Post # 1
Without getting into the gory details, sometimes I read things on here from other ladies that I can relate to, or that strikes a nerve in me & reignites old fears, insecurities or other issues from the past. Well, me being me & all, I sit & ponder on these things, and depending on the topic I might get all worked up about something to where it ultimately causes problems between me & the hubby.
Just yesterday, I happened to read something on here that I could relate to & then the wheels started spinning & by the time I got home from work, I was not in the best mood. I know it sounds awful, but I brought it up to hubby and things spiralled downhill from there. We ended up fighting for 3 hours straight.
It was horrible.
Does anyone else do this?
Post # 3
*bump* sorry, but really curious….
Post # 4
oh that’s terrible okqueenbee and i’m sorry you ended up arguing for 3 hours! yeesh. i hope your argument was not sparked by the fact that you are just on this site/message boards. i think i have been feeling quite empowered by the hive and it’s given me the cajones to start speaking up for myself. the BF doesn’t know i’m on here at all, and i don’t bring our relationship stuff up in the context of something i’ve read or talked about on here. i think if the hive brings up issues that relate to you and your current situation, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to talk about those issues with your hubby. however, i would not use the hive by name as a yardstick for my own relationship because i, too, would probably end up starting something i wouldn’t know how to fully deal with. i think it’s a fine line, and it’s great to ask for and offer advice to others and to act on some of the advice you’ve received. but i would err on the side of being cautious about bringing up specific things you read about here and only discuss things that are relevant to you and your relationship. i hope you two were able to patch things up and have a wonderful New Years celebration depsite it!
Post # 5
I’m sorry that happens. I understand that though. I always bring stuff up to FI about things on here. Luckily they haven’t started any fights yet *knock on wood!*
Post # 6
@ Jaxx – thank you for your reply. I agree with you totally on trying not to compare other bees relationships with my own, but unfortunately sometimes that happens. My hubby is much better at compartmentalizing than I am & so he doesn’t understand why it’s so easy for me to compare myself to other people & our relationship to others.
No, we did not fight about the fact that I was or am on Weddingbee.. He knows I get on here & that I enjoy it & he fully supports it. I did make the mistake of bringing up something from another bees post that was along the same lines of how I feel sometimes & that’s when it turned sour. I’ll take this opportunity to say that I am world’s BEST at digging up hatchets that are supposed to be buried. I am guilty of that, and it’s not a good quality, but sometimes issues that should have been long resolved worm their way back into my brain & I just lose it 🙁 Soo….that’s what happened.
Anyways, thanks again for your support & response. I really appreciate being able to talk to other ladies on here.
Post # 7
I can certainly relate to this. It’s not just limited to Weddingbee, but really a lot of things I will read online about relationships or marriage. In the end, I would rather argue about something because we both feel passionately, than not discuss important issues that are pressing on my mind. But I am a very “hash it out” person.
Post # 8
I definately think that if you read too much of anything about weddings and relationships, your brain and emotions can take over and make you upset. I don’t think it’s entirely uncommon. You just have to remember that when you get overwhelmed with information here, it’s time to take a break and go hug your FI and remember why you are marrying him in the first place!
Don’t let other posters’ issues get you down! Instead, use your experience to help those bees resolve their own questions. That’s what the boards are all about! Sorry to hear you were fighting though, that sucks.
Post # 9
I agree with whitesonnet. Sometimes I’ll read something about marriage being awful and hard work and non-rewarding, blah blah blah and I’ll tell FH that “I read this article…” and he won’t let me finish. He always just reminds me that we’re not a statistic and we’re our own special and unique relationship and just because something happened to someone else doesn’t mean that it will or won’t happen to us and that we love each other. And then usually he doesn’t let me look at wedding stuff for a few hours to clear my head.
I’m sorry you argued with your FH about something you read. Maybe you need to tell him that you related to things that you read on the internet and sometimes you need him to support that? I really don’t know what to say but *e-hug*.