Post # 1
something to him on the phone, and he replies that we have like 20 or so from my side and she’s starts to like freak out. She’s asking him if we have enough people blah blah. Well his family is used to huge weddings, and they have lots of family, my side has lots of family, but we are not close to most of them. So we have like 175 on the list … that’s us combined. Wth.
I feel like calling and telling her off, but I will not because I will have respect for fiance and I’m soo mad about her comments. She’s like freaking out. WTH. Some people have like 50 people at their wedding. 175 is a good amt. of people.
Now fiance is like telling me to stop cancelling people off the list, ones that I DONT LIKE and I dont want at my wedding, like some of his sisters 7 friends + dates … wth it’s not HER wedding. It’s my wedding.
Post # 3
before you do anything you might regret late just stop and breathe!
I"m so sorry your FMIL is being a pain, well more than a pain. It is your wedding and you and your Fiance should be doing what you want. VEnt to us, vent to your FI and have your FI speak with her again once you have both calmed down.
Post # 4
It is your wedding, but like Chela said, just calm down and give it a breather.
This is your wedding and your decisions. Family WILL meddle in and try to put their spin on how things should be done. Just be clear about the decisions that have been made and leave it at that. Also remember that even if your FMIL is driving you nuts, she is your FI’s mom, so be careful of what you say about her to him, just as you would want him to be gentle with what he says about your mother to you. Even if the moms drive us nuts sometimes, they are still our moms!
Post # 5
LOL – I’ve never heard anyone say they don’t have enough people on the wedding guest list. Your FMIL sounds like loads of fun. Stand your ground – only invite close family – not your FI’s sisters friend of a friend, etc.
Post # 6
I can understand the feeling of wanting to keep up with the rest of the family. My family typically has large weddings. And it seems like when one or two people has a small wedding, (Let’s say 130 or less) it’s kind of mentioned in a tone ranging from "I wonder why" to "That’s too bad. We shouldn’t discuss it any further." Fi’s family must be the same way.
To be honest I felt like I invited the "sisters’ friends and guests" type to my wedding. And honestly kind of regret it. Honestly, I think its mostly because I was the one caught up in wanting a large wedding. If my mother or in-law was asking for that, instead of me, I’m not sur how I’d feel.
On the other hand, I’m not sure when it comes down to the wedding, if you’ll really remember or keep track of the extra people, that she wants. The people you love and want to be around you, are the ones you’ll have the memories of for your wedding.
It’s kind of annoying the way she wants to include people just to have a large wedding. Figure out with your FI, what to agree upon with the guest list. And make sure he does the talking. (But I’m guessing just what she says hurts your feelings regardless. Does her tone make you feel like "Doesn’t Mrs.HR have any friends? " "Doesn’t Mrs.HR’s family love her?" ) Try to let it go. She’s probably just feaking out because of the wedding. My guess is her family is the type to really compare weddings etc, and talk behind each others’ backs.