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This is so confusing..
BF and i have been having more discussions on the wedding and all..so he tells me he will get me my ring but it will not until march..so fastforward to 1.1.10..we were talking about planning and dates..so we have come up with a wedding date! 11.6.10! That is 11 months away! So i dont know now..are we engaged..even though he did ot get on his knee and ask me bluntly "will you marry me?" and give me a ring? I dont get it! I feel silly doing all this planning and dress hunting and i dont even have the ring..i feel like people are looking at my hand and wondering if i am nuts or something..ugh..i know i should not have to worry about what other people think but ehhh..i cannot help it...he has given me the green light to get quotes from vendors and look at dresses and even purchase one if i like it! But i still feel funny..It does feel good to have a date although it could change to late summer. anybody else feel the same?
NYE we went to my bf's friend's house and stayed over..the next day his wife and i went to David's Bridal and looked at some dresses..nothing to stay on my mind and make my heart race! So yesterday there is one local shop here and i figured i would give it a shot..well turns out the ownder's mom is a doctor where i work. Anyhow..the doc and i picked some dresses to try on and off i went..she then came in and brought one from Winnie Couture...she thought it would look great on me...so i figured why not try it on? Well..i frigging love this dress!!!! and when she told me the price i about fell out! I can get it for 499!!! Honestly i could not find anything wrong with it..I told bf about it and he said if i loved it so much to just buy it! well....I am seriously considering but then i come back to the thought of being silly because i do not have my ring! I am so stupid sometimes i cant stand it..haha! Anyways..what do ya'll think? Of the situation and the dress..because you know im going to have to post a picture!
happy.JPG (100 KB, 82 downloads) 2 years old dressback.JPG (94.8 KB, 70 downloads) 2 years old thedress.jpg (118.2 KB, 81 downloads) 2 years old
and now that i look at the pics here i can see me happy..i felt so pretty, glamourus and sexy in that dress i literally had it on for ever! I did not want to take it..i still need to lose some weight and tone up my arms and tummy and have the top taken in..i just love this dress!
The dress is amazing! I absolutely love it. And it looks stunning on you. For $499 I would buy it right now because I'm sure you could sell it for that amount if you had to.
As for the situation with your BF/FI ... is he maybe waiting to save enough for the ring? or to plan th eperfect proposal (seems less and less likely now that you know it's coming, so I would say it's the money?) I would just have a heart-to-heart with him. As you embark in wedding planning you will and should have many heart-to-hearts, and this is as important as it gets! Make sure you communicate you are uncertain and uncomfortable with the current arrangement, and that you wouldn't care if he gave you a $10 ring (I'm putting that out there, but you know, modify as it fits you) but that you want the actual proposal before you get too far into this stuff!
At some point you'll have to talk costs anyhow -- who's paying for what etc. You can't really book vendors without that, so it's better to get this out of the way asap. Good luck! and the dress really is amazing! I love it.
Wow, that dress is seriously gorgeous on you. And you look so happy in it!
Ok, so what I think you have here is a committed relationship, basically a promise to get engaged and married without a promise ring. I think it's awesome that your BF has given you "the green light" as you say to get quotes from vendors and to buy a dress if you want. I think it sounds like he really is committed to you but just hasn't had the chance to buy you a ring yet but has said that it's coming.
So I think you're promised to get engaged but not engaged per say. I'm sure other Bees will think differently :) However, I also think it's well worth asking your SO to see what he thinks, because he might think you're engaged without him having to say "Will you?" - and I think it'll go a long way to easing your mind if you know what he thinks :)
The dress is stunning!
We got engaged and then started ring shopping together, and I bought my dress after we'd selected my ring, but before it was ready to be picked up. People choose to get engaged different ways. My feeling is that if you and your boyfriend have agreed to get married and set a date, you're engaged. But if you're not sure, there's really only one person who can help you clarify that. Talk to your bf.
