- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
Ok people, this may be long but bear with me….
My mother is ruining everything!!!!!!Ok i said it. She is just this TOXIC, self absorbed person that I have no desire to even be around. I know i sound like a huge bitch but seriously….Ok i will try and give you guys the background in the best way I can so that you can see the whole picture.
When I was 17 she kicked me out of the house. I was still in highschool and i had a very part time job working at mcDonalds. She decided that ‘it was time for me to leave’. So I had to move in with my ex boyfriend and his parents. They took care of me until i left their sorry excuse for a son. I had no where else to go, i tried to come back home and she said there was ‘no room for me, they tore the wall out of my room so they could make a bigger bathroom’ So basically i was homeless for a few nights. Thank god i have my best friend who helped me out. I then met up with my now FI. I was 18 and he was..again…living at home with his parents. Thank goodness I already knew him and his family before this whole fiasco and his mother moved me in immediatly. In the time i lived with them(2 years) not ONCE did my mom call his mom to say thank you for taking in my daughter…nothing. So i can understand if FI’s mom has a dislike for my mom.
Anyways, when all this was happening she never helped me out financially or emotionally. I put myself through the rest of highschool, bought my first car, got my drivers licence on my own, and now im getting married. WELL, now she thinks she can be my buddy, my best friend and im just sick of it.
First, FI’s parents have been so generous to us. Gave us a $6000 cheque as a wedding gift, paying for the caterers, his mother is getting us a free videographer/photog, tables & chairs, officiant…not to mention she gave me a very expensive gold chain to wear on my wedding day. When all of this was going on, my mom wasnt doing a thing. I had to ASK her if she could pitch in. She was like” oh yeah, i will buy the flowers and the cake” Ok, not what i expected, but im not going to bite the hand. We went flower shopping and she knew i wanted silk flowers. I ended up getting real flowers because they are $100 cheaper. And the cake thing?? she then admitted that my old grandmother is going to foot the bill on that one. I couldnt believe it. I wouldnt be so shocked if she was having financial problems or couldnt afford it, but my step dad owns a business. They can DEF.afford a little more than $500 flowers.
…..We went shopping for her dress for the mother of the bride. What does she choose?? this tiny little thing that comes up to here and goes down to there with a bejewled clasp right at the cleavage. All blue and ruffly…something that a20 year old would wear. Not to mention that it is the exact same color as my bridesmades dresses. I told her no, absolutly no way. out of a store with something like 2000 dresses and she chooses the ONE that matches my wedding colors. Then there was the issue of walking me down the isle. She wanted to do it! HER! she wanted to give me away…for what…the SECOND time in her life??? I told her no.
Now the latest issue is an email she sent me. It goes something like….”hey I was just thinking that you and your bridesmades could get ready at my place. I have to pick up the flowers So this way i dont have to be ‘racing around everywhere’ and the bridesmades will have their babies here. oh and maybe you can pick up a bottle of champagne” im like EXCUSE ME? so that you dont have to go ‘racing around’ sorry to inconvienience you mother. The champagne thing? what the hell goes through her head when she thinks im going to go to the liquor store on my wedding day…the bride…to get myself a bottle of champagne so that you can have a toast to ME??? are you….serious??? Not to mention that they all smoke in their house and there is no way in HELL im letting my dress or my BODY go into that ashtray on my wedding day. Gahhhh it just seems like she doesnt care what i want. Its all about what would be easier to her and im tired of it.
Im sorry for the super long post, but i just need to get my feelings out there. Has anyone else been in a situation like this …or similar? i would just love to know how you cope with all this….