Post # 1
My Fiance and I are 18 and 20 and newly engaged. We’re ecstatic but no one else seems to be. We’ve been together for 3 years now and during that time we’ve been through a lot we are ready to get married and “officially” be committed to one another.
I knew it would be a struggle to get people totally on board due to the stigma that comes with being a teen bride (Is she pregnant? I bet they’ll be divorced in 3 months) but it’s starting to get to me. It breaks my heart that we aren’t afforded the same automatic happiness that older couples are.
We’ve already conceded to a 2-year engagement so I will be at least 20 and my mother feels like she will be less judged when I get married. The rest of my very large, very close family hasn’t been much better. I just don’t understand. They all love my Fiance and accepted him into the family a long time ago. But now everyone just wants us to wait wait wait wait.
When other people ask about my impending nuptials and are skeptical It doesn’t bother me and I am able to tell them that it’s what’s right for us and that I’m not worried because we have already grown as individuals quite a bit in the course of our relationship and our feelings are evolving and becoming deeper and more adult as we mature. But when it’s my family, who I was so excited to share this with seems so negative and nervous, it just makes me want to throw in the towel on my wedding dream and get married in the courthouse.
My poor, sweet Fiance keeps telling his commitment to me is already firmly in place wedding band or not and he just wants me to be happy and has offered to take me to the courthouse or wait 4 years (no f****** way). So right now I am going to wait 2 whole years and plan the wedding that I want and I hope that my mom and family will come around because, aside from marrying Fiance, there is nothing I would love more than to plan my wedding with my mom.
Post # 3
I wish I could tell you something that would make it all better. But I can’t change the doubters words. What I can tell you is that 2 years flies by… Before you know it your time will be here and you will have your wedding planned without the rush. Trust yourself and your Fiance… but don’t worry about the rest…
Post # 4
@LadyCupcake: Thank you. I do try to be positive but sometimes I just get overwhelmed.
Post # 5
I’m a decade older than you, having a two year engagement, and still have to deal with snide comments. I think it’s just part of being engaged.
Post # 6
@MissHobbit: I’m sorry that you are dealing with rudness as well. Just goes to show that people will always find something to be nasty about.
Post # 7
Oh, Ive heard this before. Got the “you’re too young” and “no need to rush into things.” That was 22 years ago… 😉 Living well is the best revenge… Good luck!
Post # 8
i understand somewhat of what you are feeling. i will be 21 when i marry and my Fiance will be 22. our families are good but my Future Mother-In-Law did talk about waiting at first but everyone is different. we explained to her it felt right for us and they are all behind us and even helping financially/ emotionally. just follow your heart and know that it will be okay. if you are worried about what others say, try couples pre-marital counseling so they know you are serious but if not, just have fun and enjoy your engagement!
Post # 9
@Araya: We’ll just have to show em’ all
Post # 10
I feel for you hunny.
I have set my date (February 2014) and although I want to get married tomorrow, it will take some time to plan and really I don’t think I could forgive myself for not giving both my FH, myself and our families those memories.
As my nanna said to me a while ago: a wedding isn’t just about you.
Which is very true in a way, our families need that too.
My advice to is:
1. Set a date. As soon as I had the date set I physically relaxed. Even if it has to be two years down the track, set it and you’ll feel better.
2. Count down in months and it will go much quicker. I don’t normally advise people to wish their lives away but another trick is saying to yourself as you get closer to the date “The next holiday I will be going on will be my honeymoon” or “This time next year my dress fitting will be happening” and as you get closer “The next christmas I will be married.”
3. Don’t fight your mum. You’ll need her to be the voice of reason…and source of money if she’s helping out. Plus she’s already done this before, I know I’m only worrying about certain parts of my wedding, and she’s reminding me of the little details that I haven’t even thought about that are still really important.
4. Be thankful you have such an amazing FH who is willing to do whatever you want! I am thankful every day for that because I have had guys pressuring me before and being really pushy.
5. Relax and once you start to get into the planning process when your mum comes around enjoy it! You’re only going to get to do this once 😀
Post # 11
sydneybridetobe1991: (reply # 9) —> THIS
Excellent advice… not much more to add.
Except… enjoy the journey… you won’t be back this way again. Engagements can be fun too.
Post # 12
@sydneybridetobe1991: Thank you so much for your kind words and great advise! And you’re right 2 years from now we’ll be getting ready for our first Christmas as a married couple.