Sorry all your relationships didn't pan out. I wonder why. Oh I know, YOU'RE A B****. Your behavior and attitude will not be tolerated by me anymore.
Signed,
Can't stand you.
Dear Fiance's Boss,
I understand you are his boss but it is INCREDIBLY RUDE to invite a guest when the invitation just has your name on it. YOU COULDN'T EVEN ASK to see if it was okay. How do you know that I am not over my limit on head count. Oh you don't know CAUSE YOU DIDN'T ASK. Because you are his boss, I cannot say anything but I will be giving you the evil eye. Behind your back of course.
Signed,
Seriously so unbelievably RUDE
Just need a little vent...
Dear X Husband,
What the hell? I understand that you are married now and have two step-children that you have used to make our children feel replaced. I spend days repairing damage and cleaning up emotional messes each time our children return home from visiting you. It may be too much to ask that you skip your night out at the clubs when they are there, but really? Is it too much to ask that you keep their health in mind? Your step-daughter ran fever for 4 days before you took her to a doctor. You let our daughter sleep in her bed all weekend! Now that the step-daughter has been officially diagnosed with the flu - it seems a little neglectful, no? Remember when our son came home sick from your house? I immediately took him in and got him on Tamiflu - I was even so thougtful as to call you and report the exact strain and suggest that your family get to the doctor to get your own meds... Did you even display this same courtesy? Nope.
I should know better than to expect you to do anything decent. As our son struggles through his young years - somewhere trying to find acceptance of his father, I can only offer my support and unconditional love. When they grow up to hate you - I will not be able to fix it. It's ok with me if he is smart and sensitive rather than tough and rough. It's ok with me that he has no desire to play football - the kid can be a ballerina and I will love him just the same. It saddens me that you have become this man. It saddens me for them.
I hope you get flu,
the x wife
That was a huge load off of my chest... Here's the one I need now...
Dear FI~
Wow. You are an incredible, amazing man. I am constantly in awe of the love in your heart and the beauty in your soul. Along comes this girl, just needing to laugh and you - in one swoop - completely fulfill my every need. You honor my dreams and wipe my tears. You accepted an 18 wheeler of baggage without so much as a hesitation.
My children have become our children becuase they love you so much and cling to the love you provide them. Your lap has become a safe place or them and I am more than willing to share. :)
I can't believe that after all this time of half-heartedly believing that God had a plan - he brought me to you. I am so incredibly blessed, so thankful and in love.
I cannot wait to be your wife.
You were absolutely worth every moment of pain and 30 years of waiting... I love you!
-me
Dear Mother,
I do not want this big wedding. I know you think it is small having 100 people, but I would like to have 30. I REALLY don't think any of your friends will actually be that bothered if we don't have a big wedding. You only want to show off to your friends. It is emotional blackmail when you tell me "its what your dad would have wanted". You are a widow and I would like you to keep your money to yourself for your older age. But you won't let me do that because you are so obsessed with "keeping up with the Jones's" and reminding me that it would be a slur on the family name if we didn't have it. I don't want a cake and a videographer because I don't want you wasting £3000ish on cr@p we don't need. Oh, and while we are on the subject, seeing as though we are having 100 people, why do 55 of them have to be your friends meaning we actually don't have room for any of our friends there? I know I get excited at points, because if we are doing it, I want it to be good, but really, I'd rather not have it.
I still love you but it does bug me.
JE xx
NWR:
Dear Master's Supervisor,
I hate you! You made my life MISERABLE for the 2 years when I was under your supervision! You make everyone around you miserable - you treat everyone horribly and you act like you are GOD! You told me I was not a priority and you take advantage of every one around you! Despite your dispicable supervisory skills I managed to successfully defend my thesis in the 2 years allotted.
Part of your job as my supervisor is to continue writing reference letters for me. I am now unlikely to get the scholarship that I put umpteen hours of work into because you "don't have time" to write me a reference letter! I sent you the details 2 WEEKS ago and reminded you before the weekend but the day before it is due you write to me saying you have no time and I need to organize another reference with only hours remaining until the submission time.
