Post # 1
So, this is weird, but my husband, who just announced after 9 1/2 months of marriage that he wanted to divorce me, just took my engagement and wedding rings out of our joint safety deposit box, where I had left them because we were traveling internationally for two weeks. He told me, when I asked him why he had taken them, that they were my property but he wanted to keep them until a lawyer was present for him to hand them over.
I cannot imagine any scenario in whch this makes sense unless he is trying to trade my (very nice) diamond for a cheaper stone.
Am I missing something? Is there a benign explanation that makes sense? I am ususally really good at giving people the benefit of the doubt, I’m just not seeing any positive explanation for this.
(I have told my lawyer what happened. I will demand an appraisal of the ring, once it reappears, in order to ensure that he has not switched out the stone.)
Post # 3
@devastatedbride: Wow, I hope he didn’t swap out the stone. I know that in my state, as soon as DH and I were married, they became my property (he actually told me that. I had no idea! I thought they were mine when he gave them to me lol). Maybe he’s just being vengeful and wanting to make things difficult? I read your other post and it sounds like that may be an explanation for some of his actions.
Post # 4
We have a prenup that lists the engagement ring as my sole property, so I just… don’t understand why the hell he thinks he can hold the ring.
Post # 5
@devastatedbride: Oh, I see. Well, then he should have to hand them over ASAP!
Post # 6
@devastatedbride: Whwn my ex left me (he had began a relationship with a co-worker) I took his rings (he had 2) because I did not think he deserved them and I wanted to sell them. So really my guess is eaither he is afraid you will sell them and get the total value of the rings and he wants a lawyer to tell him who deserves the cash for them. Did he pay for them? Even if he did, they were a gift to you and I don’t think anyone would say that they belong to him.
Post # 7
Well I guess if you have a prenup stating that it is yours there are no further arguments. I agree get the stone checked once they reappear, his actions do not make sense
Post # 8
Once you are married, your rings are legally your property to keep. They do not belong to him, even if he paid for them. However, I would just follow your lawyer’s advice because you don’t want things to get any more complicated.
Post # 9
Wow. That’s horrible. I’d ask your lawyer to draft a letter requesting them back. At least have the lawyer hold them and get them appraised to ensure he didnt switch out the stones.
Post # 10
Has he finished paying for them? I am wondering if he took them to return and possibly get any money back…or at least not have to pay on them any more.
I ask because my ex FI did the very same thing. He snuck into my room when I was moving out and took the ring from my purse and hid it.
Post # 11
Can I please go and punch your husband? Wherever he is, he seriously deserves a smack upside the head.
I’m so, so sorry you’re dealing with his stupidness. 🙁
Post # 12
Id be calling the police and reporting the theft.
Post # 13
Honey, it is *not* ok that he took your rings. You need to have your lawyer take immediate action on that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, you do not deserve this. Nor do you deserve to be with someone who isn’t truthful with you, who isn’t committed to building a life with you, and who can carry on for months living what is essentially a lie. You DO deserve pretty much the complete opposite of that.
I know it’s really hard right now, but you get through this. And you will go on to build a beautiful, worthwhile life full of happiness and people who love you dearly. Try to remember that in the coming days and months.
Also, throughout all of this, please do stand up for yourself. You DO NOT have to let him bully you around, take your rings, bug you to move out of YOUR home, or any other silly BS he comes up every few days.
Post # 14
I think it depends entirely on the laws of the state you live in. Sometimes even a prenup can be voided due to certain laws. In some places the rings are considered a gift, in other places they are considered the givers property. Also in cases of infidelity a judge/laws can determine who gets the rings.
I would say his lawyers have told him to get the rings and keep them until it is settled in the courts. They may have also told him to get them valued and authenticated in case you switched the diamonds.
Sorry you are going through this but I would suggest getting a good lawyer and brace yourself for a nasty divorce.
Post # 15
It sounds to me like he wants to have proof that he gave you the rings…he seems to think you are going to take the rings, hide them, and claim that he never gave them to you and demand that he reimburse you for the rings. Which sounds nuts even as I type it out. That’s what it sounds like to me though.
Post # 16
I don’t know how amicable this divorce is (or how amicable you want it to be), but I’d definitely report it as a theft because that’s exactly what this is. It’s not up for debate as to who own the rings. They are yours as stipulated in the prenup.