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Aww thats a bit tough. Hard trying to rain in that excitement.
At least Theres are so many things that you can do without spending money. Inspiration boards ideas.. research budgeting until you have the money. There are somethings I shelled out the money for and i was like.. dang it if i just waited or researched it a bit more I couldve got that cheaper!
First of all, congrats!!!
One of the things I sort of regret about our upcoming wedding is spending so much money on it. Our budget is $10,000 for up to 100 people, which might not seem like a whole lot in wedding terms, but it is to me! When it comes down to it, it's a huge amount of money for such a short period of time. You can have just as much fun on a budget. It's almost more fun to try to be creative and find inexpensive ways of doing things. DIY is a great way of customizing your wedding, and if you want it to be, it can be much less expensive!
Do you have family members who might be able to help with anything? My grandma paid for my dress. She offered after we were talking about dresses over dinner one night, and she was so excited to be involved in that part of the wedding. Otherwise, we're paying for the rest on our own, for the most part.
One more thought - would babysitting evenings/weekends be an option? That's what I do when I'm trying to earn extra money. It's great because you're usually getting paid to just be there while the kids are sleeping. That might even give you more study/wedding planning time. I'm not sure if that's an option, but just throwing the idea out there. :)
ugh i know the feeling... fi and i are paying for almost everything ourselves (except my mom is paying for my cake and dress and his parents are paying for our honeymoon as a gift). anyways.... we save for a few weeks... then buy a few things... save for awhile... then more deposits.... i wish i could just do it all at once! haha. save your change from the day... (we had 300 dollars in a matter of about 2 months worth of change we would have never missed anyways!!)
I hear yah! There are so many things to do and most cost money to complete...arrgh! The next item on our list are STDs or putting a deposit down for a photographer. I've been able to buy one thing every month and with a wedding in May I should be good. But it is frustrating especially when it is out-of-pocket.
I know EXACTLY where you are coming from, and I would like to ramble a bit about my tight budget...maybe you can glean some ideas from what I'm doing...
Our honeymoon and my appearance immediately took 2,000 out of our 5,000 budget. I have done a whole lot of shopping around for prices, and a whole lot more DIY handiwork. You need to decide what is most important for you on your day. For me, I wanted to look like a million bucks, and to go to the ocean for our honeymoon. Weeks and weeks of bargain shopping for what I had pictured, and I managed to find an ocean front efficiancy with a kitchen for about 800 in peak season at Ocean City Maryland, and I have a beautiful corset gown with satin shoes and beautiful coordinating veil. My hair and nails (every trip to the salon) is included in the total cost of the 1,000 I had budgeted (and I managed to stay within that budget!)
As for the 3,000 that leaves for about 200 people....My grandmother is making our cake (I bought her clearanced three teir pans and she's an awesome cook). I am catering myself (my mother is making meatballs, and the rest will be cold foods for my July wedding). I made my own fans on my computer with cardstock and large popsicle sticks. I am painting clearanced wine glasses for my wedding party. I made beautiful centerpieces with supplies bought little by little as the sales hit....There are so many things you can do to cut corners, and still have an elegant wedding and reception.
Money is a very stressful part of a wedding, and I am not going to say it's been easy. Three weeks away, and I'm a nervous wreck...not to mention the tiffs me and my hubby keep getting in to because of the stress we are both under. I will say that it is possible to have an elegant wedding cheaply if you keep organized, always look for sales, and know exactly what you want BEFORE you start buying things. Google is your friend, lol.
I guess I just want to say hang in there....others are in the same boat, and it WILL come together for you!
Thanks for the commiseration/sympathies!
Our budget is really pretty small because we aren't having much of a reception (just a nice dinner out) and our guest list is going to be about 15 people! Our budget is mainly sucked up by travel and accomodation costs, and my dress budget at $600 or so is a huge chunk of the budget! Still, this is my one and only real wedding, I will not "settle" on a dress! I was married before in a courthouse, super low key, not the same.
Anyway overall we've got it figured at about $5,000 which is pretty darn cheap IMO, especially considering we're doing it in another state!
Our situation is quite different from the "norm", I realize, which complicates matters. We are a same sex couple (which is why we are marrying out of state, so it can be legal), in our 30's (me 38, her 34), we have kids, work, and full time school. We already have a house (with a mortgage but it's lower than any apartment around here, bought 3 years ago)... I have kind of lived my whole life "backwards", you could say!
But at any rate, her family is non-existent pretty much, her mom was abusive/neglectful and dad wasn't around, but she does have a fabulous aunt who lives in another state. My family is tiny, my mom is a problem and not too accepting of my relationship even though I've been with my FI for 7 years. She's changed the subject every time I bring up the wedding so I don't see her offering to help! My aunt/uncle are very religous and opposed to the whole thing in general. My father died when I was 30, but he'd be rolling over in his grave about a "lesbian wedding" anyway.
My brother is wonderful..he is 9 years older and was a big part of my upbringing... he is super supportive but has no money to help me, though he has said several times he wished he could contribute. My grandma has alzheimer's and still thinks I am married to my ex, who I haven't even seen in 5 years. Because of my mom's issues, my grandma thinks my FI is my roommate and so that's that.
I need to brainstorm and think of things I can do for money. I used to sell on eBay but that stopped being profitable, but then again maybe if I sell off my own stuff (used to buy and re-sell), it won't be so bad. I should consider babysitting too.. it's been a long time since I have. I used to do full time child care at a private school (afterschool program), I think I just got burned out with other people's kids but it is a good suggestion!
Maybe if I focus on having all these details sorted out and ready to go for when I do get some cash, it will feel like I'm being productive... but yeah, it's hard, and if we had the money we would just get married NOW! 
It's funny because we talked about it for a long time in a casual way, but once FI proposed "for real" and we decided "for real" it became so much more exciting for both of us, knowing that it is really going to happen!
Sorry to ramble!
I think $5,000 is impressive! I try to look at it as a challenge - you will be blessed to have just those nearest to you with you on your big day so you can focus on your FI and family. Will you be able to try the dress you want anytime soon? I was all mad at myself for passing up on a great deal for the dress I though I wanted but when I tried it on realized that I was way off on the sizing and would have had to pay for alterations. You might actually save money by waiting! preowneddresses.com lets you set up "alerts" they email to you if a dress becomes available. Good luck! I am sure you will have a beautiful and special day!
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I am so excited about my upcoming wedding (March 2011). I know I have a lot of time to get everything squared away but I have been planning and researching and I know what I want on so many things! We are marrying in another state so it's important that I settle on venue and lodging and so forth (which I have)... and I am ready to try on dresses soon...
The frustration is coming from not having any money right now. We are both FT students and summer is always "lean" for us. I have a job that is only during the school year and I just supplement with temp work in summer, but we both have more money during the school year. We will have some more cash then, in early September, and everything is waiting until then, so I can't do things like put a deposit down for the venue and lodging to hold my dates, can't jump on any great deals when I find them, that sort of thing. It's just driving me crazy!
Plus, I am in love with a dress that is usually $1000, I found it online for $600ish... I am so worried it won't be that price when I get the money to order it! I still have yet to try it on but I am afraid that when I do go try it on I will be even more in love with it and even more frustrated about having to wait to get it!
Just needing to vent my frustrations. I want to do things NOW! Arrgh.