Post # 1
my fiance and i are getting married in TWO weeks and i cant wait. weve been friends for 10 yrs and dated for 2, prior to getting engaged.
shortly after we marry, my then husband will leave for bootcamp. my role as militiary wife will then begin. I am not sure where to get information on this new process.
are their blogs for wives that are new to military/navy life? or blogs from real women who have gone through this process….??
ive looked at a few website and most dont deal directly with someone who has no clue what to expect….
Post # 3
I’m not sure of information available for enlisted guys’ spouses. My husband was an officer (just got out in november) and he went to his training camp for 4 months. Now they added another one to that. basically they stayed on base in a hotel type situation but if you were married your spouse could come along. it woulda been so boring though–they’re gone all day. I can pretty much give you my situation and my friend’s situation but they were pretty atypical as we both didn’t live with our guys for the terms of their service. Mine was stationed in ga for 4 years and got deployed for 15 months during that time frame and I stayed here in st louis.
During boot camp you probably won’t hear from him much–do you have something to do in the meantime? work? school? something? I think it’s a 12 or 16 week gig? I can’t remember. But they don’t get a lot of freedom basically. after boot camp, he’ll receive a permanent assignment (unless he gets into a special training school, then he’ll go there first) and off you two will go to whatever base it is! Depending on the unit he transfers to, he could be looking at a deployment any time soon or in a year, depending on the unit’s schedule. You can live on base or off base, whatever works and whatever’s available.
Just don’t expect to know what’s going on anytime soon–that’ll come after your FI goes through boot camp and gets ranked against everyone else and they make their “where i want to be stationed” lists and get assigned their type of unit–engineering, infantry, etc.
Post # 4
I will recommend a website but with a heavy warning. the site is http://www.cinchouse.com
I’ll say that for almost a year I got good advice and have met many women in my area/base but just recently there has been a lot of drama on the boards. So my warning is to be careful not to get too caught up in it. The website was sprung from a book called Married to the Military by Meredith Leyva (I think that’s her name, I always forget the spelling of the last name) I picked it up at Barnes and Noble the cover is pink and purple digital camoflauge. The book is really insightful and helps you figure out things like reading the LES (leave and earning statement, basically his pay stub), learning about BAH/BAS/FSP (housing allowances/food allowances/family separation pay) and even goes as far as to give examples about what to wear to different functions in the military (change of command/graduation/balls). All in all a good resource book, the website is more of a community and you can go in to all the different forums and post threads with questions you have!
Also, go to http://www.militaryonesource.com and start a profile, you can get free books every year and they have newsletters you can sign up to receive through them! Since your FI will be just going in to the military that means you will have to move soon which is called a PCS (Permanent Change of Station) there are tons of helpful books out there and you can get a lot of them through the above link. The limit is 10 books per year (free shipping too!)
Good luck and PM me if you need anything, FI is navy, and deployed so I know allll about this stuff because I’m his Power of Attorney. Which brings me to this, get set up in DEERS immediately, this will allow you to start your healthcare/insurance, allow you on base without your FI and you’ll be notified if something happens to you FI. and get a Power of Attorney so you have access to things like bank accounts etc.
Ok, I’m rambling on now…hope I helped a little!
Post # 5
I don’t know of any really great military blogs (most are personal) but if you have any questions feel free to ask me (or anyone else who offers). My sister went through USMC bootcamp and my husband went through Naval OCS so deployments are our thing 🙂 I suggest you invest in a few books, the first being Military benfits for dummies. It’s important you understand what your benefits are and the book lays it all out in a simple manner. One thing my husband said while he attending OCS was he appreciated I knew what to expect financially so he didn’t have to worry about it . I second the cinc house recommendation. A lot of the ladies are really helpful on the board. I reccomend avoiding thenest.com’s military board.
As for bootcamp, depending on what kind of guy he is you may hear from him by letter a few times a week to none. While my sister was in bootcamp she wrote to me 1-3 times a week- but it will vary. While he’s in bootcamp he’ll be paid as an E-1 and you will recieve Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) based on your husband’s home of record. You can figure out how much BAH will be here: http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/perdiem/bah.html you will probably also recieve 250/month family separation pay (FSA). Don’t expect him to get paid right away, sometimes it takes awhile. And like someone else said, you’ll need to enroll in DEERS. You’re not going to be able to do that until you’re entered in the system and he sends you a DDsomething something form. When he leaves for bootcamp make sure he takes your marriage certificate and a notarized or orginal copy of your drivers license, birth certificate, and social security card.
The experience of bootcamp itself can be difficult. Hardest period is the first few weeks- you won’t be in contact with him very much as this is the militarization period (In USMC bootcamp and Navy OCS the break them down during this period). After he can write and call a little more regularily it gets easier. Have a plan- i.e. what you’re going to do while he’s gone (work, go to school, hobby..)
Lastly, don’t plan on anything. The military is unpredictable 🙂 Go with the flow and enjoy the ride.
Post # 6
wow ladies. thanks so much. i checked out militaryonesource.com; i like what i found.
the boy leaves for basic july 27th…we get married may 1st…..then i wont see him for im being told 9 weeks.
then he has told me that if his first schooling is less than 18 weeks, then i will not be allowed to join him. his first schooling might be in mississippi, while i stay in PA.
im guessing right now that from 07-27 till christmas, i wont really see him much.
hopefully after that, i will be able to join him.
Post # 7
Let me know if you have any Q’s!
FI and I met in the NAVY (enlisted), I was in for 6 and got out due to injury, FI is still in at 10yrs now! so been in and dealt with it, and now out and still delaing with it! I see it from both sides now so let me know!
What is he going in as (what rate?)