Soon to be engaged: How to plan an aneurysm-free wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
2568 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Elope.  Seriously.  Best decision we ever made. 🙂


Post # 4
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Restaurant

Do you think your family might help pay for the wedding once you get engaged?  I didn’t think my parents would be able to help much, but they ended up giving us about 10K, which really helped us to have the traditional wedding everyone wanted.

I think the best advice I can give you is to decide what kind of wedding you want with your fiance BEFORE discussing it with anyone else.  If you think you might have trouble with the guest list, make a 100 person list and STICK TO IT.  It’s easier to tell people “no” at first and then change your mind, than to say, “I don’t know…maybe…” and then have to take it back.  Draw your lines in the sand early.

Post # 5
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

soon2bhitched:  The shock of the cost of wedding has been experienced by a lot of people, myself included. Weddings are expensive everywhere you go too!

Keep shopping around and who knows, you might cave. I did.

Post # 6
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Weddings are so expensive and so easy to get out of control!  I did a budget and we’re pretty much sticking to it although flowers were more than I anticipated.  I was planning to do my own decorations but caved on a decorator. Speak to your SO when you get engaged and talk about the kind of wedding you want.  Do you want just yourselves?  immediate family (ie parents, siblings, maybe a close friend or two)? or family and friends?  Doing research into prices is good for when you do your budget. Know where you want to spend and what you want to DIY.  We’re doing our own music (FI worked in radio for 20 years), invitation graphic design and ceremony decor.  I’m also planning on knitting mittens for the wedding party as favours.

Post # 7
5367 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

soon2bhitched:  I feel your pain ~ I live in NJ also! Honestly, if our parents werent paying for our wedding, I have no idea what we would have done. Eloped probably! 

My best advice is… if the price seems too high…check other vendors! I live near Princeton and the florists there were quoting me absolutely ridiculous prices. I went about 20 minutes south to the Bordetown area and found an awesome florist who will do everything for 1/2 the price the florists in Princeton were quoting me for. So definitely shop around!

There are some cheaper venues – just depends on what you want…. you just have to do your research! Also, if you live on the PA border, search for vendors in PA also! 

Post # 8
1264 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would never, ever depend on your guests’ money…but guests give money.  It truly depends on your social circle/culture/age, but if you spend 20,000$ on a 200 person wedding you could easily recoup 10,000$ in cash and gift cards. I am a huge advocate for smaller, simpler weddings that the couple can afford but if you decide to splurge you will get some money back.     

Post # 9
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

soon2bhitched: I wouldn’t worry about it too much until you get engaged. Your boyfriend will probably have his own views on what kind of wedding he wants, so no sense stressing yourself out until you are both on the same page.

Post # 10
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

The Northeast is pretty much the most expensive area to get married in.  If you want a traditional wedding without doing everything DIY, expect to spend around $30,000. It’s just the reality of what things cost here. I freaked out at first, too.

I think you should choose the top 5 things that are most important to you about the wedding and the 5 things that are least important, and go from there. If you have a budget, stick to it!  Cut people, have only wine and beer instead of a full open bar, look into non-traditional ceremony spaces, considering doing a courthouse ceremony with a casual dinner after to celebrate, etc.  

Post # 11
1911 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

None of my friends in NJ got away with a wedding under $30k…. Actually to be honest, under $40k.  Not to say it isn’t possible but I think the other thing that happens when we build budgets, is that we really don’t account for everything, including the things we decide are “must have quality” (I thought I would do pretty well at being a budget bride, until I realized I DID want a really, really good photographer and really good food, etc).   My suggestion would be consider stretching your area to PA, or CT.  I hear you can get away with more for less there than say, Northern NJ.

Post # 12
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with Andthepupmakes3.  The only weddings I’ve been to here in NJ that cost less than $35-40k were either very small or in a venue that was cheap, and looked cheap.  I suggest having a destination wedding if you don’t want to spend a big chunk of money.  That is the direction I would go if my parents weren’t paying for the majority of my wedding.

Post # 13
117 posts
Blushing bee

soon2bhitched:  I think we all feel your pain. Living in Southern California is ridiculous when it comes to the price of a wedding. I cannot believe the amount of money we’re shoveling out for our small (35-50 people) wedding. Every day I’m closer and closer to canceling and eloping.  

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