Post # 1
When I was in high school, I was a teacher’s aide for kindergarten and first grade students. It was a small school, and I developed (and still have) a great relationship with most of the kids I worked with. The ones I still keep in touch with have all met and like FH. I want to invite them to the wedding, but we’re trying to keep the guest list small.
Problem is, I have all these extended family members that I feel obligated to invite, most of which I rarely see. Some I see about 2-3 times a year. Some are children. I can’t justify saying, “Sorry, Aunt and Uncle, you can’t bring your child, but these completely unrelated kids will be there.” (Obviously not actually saying it, but you know.)
There’s too many of the kids to make part of the bridal party, so I think I’m just going to have to A) Make the guest list bigger or B) Just not invite them.
Luckily I’ve got a while to figure this out, but working on my guest list on TK is really making me think about it.
Post # 3
I say, invite them all or have a thick skin. We invited all kids, but that was because FI was willing to pay for them. They are cheap 🙂
However, there is no rule that you have to treat all kids equally and that you have to invite them all. Just be polite, firm, and don’t mention that some kids will be invited and others won’t be.
Post # 4
@mepayne: I’m not sure why the hate on for etiquette based on this situation you described.
You are free to invite whomever you like to share in your day. You are the hosts, and you determine the guest list. It would be most rude for a guest to question that.
The only etiquette “rule” about who must be invited is that social units must be invited together. Other then that, it is fully your discretion. No one is entitled to an invitation, regardless of their familial relationship.
Post # 5
@andielovesj: I’ve always heard that etiquette says all or no kids… or you set a specific cut off, which is usually only the bridal party, immediate family + bridal party, or close family (like first cousins) + immediate family + bridal party.
Post # 6
@mepayne: No. People often default to this because it can be easier. But it is certainly not required.
In fact, one could argue that it is more polite to not invite someone to witness such an important and intimate event, if they do not have the relationship to back that up.
The only people that must be invited are the other halves of social units.