Post # 1
Hi! Im getting married in June 26 in Finland… yes that far away ** signs ** and as it is difficult enough to plan a wedding, its even more stressful to do it from here (miami) …. the thing is that i dont know how to get him to do things, basically everything is in his hands and i have to trust him with everything hhmmm? but i dont ! i focus in every single detail and i hate to do things in a rush, in the other hand he is taking his time telling me dont worry about it … this is how i see itt the wedding is almost here and the only thing i know we got for sure is the venue/menu/gift registry and the hair dresser and make up artist for me…. thats about it, i got sooo upset at him today because i told him to make a list of things that he needs to do and he said i have it all in my head ….. OMG! i feel so angry! i just dont have control of anything and all i do is keep reminding him about all this details and it makes me look like im bitching but im just trying to get things done, i mean is this bad? the reason i agreed on having this wedding in finland is because he is coming to live here and i thought it would be nice for him to enjoy a party with all his friends and family but now im going nuts because he tells me there is time for everything things are different in finland… i mean how different can it be a wedding is a wedding anywhere! ….. Ladys i need your help sooo bad! i fear that everything would be disorganized!!! should i just not care? i mean we will have a reception for my family in miami too but later on.
It would be really helpful to hear any advise.
Post # 3
Take a deep breath. It WILL all work out. Remember, the wedding is a few hours, and your marriage is forever. That being said, you are a typical American bride who wants it all planned out just so. Most guys, American or not, will take their time, and not understand all the little details. I swear their brains just function differently. Mine just doesn’t get why I am upset that the cake stamps arent out yet. Make yourself a checklist to discuss with your FI- prioritize the things that mean the most to you. You may not get to have everything just so, but maybe if you can at least get him to assure you of two or three details that are very important to you, you will know that you have that to look forward to. Ask him to take pictures, or put you on the phone with vendors if you can. I am sure things are different there- they are different from state to state here. In the end, it will be wonderful. You are marrying the guy that you love.
Post # 4
Maybe you could hire a wedding planner in Finland to help things along? Or get some of his trustworthy family members involved?
I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with it. It’s really hard to relinquish control over something as important as a wedding from across a continent. But in the end I am sure it will be fine. Things probably are different over there. I would try to prioritize what things are most important to you and to just trust him with the rest. And in the end, you will be married to the man you love, which is the most important thing.
Post # 5
Thank you sooo much JessinNY you are right! brain definitely different and more for weddings…. I am taking a deep breath already as i write this, it feels good! ……sadly i had done the LIST already but it seems that only when i get upset at him he will then get things done, what i will do now is a list of the most important things for me 🙂 … hopefully everything turns out wonderful.
Post # 6
Chelseamorning i wish i could hire someone but we cant, not in our budget 🙁 what i did already is getting his mom involved and she is trying to help me which is nice………. i will definitely have to trust him with some things, i will try.
Post # 7
Is there some stuff you can research on the internet? Is there some stuff you can do from her and ship to him? Favors? Invitations? DIY flowers? Maybe you can come up with the timeline, one item at a time. Discuss it with him, check in with him. Then move on to the next iem. It’s nice that he’s this willing to get involved too. While he’s not as detailed about it as you, it’s sweet that he’s wanting to do it.
Also, maybe you can rely on the Miami reception as your planning outlet.
Post # 8
Awww I cannot imagine how you must feel!! And NO you are not wrong to feel the way you do…..it’s very natural….you’re only upset because you care! And at least you will get to have a reception in Miami if Finland doesn’t turn out the way you want it to (doubt if you have a trusty FMIL helping you out (I’m very jealous of that by the way…). And although I’m very much like you in terms of wanting to know what’s going on, I know a few girls who would DIE to be in your position….your MAN is planning it and you get to sit back and just BE the bride. Hope everything goes well!!! Good luck!!
Post # 9
I can absolutely appreciate your being frustrated! It is hard to expect the groom to do anything except show up but when you are planning a wedding in another country and the responsibilty falls on him, that can be VERY difficult! Like what others have said, no matter how much you plan, something will go wrong. The best thing to do is plan as much as you can from here and to let the rest go. You can have a reception in Miami when you guys get back. I think that is a great idea! Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Post # 10
Everything will turn out great, you will see! What guy doesn’t want to impress their lady with the calmness over appearantly stressful situation. You are lucky to have a guy who is doing all of the planning. I was impressed with the planning my husband did.
I say keep you lines of communications open, in a non-stressful manner. A cute email with how fun are these centerpieces or what shade of pink…etc. Once he has the ideas there is not much that you can do but sit back and wait!
It will be amazing and then you will get to plan another round in the states 😉
Post # 11
Thank you ladys i so much appreciate all your comments!
Yes tanya123 i still research online like crazy.. (if i may say that) i have found lots of information and that has been trully helpful. I will get the favors here and some other things too, i am working on the timeline right now, hhmmm? if i compared him with other guys i have to say that he is really helpful but even though he helps i get frustated ** sigh ** maybe i should be more positive and appriciate all he is doing a lil more.
Go2bee you got a point! yes i think i just care tooo much.. that could be my problem? but how not to care when this will be the most important day of my life? ………… i am also sooooo much looking forward to having the reception here then i will be able to do everyhting myself aahhh! things like gift registry,trying the cake to only mention a few. I am happy to know you are just like me wanting to know everything.( i think thats normal).. in the other hand it sucks im not like one of those brides that would be thrilled to have the groom take care of everything but ohhh no i dont think so he he he.
NYCgirl920 … great thing to say! … i should already go thinking something will go wrong because like that it wont be a surprice if something would indeed go wrong. Thanks! ooohhhh i will definitely post some photos and will let you know how it goes :)..
SpaceC06 Yeah im really trying to focus on that line " everything would turn out great" i like to think that. You are definitely right, actually it really helps me sometimes when i have a problem and i know i can always come to him and he would just make it look so small no matter how big the problem might seem to me, which is nice! as i write this im reallt starting to realized ao many things ** sighs** thank you…. thank you!!!!!!
Post # 12
It is good that you have his mother to help, Put your trust in her. Good luck!