Post # 1
There have been some of these threads before, I thought perhaps we should bring it back!
Once in a while, I actually manage to have a brainwave or two and do things correctly. I know. I’m shocked too.
In all seriousness, I am not an idiot and I am actually a contributing member of this organization. Hence the 20% raise at my last review. You don’t need to criticize every.single.thing. You really don’t need to criticize when something is already perfect. There’s no need to purse your mouth and wait for something to come to you and then, no matter how absurd it is, let me know how displeased you are.
Like the font. Our firm standard is Heveltica 10. Everything I have ever submitted is in Heveltica 10.
You don’t have to tell me I did something well or compliment me. I realize it would be too difficult for you so let’s compromise. When I do a great job on something instead of making up things to criticize let’s just say “Thanks.” and leave it at that.
ENOUGH ALREADY! Quit with the rain, thunder and bulls–t and let’s just have some sunshine!
That is all.
Post # 3
Dear U.S Consulate in Montreal,
Please let this last leg of our Visa Process go smoothly. Accept the info that I have pretty please? Let’s be honest, what you are asking for is above and beyond what is needed and just makes you look silly.
And no, I have not forgotten that you hold my fate in your hands.
You know, I think that actually made me feel a wee bit better 😀
Post # 4
Dear office tower built in 1971:
I hear you creaking protest and soft swaying to the super strong wind outside. I know that your windows are supposed to shudder like that, but you’re making my stomach turn.
Could you please cut it out until I leave the bowels of your 21st floor in an hour and a half?
Post # 5
I do love these threads when they come about 🙂
You have had 6 months to order your dresses. Wedding is in 100 days. DO IT ALREADY!!! I am kinda freaking out.
Post # 6
I love you and I can’t wait to marry you in 3 days!
Today is my last day at work before our wedding and I would really appreciate it if you could move a little faster so I could get the hell out of here.
Screw you for not having the cargo pants I wanted in FI’s size. 😛
Post # 7
Dear people that should know better,
My grandmother was just put in the ground yesterday….how about not asking me to do stupid shit for you just yet. I’ve barely been functional since Sat when we lost her. This is my first day to work this week. So, why OH why would you think that asking me stupid shit is a good idea????? You are grown and can handle life without me holding your hand for just a couple days! And don’t ever EVER reference me losing my grandmother and your experience with death as ” Been there done that”, sorry but that’s not showing sympathy that’s you being a dumbass.
That is all.
Post # 8
Dear FIs Parents,
Please stop telling us you are going to help with some of the wedding costs if you have no intention or means to do so. It’s okay with me that we are paying for so much ourselves, but every time you give me hope that you’re going to send something and then don’t, it’s a let down.
Also, traveling to our wedding via cross country motorcycle trip, instead of a plane, is a terrible idea. Forget the odd sun and wind burns you’re bound to have, and forget the fact you’ll be dancing bow-legged. FI does not want to worry about you two getting lost, delayed, or killed in an accident days before or after our wedding. It’s a wonderful idea, but this is not the time or destination.
Other than that, we cannot wait to see you soon!
Post # 10
Dear 20 year old self,
Why did you ever think Six Feet Under was good? Stop watching reruns of this pretentious show and get back to work!
Post # 11
You are a major pain in my ass. I hate you.
Post # 12
Dear Unnamed Friend:
Stop being so annoying! Yes it’s great that you and your boyfriend are finally dating after months of hearing you whine about not being together, but you act like you’re 15 and so immature. You need to grow up! Also, stop sneaking around. You guys are 24 years old!!!!! And I don’t need to hear every detail about your intimate moments. My FI would KILL me if I told anyone what happens in our private time!!!!! Plus I don’t really care.
Annoyed with you
Post # 13
Dear My Boss,
It has been 2 years since my last raise, i know you keep telling me your hands are tied and there is nothing you can do about it but i also know that is total BS because my best friend ( who used to work for you too ) seriously dates a Director in another department and he said he gave out $20k in raises last month. if i dont get a raise when i hit 3 years in may you may lose someone you really cant afford to lose.
thanks for nothing.
(*i know i should be lucky to have a job period – i just dont like being lied to – Just tell me No you arent getting a raise before you make up lies)
Post # 14
@Ryansgirl: Ick, I have a friend like that…. o_O
Post # 15
There is a very clear sign on our door telling you to walk ten metres to the right to the service entrance for all deliveries. Don’t act like I’m a jerk just because you lugged a giant box up the stairs only for me to tell you to head straight back down to the service entrance and ring the little bell. Learn to read, then we’ll talk. Kthxbai.
Not The Person Who Needs To Sign For Your Stupid Package
Dear Other People Who Want To Talk To People Downstairs,
Yes, I know the door is locked. Yes, I know there is a sign saying come talk to the receptionist upstairs. However, I am not a receptionist. Stop making a beeline for me just because I’m a girl. You want to talk to my male co-worker who, incidentally, has the closer desk to the stairs.
Thanks for reminding me that gender stereotyping is alive and well,
Post # 16
Why do you tempt me so?!
Please stop scratching me just because you want to play. I don’t need to look like a striped tiger walking down the aisle with tons of scars. If you do not cease and desist as the wedding draws closer, you will go live with Grandma until after the honeymoon.