Thank you girls for the replies..i really do love that dress!
He mentioned that he had his money in a CD and that it will not come out until march..he does not want his parents to give him the money even though they offered..he mentioned a diamond his aunt has and he sounded like he really liked it because it was very unique..his mom and i also went to look at rings and such, i know he will not do the proposal on any special date because he feels like i will see it coming..so i guess he will pop it out at any moment (probably when i am in sweats and crazy frizzy hair).
We are in a very committed relationship and we have a 2 year old daughter i just refused to marry him 2 years ago just because i was pregnant. Over the last 2 years we have been through some ups and downs and honestly could not live without each other. Thank you all for the feedback..i know i am probably just being dumb when he has clearly given me he ok..
That dress is so beautiful on you! I think that you are engaged in the most important sense of the world - you've agreed to get married! But, are you engaged in the EEEEEEEEEEEH sense? Talk to him! It might just be an issue of getting the ring?
Dress- beautiful and a TOTAL bargin! WOW! And as for your Beau, he does have the money in a CD and he's probably very proud of that, but money in CDs can't just be taken out without penalty- so he's being a wise man and just waiting it out. Can't wait until you post your ring in March!!! :o)
That dress is gorgeous on you!
To me it sounds like you are engaged to be engaged. I would make sure that your boyfriend understands that you need a while to plan the wedding, so that he understands you need more than just a month or two to plan an entire wedding. That should let him know that he needs to make things official.
You probably can't start to really plan the majority of things until you are engaged. You are going to have to decide on a budget and if your families are going to pay for part of the wedding or if you are going to pay it all yourself.
... are we twins? Seriously. MY boyfriend has the engagement ring money in a CD that doesn't mature til February and we want to get married in late July/ early August. Get the dress, Just do it! I wish I had that kind of option!
My FI and I were just like you! we started planning and had a date and everything, but we weren't engaged. we weren't officially engaged until he gave me ring.
I had a similar situtation with my FI who I have been with for 5 years (we've lived together for almost 4 of those years). The ring he was having made was taking longer than expected (He looked for almost two years before deciding on the ring I now have on my finger!) and he knew that I wanted to use the last part of my summer vacation (I'm a teacher) to get a lot of the wedding planning done and that since we wanted to get married the following summer, we wanted to make sure that reception locations were not booked, so he had the "chat" with my dad in August and gave me the green light to start planning. One week later, my mom and I had the date, ceremony and reception locations all set! So, as MissAsB said, "you are engaged to be engaged." Congratulations! Eventhough I had started most of the major planning, I did wait until my FI officially proposed and I had the ring on my finger to start trying on dresses because I wanted to save something special for when I was engaged. You've found a gorgeous dress though, so I say go for it!
You have made the decision to get married together - which is smart because it is a decision that a couple should make together! And so in my book you are technically engaged to be married.
However, I was in the exact same position and didn't consider myself engaged until the official proposal with the ring (there is marketing and social pressures for you ;-))
We also picked our date and booked multiple vendors before the official proposal and yes it is weird but at the same time the marriage is what matters not a ring on your finger so go for it when it comes to planning and the ring and the official proposal will come!
Your dress looks GORGEOUS on you and you are so happy in it - you can't pass up the perfect dress for 499!
Gorgeous dress! You look very happy and glamorous in it.
I would suggest talking to your BF/FI and tell him that you are a tad confused....Ask him what he thinks you guys are. I would hate to start planning a wedding if he wasn't on board at this time.
Good luck!
My husband and I were engaged in November and we didn't have a ring until February. I didn't feel any less engaged and it didn't stop me from planning! The ring was just the icing for me!
Thank you all! I do feel better knowing some of you were in that position..our families know we will marry..we are even planning on going to speak with the preacher soon. His dad really wants us to and i agree. Im definitely a planner and i know i will need more than just a few months. He understands that and i think thats why he has let me look around. I guess i will just keep looking and asking for quotes and posting ideas on here!