I have never said I have hated someone in my life but I do hate you - just because you are an orthopeadic surgeon does not make you better than everyone else. And academic research is just as relevant and necessary as clinical research. I do NOT care if I ever get my manuscript with you published because at least I will NEVER EVER have to talk to you ever again!
Your ex-student!
P.S. Your mustache makes you look like Hitler!
I SO need this right now!! 
Dear annoying co-worker I share a wall with,
No, I'm not at my desk right now. Yes I'm camping out in a conference room. You may think I'm odd, but this is the only way I can form complete sentences w/o going out of my mind and snapping at you!!! I can hear your neurotic conversations with your wife even with this door closed. UPS isn't going to care if you word the note "Please leave by back door" or "Please leave in back"! How does your cell phone battery NOT die, you've spend the vast majority of the day talking to your wife, every day! And please stop bringing carrots and gummy vitamins and anything crunchy/chewy to eat. Your dentures are pulling loose and that slap and slurp noise you do while trying to keep them in and gaping your mouth open wide...it enrages me. Oh and you know how you think it's cute to say "Alwighty wen" or "Velly goood" like you're a 5 year old...sorry nope. And the ipod you complain about me using (remember me, your boss!), it's to tune your loud ass out!! I turn it on as high as it can go and I still hear every slurp and word you utter!!!
Sincerely,
You're makin' my eyelid twitch
Dear Best Man's Fiance,
We don't like you, his family doesn't like you, and you're a slut. Just cause you were poor growing up doesn't mean you have the right to marry into his family for money. And seriously stop spreading rumors that we're having relationship issues "obviously" because we've been engaged for 3 years. I know I can't expect you to comprehend that I want my daddy to walk me down the aisle and I want to wait until he's not weak from chemo and radiation and is actually able to make that walk and dance with me. The day isn't about fairy princess dresses and YOU it's about two seperate families becoming one all because of love. Also, you know how you bitched a fit and now your fiance' isn't allowed to speak to many of his friends now because you couldn't keep your legs closed??? Yeah, they're all sitting at your table while your fiance sits with the rest of the bridal party. Including the guy you're still sleeping with. Damn, I'm gonna need a bigger table...Enjoy!! :-)
Sincerely,
Our three year engagement you must make gossip about
Dear Sister that's not in the wedding,
I love you to pieces. You are a fabulous older sister and I admire and adore you. However, our family STRESSES you out. They stress me out too, and when our stresses combine it's not pretty. I don't want you to think I don't love you or that I left you out to be mean. I know it wasn't the proper etiquette, but seriously. I want this day to be perfect. Plus, you'll thank me later for not making you wear green. So, perk up, pull yourself together and get over it. At least I asked you to read!
Love,
your baby sister and sometimes bridezilla.
Dear Future Mother in Law,
You suck so much sometimes! I'm not entirely convinced that you mean well, either. You know why I have to take naps when we visit? So that I can take a break from always being on guard around you! Every second that I'm not around FH when we visit, I know you are trying to manipulate him into something. Quit oversharing, quit referring to FFIL as "FH's father." You were married for 25 years! Quit trying to shove your boyfriend onto us like a dad. By the way, in case you haven't noticed, he sucks worse than you! Grow up, basically. Oh yeah, and it wouldn't hurt to be a little bit excited for us. Just a smidge.
Yours truly,
elaine
Hey r,
QUIT BEING A KNOW IT ALL! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF COOKING AND YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES. I've never liked you anyways, so shut it! Yes, it sounds like a lot of food, but guess what: TWENTY FIVE PEOPLE REQUIRE A LOT OF FOOD. You don't cook food for our parties ever, you probably don't cook ever, and I'm getting really tired of you trying to refute me. Did you even come last year? Guess who had to step in last minute and cook another main course so that everyone was fed... yeah, it wasn't you.
-cinemaparadiso
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