Post # 1
My Fiance and I have a very tight budget for our wedding and where I know the wedding is not what is important, marrying your Fiance is, I still want to have that wedding experience because you only get the chance once. We have been engaged since Christmas 2010 and have been slowly planning ever since. During this process, my Fiance has lost his job due to lay offs twice. Our original date was June 2nd and we still had some things to do and then he lost his job. Right now we are aiming for September instead but I just don’t know if it’s going to happen. Sadly, we went through all our savings when he lost his job the first time just trying to get by. We aren’t exactly struggling and he does have a job now, but we don’t have much extra and are doing this week to week. These past few weeks have been hard, and sometimes it feels like the wedding will never happen. I have clinical depression and it has been SO bad these past few weeks. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m sad about the wedding or if I’m just depressed and that in turn is making me more emotional about the wedding. I’m so ready to just give up and go to the JOP and get married. I just feel like if I did, I’d always regret not having the wedding. I have everything planned, we have things, I have lists of things left to do, it’s just a matter of having the money every week. I’m just so sad about it all.
I just really needed someone to vent to.
Post # 3
@MsMadHatter: I am so sorry that you are facing these financial stressors. You might not be able to have the BIG wedding but that doe snot mean that you cannot have a wedding at all or that you have to go to JOP. How about an intimate wedding with like 10 guests that you could have at your house (or a relatives place?). Just do the best you can right now. Then, when you get to a place where you are comfortable financially and still feel that you want that big wedding than renew your vows! How do you feel about this? How does Fiance feel? Why is the big, expensive wedding important to you? I know everything will work out! 😀 Have faith!
Edit: I think that you and Fiance need to seriously think what is most important to you? Getting married soon or having the big wedding and waiting (which could be a long wait)….
Post # 4
I can relate.We found a nice restaurant that has a 500$ minimum and doesn’t charge to use their space.I paid 60$ for a dress on Craigslist and have used an insane amount of coupons at Michaels for items for our candy bar and decorations.We are only having 25 guests.You can still have a nice wedding.Just wanted you to know you are not alone!
Post # 5
*hugs* I’m sorry to hear that things are so tough right now. I know what it’s like to have severe clinical depression, but the plus side is things will eventually look up 🙂 I’m sure you’re putting aside any little bits of money, maybe just whatever’s left at the end of the week or month, and then buy things as you can… it sounds like you don’t have a venue booked or anything so you do have that flexibility as far as a date, but I definitely understand you wanting to be able to just do it! As far as money, have you thought about stuff like food stamps just to open up some of your available income so finances aren’t so stressful?
Post # 6
Thanks ladies. Our wedding is already relatively small and inexpensive. We are having about 85 guests and having our ceremony outside and tented reception on my aunt’s property. We have alot already but we still need to pay our photographer, officiant, get both our bands, alterations on my dress, among some other things. It doesn’t seem like much but when you don’t have much extra it’s rough. It also seems like something just keeps going wrong right as things start to get better. I am determined to marry my Fiance before the year is over. And I’m fine with not having a huge wedding as I’m a laid back kinda girl anyways, but I still just want it to be nice for what it is. I’m sure we will have some kind of wedding, but the unknown is just making me sad and the stress of it all. I’ve had so much trouble sleeping this week and my mind has been going non stop.
It doesn’t help that both my parents told me they’d help me with a few things for the wedding and now that the time has come, they haven’t held true to that but that’s a whole other story. I don’t talk to my dad often and my mom is pretty unenthusiastic about it all. When we went shopping for my wedding dress she told me to hurry up so she could go to her boyfriend’s. The whole experience just hasn’t been very nice at all for me which saddens me so much since I’ll always remember my wedding planning as being hell.
Post # 7
@loving_life: We tried to get food stamps but they told me we didn’t qualify. However, that was while Fiance was at his old job and now he is at one where he makes $3.50 less than he did before. I will probably see if we can qualify now because it’s definitely hard. Fiance is looking for a new job that pays more but in the meantime we’ve been struggling.
I try to keep it in my mind that things will get better, and we’re just going through a rough patch in life. But it just came at the worst possible time.
Post # 8
You could do both. You could do the JOP thing for now and once you get financially stable, have the wedding of your dreams.
Post # 9
@MsMadHatter: Wow. I can relate a lot. FI proposed Christmas Eve 2010 as well. A week later, he was laid off from work. I didn’t fret right away because we had well over a year to plan and I was working. Unfortunately, things haven’t worked out in our favor. Here’s a few recaps of 2011:
- Fiance would get work, but then screwed by the employers. People wouldn’t pay him what they promised or pay him at all.
- Future In-Laws had huge fights and Septemeber was their worse. In result, Father-In-Law kicked us out of the house (which we were to live with them until after the wedding). We had to spend our wedding savings on our move and new apartment.
- Future In-Laws backed out of paying for the wedding, but bought a new boat, windows, etc. That was grand.
- Fiance never found a job until he started his own plumbing business in January. It’s obviously going to take time to get started.
I was so angry for awhile. Very depressed. I almost called off getting married all together. Fi and I finally decided we’d do a courthouse shindig, go out to dinner, then enjoy our cruise. Fortunately, Future Mother-In-Law finally felt bad enough to offer us her house for the ceremony/reception. They will be footing the entire bill. It’s not my dream wedding that I was planning (and that was totally do-able!), but I’ll take it.
Post # 10
@Rouquine: I can sooo relate. As more of a detailed recap, here is what happened with us after he proposed…
March 2011 – He lost his job and we lived off savings as long as we could but sadly had to move out of our apartment. We still owe them $1200 which stresses me out. We moved in with my mother in June and planned to stay while we got back on our feet.
July 2011 – Fiance found a new job that paid more than his old one through a temp agency.
February 2012 – The place he worked for hired him perm through them. We were so happy and ready to start planning to move since he had a stable job.
March 2012 – 3 weeks later, they tell him they screwed up his paper work and have to let him go and that there isn’t shit they can do about it. We called the temp agency to see if they could hire him back on through them and they basically screwed him over too. He got a new job right away but it doesn’t pay much
We currently still live with my mom which she guilt trips us for all the time. Which isn’t fair at all considering growing up, we lived with her mom numerous times because we were poor. She just wants me gone because she’s convinced if I leave and take the cats, her boyfriend will move in (he’s allergic to cats). I can’t wait to get out of here but until Fiance finds a better job, we just can’t afford it. We don’t have half the bills we had at our apartment and we’re just barely getting by. It’s really tough but I’m just trying to remember that things will get better.
Post # 11
@MsMadHatter: It’s a true roller coaster of emotions. I’m sorry you have to experience the same as we did. It was really tough for awhile. I couldn’t accept the fact that it was out of my hands because of another person.
You can PM me at any time with vents, questions, etc.