I believe you are indeed engaged, but still have a discussion with him solidifying this 100 percent.
I believe you can be engaged without the ring, but I'd want to know his committment is totally solid.
Has your FI made an announcement to family and friends of your engagement?
I was one who planned before engagement but stopped at dress buying or putting any real $$ down on anything until it was 100 percent confirmed. Just giving you my honest thoughts here.
Get the dress! Now! Its just STUNNING on you! OMG! Love your dress! And the ring? Eh. This may sound crazy, but screw it. Start planning the wedding and let the ring and proposal come when they come. If you are super uncomfortable without one, go to a big box store and buy a fake for $20 or use another pretty ring you already own. I was engaged for about 8 months before I got my ring! In that time I simply wore a ring my FI had gotten me for my birthday before we got engaged. Your FI may just have the money tied up somewhere (CD, bonds, etc) and he can't use it right now OR he could be saving for it still (that was our hold up) OR he could be custom ordering you a ring, which can take a long long time from what I hear!
congrats!
pretttty dress!
My friend got engaged llike that.. they planned a day and a month after telling me she was engaged she got a ring and a week after that she announced formally that they were engaged and the day of the wedding. Yay 4 U!!
I agree w/ Bellenga - you could ask him if you two are indeed engaged, as in, ready to go public and tell your families and friends and all. If you are engaged (just w/o a ring at the moment) - they I'd say you are fine to start planning if that's what you want. But if you don't both consider yourselves engaged, you may want to hold off on official planning if you feel weird about marching forward. If you want a Nov. wedding, I think you could still order your dress in March/April and get it in plenty of time.
That dress is amazing!!!!
From what the situation sounds like, he's still planning the engagement. But I say go ahead and plan! You both know when he wants to do it, so get some of the big stuff outta the way!
Beautiful dress! I would say you're not engaged yet. Does he call you his fiancee? It may sound funny, but that's how I would be able to tell. However, it's clear you will be soon, and he's giving you the go-ahead to buy the dress, so I would if I were you! Best wishes :)
LOVE the dress. Honestly the "are we engaged" question will probably be better posed to your guy than to us :) I mean imo if you are definitely getting married, you have a date, etc... you're engaged. Ring =/ engagement. But because he never really asked you... maybe he's planning on it? I would maybe just ask him how he feels about you starting to plan the wedding. Congrats!
Just wanna chime in and say that dress is crazy awesome on you! First it was pretty, then i saw the back and it was just a double wow. I'd make sure it was 100% official before buying the dress though, with or without the ring.
If your man says buy the dress, then buy the dress. I got my dress before the ring, and Mr. Banana was fine with it.
You could ask your guy if it's okay for you to wear a fake ring whenever you meet with vendors, etc. so that you don't feel funny. You could make a silly thing out of it and have him fake propose and say "will you let me propose to you?" or "when I ask you later to marry me will you say yes?" or "do you accept this date as our wedding date?"
Someone mentioned if he calls you his fiance then it's pretty much official. I would like to add to that---it would count if he tells other people. But as some folks said, the best way to find out is to ask him.
Wow, that dress is stunning! And what a great price! You look beautiful and so happy. A ring is not the only thing that means you're engaged, so I would definitely talk with your bf to see where you stand. It sounds like your relationship is headed towards engagement, but I think you should be sure of your current status before you buy the dress.
LOVE THAT DRESS!! the post made me grin because you absolutely glow in this dress... it sounds like you are engaged, but just check with him to make sure :D
I was a ringless fiancee for about 3 months... His proposal wasn't clear cut and could have been confusing, but we called his parents to tell them a week or so after the decision was made, and that's when it became really real to me :)
Congrats and great dress!
WOW! You look absolutely stunning in that dress - seriously, it looks like it was made for you!
