Thanks for the commiseration/sympathies!
Our budget is really pretty small because we aren’t having much of a reception (just a nice dinner out) and our guest list is going to be about 15 people! Our budget is mainly sucked up by travel and accomodation costs, and my dress budget at $600 or so is a huge chunk of the budget! Still, this is my one and only real wedding, I will not “settle” on a dress! I was married before in a courthouse, super low key, not the same.
Anyway overall we’ve got it figured at about $5,000 which is pretty darn cheap IMO, especially considering we’re doing it in another state!
Our situation is quite different from the “norm”, I realize, which complicates matters. We are a same sex couple (which is why we are marrying out of state, so it can be legal), in our 30’s (me 38, her 34), we have kids, work, and full time school. We already have a house (with a mortgage but it’s lower than any apartment around here, bought 3 years ago)… I have kind of lived my whole life “backwards”, you could say!
But at any rate, her family is non-existent pretty much, her mom was abusive/neglectful and dad wasn’t around, but she does have a fabulous aunt who lives in another state. My family is tiny, my mom is a problem and not too accepting of my relationship even though I’ve been with my FI for 7 years. She’s changed the subject every time I bring up the wedding so I don’t see her offering to help! My aunt/uncle are very religous and opposed to the whole thing in general. My father died when I was 30, but he’d be rolling over in his grave about a “lesbian wedding” anyway.
My brother is wonderful..he is 9 years older and was a big part of my upbringing… he is super supportive but has no money to help me, though he has said several times he wished he could contribute. My grandma has alzheimer’s and still thinks I am married to my ex, who I haven’t even seen in 5 years. Because of my mom’s issues, my grandma thinks my FI is my roommate and so that’s that.
I need to brainstorm and think of things I can do for money. I used to sell on eBay but that stopped being profitable, but then again maybe if I sell off my own stuff (used to buy and re-sell), it won’t be so bad. I should consider babysitting too.. it’s been a long time since I have. I used to do full time child care at a private school (afterschool program), I think I just got burned out with other people’s kids but it is a good suggestion!
Maybe if I focus on having all these details sorted out and ready to go for when I do get some cash, it will feel like I’m being productive… but yeah, it’s hard, and if we had the money we would just get married NOW! It’s funny because we talked about it for a long time in a casual way, but once FI proposed “for real” and we decided “for real” it became so much more exciting for both of us, knowing that it is really going to happen!
Sorry to ramble!