Sometimes I just want to tell people to shove it… (vent)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LiliKitty:  Yeesh.  YOUR money, YOUR decision.  They can go shove it 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

If they aren’t paying I would drop that conversation altogether!  You are spot on to treat your BP so nicely and with proper etiquette.  I am shocked at his g’ma’s reaction!

Post # 5
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

they’re compliaining about who is invited and they’re not paying? wow.

they are in no place to make comments on who will attend the RD… esp. the grandmother– what in God’s green earth does she care for?

Sheesh!!

Post # 6
Member
3119 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

O boy. This is the kind of stress you just don’t need so close to the wedding. End the conversation all together. What a ridiculous reaction, and how funny that they think they have input in how YOU have chosent to treat your guests.

Post # 7
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@LiliKitty:  I am in the SAME boat. Literally. I am planning the rehearsal dinner with my money. And my girls are married, engaged, and dating for 4 years, and FI’s guys are dating for 5+ years AND most of them are from out of town.

I wouldn’t send an email explaining the difficulties. I would only give them the date and time and that’s IT. 

Post # 8
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah, why do they even care if they’re not paying?  As I was reading it, I thought they were paying so I was thinking, yikes..It’s kinda rude if they won’t let them bring their SO’s but I guess they can make the rules.  Once you said they weren’t paying…? I probably would tell them to shove it. 

Post # 9
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I find it amusing that technically the grandmother shouldn’t even be at the rehersal and she’s the one complaining….

Post # 10
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@BluSptLvR:  Wait I thought it was for close family? Don’t grandparents technically come because they are seated before the mothers?

Post # 11
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@LiliKitty:  Are these ladies tight wads or something? Suggesting you snub the SO’s of your out of town bridal party – I can’t even.  Not to mention their butting in when they’re not even contributing is outrageous. I realize they’re probably just trying to save you money, but if it comes up again, just tell them its decided and that’s that.

But yeah, totally get your frustration here.  Sheesh.

Post # 12
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LiliKitty:  Your paying, so why the hell do they care.

Personally, anyone in the wedding party came the rehearsal and dinner alone. Around me, its not common for the spouses to come to the rehearsal. Thankfully I didn’t even have to touch this issue bc out of the BM and GM, only one of them was married, but he is unhappily married, he didn’t bring his wife to the wedding.

ANd on top of that my MIL paid for it as a gift, so I didn’t want to invite people that didn’t need to be invited.

Post # 14
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@LiliKitty:  Oh wow. Yeah my FILs could care less about any aspect of the wedding. Hopefully they at least have the date in their calendar so they know to show up. 

That’s good that you pointed that out. I had the issue with FI’s parents saying TRADITIONALLY the bride pays for X, TRADITIONALLY, the bride pays for y. TRADITIONALLY, we only pay the rehearsal dinner.

How can you shove these TRADITIONS on me if you’re not even going to follow them yourself?? :O 

Post # 15
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Wow what? That’s crazy of them to complain about ANYTHING when they aren’t giving you a dime. I’d either just ignore their constant comments and do what you want, or else reply something about how it’s your money your choice. And proper etiquette to boot. 

Hahaha I see you did! Nice job. 

Post # 16
Member
3707 posts
Sugar bee

@LiliKitty:  Just tell them if the RD plans do not fulfill their vision, of what a RD should be, they certainly aren’t required to attend.

 

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