First of all, LOVE THE DRESS. Get it. Even if this date you two picked doesn't work out, you are clearly committed to your partner and will get married at some point... and when that happens, wear that dress!
Secondly, I was in the same position as you. We were on the same page as far as marriage plans and we set a date together, but he was saving up for the ring. I knew it wouldn't come until August, but I started planning the wedding in April. Still, I didn't tell anyone but our close family and friends because I wanted to have an official proposal. He surprised me big time with a beautiful ring in August and it was perfect!
I know its a kind of tough position to be in, because you feel halfway, and you don't want to be presumptuous, but all that matters is if the two of you feel good about what you are doing. My FI and I don't regret "pre-planning" at all - it has allowed us to enjoy our 10 month engagement without feeling rushed.
Wow! Girlfriend you are wearing the heck out of the gown. You look amazing! I'm so afraid to purchase any wedding related item prior to having the ring. It's due to a close friend's experience of pre-planning and spending money and buying wedding items prior to the ring and then them ending the relationship. I feel as if I might jinx myself. To each their own though. If you like the gown and it is only going to save you money and you know for sure you'll get married, go for it! Beautiful gown!!!
heehee - it sounds like you are, but if you're like me, you want to know for sure! when my man and i got engaged, he used a temporary ring (on vacation in Jamaica) but when we eventually purchased the diamond ring, he got on one knee and made it officially-official, like an exclamation mark ! So go on with your planning and enjoy getting engaged twice :-)
Wow, you look great in the dress and so, so happy! I understand where you are coming from, it is hard to REALLY feel engaged without the ring because that is how we are used to looking at an engagement. Only you know if the commitment is really there and if it is I would say you are safe to continue planning with or without a ring. Congrats!
wow that dress is soo stunning on you!! I say you are in one tricky situation, but if it looks like the proposal is def coming and you have already had the go ahead you should snag up that dress it is too much of a great deal to pass on!!
One good thing about getting the dress now is you're spreading out some of the expenses instead of having them all pile up. My original date was for this April, but has been pushed back. I got my dress last year, and I kinda like it that one of the major purchases was taken care of in 2009.
On a side note, I have purchased wedding gowns before I even met Mr. Banana, never intending to use them for a wedding. I've gotten ones at thrift shops, consignment shops and ebay to use as costumes and evening gowns.
could he get a stand in ring? mine was cheap and fake (a decent fake but sterling and glass not like cz) and I wore it because the ring was on back order and he wanted to propose on a trip to nyc. i don't think people noticed it was fake even at first!
Hey all! First off i want to thank you all with the compliments..i've gained weight after having the baby and i do not feel as good about my body after that..im working on it now though:)
Ok..so we had a sit down talk and i just straight out asked him and his stance on it is..we are not officially engaged, in his words he feels i deserve a surprise and romantic proposal but he knows that we will need some time. He is waiting on his CD to mature and then he is getting my ring! He still wants to do it the old fashioned way, he said he felt like it was a good deal on the dress and if i really love it then go ahead and get it because he is not going anywhere :D...
He said he feels i deserve the proposal because we did get pregnant when were were in college and have not experienced a whole lot that is special to just the 2 of us..he wants it to be a surprise...i told him how i felt about talking to vendors now and all that but he reassured me nobody is thinking of it that way and i could just wear a fake ring. The we sat in bed and started a guest list! So i guess i will be making small plans..or at least getting some quotes from vendors and such. Thank ya'll for the replies!
elliemae, reading that made me smile! You and your FI seem very happy and I am very excited for you to have the proposal and wedding of your dreams!
GIRL! we are in the exact situation right now. it's scares me to think that i may be jinxing things by planning everything. there is a dress i am TOTALLY in love with (almost as much as my guy) but I'm nervous to even try it on without having the ring! I know he isn't going anywhere but it still makes me anxious. My date is set just 7 days before yours. :)
I am so glad I stumbled upon this, because it really helped to calm my nerves. Good luck to you, my dear!
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