Post # 1
I just finished the first episode of TLC’s ‘Sister Wives’. I first want to say that I usually am I very open person to others lifestyles, beliefs and traditions but for some reason I am about in tears right now after watching this episode. (It very well could be my raging preggo hormones!) But watching those 4 woman share 1 man just really saddend me. I love my husband so much that just the thought of him with another woman is heartbreaking! At the same time though, I realize I feel this way because of my up own upbringing, beliefs and teachings so I’m trying to be open. I’m really wondering what other ladies take on this show may be.
Did you see where one of the wives was incredibly hurt over the fact that Kody sealed the engagement with another wife with a kiss?? Do you think this might have been some sort of jealousy or another issue??
I must admit that their kids seemed very well behaved and respectful. Thats something that you don’t see too often anymore. Do you think their parents beliefs have any effect on that? They seem to be doing a good job on raising kids. So does that mean that raising children in a Polygamist (Sorry for spelling!) family has a minimal effect on how a child will behave?
We are finally getting to a point in America where Gay marriges/relationships and racial differences are becoming more and more accepted. Although I know we still have a long way to go. Do you think that in 50 years from now this will be looked at the same? Do you think one day this will be accepted mainstream?
Could you accept your husband or SO being with you and someone else?
Oh I’m so curious on others perspectives!
Post # 3
I watched just a couple of minutes of the show, and I am totally against it. To each their own, but the thought of having to share my husband is enough to make me crazy. I could not imagine that lifestyle, but I did watch long enough to see Christine (the 3rd wife) perspective on it and she said she has known her whole life she woudl be involved in plural marraige, and only wanted to be the 3rd wife. I found this interesting, and the fact that she raises all 12 (!) kids, even though only a couple are hers, cuz the other wives work (that’s what I got out of it at least). She thinks of them all as her kids, I wonder how and if they agree on raising all the kids the same, and if they are ok with the other moms doing things different ways?
Post # 4
I haven’t seen the show, but have watched Big Love and read a lot about this version of the LDS life. I just can’t get behind this lifestyle. I would be okay with it if the women were allowed to share men, too, or even share each other. But there is a strange, inherent power imbalance at work here that gives me the heebie-jeebies as a feminist. I’m okay with polyamory – not for me, but if it works for others, that’s fine! – but this is NOT that. This is a guy having loads of kids but only one legal wife – I imagine the other wives get some sort of $$ assistance from the government, because they don’t have to list him as their husband (at least before TLC presumably started footing part of the bill). It’s just strange all around to me. Anyone have more information or personal experience with this kind of household?
Post # 5
@MrsSl82be: Most of the kids go to school so she doesnt stay home with all 12 all day.
@noodlesploosh: The polygamists on Sister Wives are not part of LDS. It’s some other religion. Can’t remember.
All of the wives were either brought up in this lifestyle or saw it regularly so they obviously dont think it’s crazy. They grew up seeing they’re dads with multiple wives so they’re use to it. All of us, on the other hand, didnt grow up with that so of course we think its crazy! So no, I would definately not accept my FH being with other women. because its not MY religion. I think the show is interesting. I watched it out of pure curiosity. I’m a “to each their own” vote about this show.
Post # 6
one airing of the show and they are already being investigated…on the news this morning.
Post # 7
I’m sorry, I’ve just got to say it: Yuck! Usually I’m a “to each her own” kind of girl, but this is ridiculous. I haven’t watched it, and I don’t plan on it, but the system is super-patriarchal and sexist. And kinda gross.
Post # 8
I also watched the show, and I am from Utah. Just a couple hours south of where the show is filmed. I actually live about an hour from Colorado City, which is considered to the polygamy capital. Warren Jeffs (the prophet, church leader) of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-day Saints. (The fundamentalist sect of the Mormon church) lived there until he was arrested on charges of rape and other things because of his polygamous practices. I know a lot of people who are involved in a polygamous lifestyle, and I grew up with it always being in the shadows of the culture I grew up in. I, myself, am not religious however. But even growing up in it, I still can’t imagine the lifestyle. I am also a pretty jealous person, but I honestly don’t see the reasoning behind polygamy.
Back when the LDS church was first founded, many men and women turned to polygamy in situations when a woman’s husband had died leaving her with many children to raise herself. The church believed that a man’s place is to take care of a woman, so they encouraged men who were able to take on more than one wife to help her financially and to be a father for her children. After the church became established in Utah, and people prospered, there was no reason for polygamy anymore so the church renounced its practices.
However, the fundamentalist branch broke off and still practicies it regularly. I went to college with a girl whose parents are polygamists and she married one herself. She is his first wife however, and they have yet to take on more, but they are planning on it.
I talked with her about it quite a bit, and I still don’t see the reasoning behind it. But I guess if you grow up with the lifestyle, you learn by example and most kids tend to follow the example of their parents. Religious beliefs also have a huge influence as well.
Those are just my two cents 🙂
Post # 9
I havent’ seen the show, but I read “Under the Banner of Heaven” for my book club and I just don’t understand Polygamy. I won’t get started on the whole religious aspect, but I will say that DH and I would NOT be okay with sharing each other for life or even for a night.
Post # 10
I’m hoping I don’t get flamed here, but I watched it, I thought it was very interesting, and it didn’t bother me at all. If everyone is consenting, seemingly happy, and self supporting, why the heck not? They appear to be raising level headed, polite children, which is more than you can say for a lot of the “on TV” families.
What really bothers me is people who say “I didn’t watch, but I think it’s wrong”. How can you know if you haven’t given them a chance?
It’s def. not a choice I could make… I’m FAAAARRRRR to needy to share him with another woman lol! But luckily, I get to make my own choices, and he’s all mine!!!
Post # 11
This is my problem with polygamy as well, that it is patriarchal, and that women cannot have mulitple husbands (or wives etc) — If a woman were able to go out and marry 3 men (or women), then I think I would less opposed to it from a feminist/equality stance.
As far as Polyamory goes, I have no problem with it, I just don’t think it is my cup of tea as I suffer from bouts of jealousy from time to time.
I also agree with this, if everyone is consenting, then I have no problem with it, they can do as they like — but unfortunately a lot of polygamist communities take part in child trafficking between communities, and there are several instances of ‘child brides’ which skeeves me out. I’m not saying Sister Wives is an example of this, but there are other individuals within the polygamist sect that take part in these less than moral actions.
Post # 12
Post # 13
I dont think that it’s a practice that I could ever participate in. I already share FI with Uncle Sam and I hate it…. I couldn’t even imagine having to share with another woman.
BUT, they are all consenting adults and I think that their lifestyle is none of my business.
Post # 14
I find it interesting. I wouldn’t want it for my life but they seemed happy from the show so I don’t really have a problem. As far as it not being far that the women can’t have multiple husbands but men can, that the religion of it and sometimes religion isn’t fair. Women can’t be priests in the Catholic church but that doesn’t make me want to shun my religion. I also don’t feel that a few instances of negative, scandalous behavior defines an entire Religion.
Post # 15
If only one of the four (I just read the article above that Smyley posted) is his legal wife, then it’s not really illegal, then? I mean, I could have three guys come live in my house and call them my husbands, but if it’s not legal on paper, it’s not really a marriage in the eyes of the govt. Hmmm….
I haven’t seen the show. I don’t “get” polygamy, but to each his own I guess.
Post # 16
I enjoyed watching the show. The women are sensible, intelligent, good mothers. The kids are well-behaved and seem totally normal. With that said, it’s not a lifestyle that I would want for myself. And with THAT said, I think it’s fine for others.