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Does he think he is going to have to do interviews with the camera like a documentary on a wedding? Id let him know he can be himself, the videographer is there to record the day and important stuff like the first dance, cake cutting, etc. Your fiance can still act like himself and have fun while someone is videotaping.
Awwww I am so sorry to hear this...how frustrating! Try not to get too upset...I don't think that a lot of men understand the videography idea and what is important about it. My FI doesn't think it is necessary per se, but I'm slowly working on it...pointing out that its kind of the same as having the photog following us around all day anyway!
I decided we're having it. I mean, I will have it while I'm getting ready and I know in the contract it says there's a 2nd guy for him ... he can just deal with it however he'd like.
He probably does think it will be a "cheesy" wedding video - I got a really cool guy though and he's not like that. Actually .... I'm going to make him watch the website of our guy right now.
He probably does think there's interviews lol. Didnt think of that.
Just explain they won't ask anything of him. It sounds like you are doing candid coverage and it will be fine !
I just say do it, sometimes you just got to take over and decide things on your own without the FI's help. Sometimes I do it...because he'll either say NO, but I really want it or he'll be like whatever you want, so I just do it! Guys don't know wedding stuff!
My fiance initally said no filming. I played the "I'm not really for it either, but my parents really would like it" angle, and so he finally gave in. lol
I think that instead of just "deciding" on your own that you will have a videographer, you should at least find a way to convince your guy that it's a good (or at least not terrible) idea. Maybe show him some of the beautiful examples of wedding videos that other bees have posted, and definitely assure him that he won't have to do anything special for the cameras - that they will be in the background filming things as they happen - just like the photographer, but instead of still shots you'll get motion.
That being said, we have decided against a videographer for some of the same reasons as it sounds like your FI has. To make a video, you get a whole crew, and it does get in the way of the natural progression of events. We hired a photojournalistic photographer who will literally be a "fly on the wall" documenting the natural events so we can just relax and be us, but we didn't really feel it could be this way with videographers.
FWIW, a few days after our wedding, my guy expressed a wish that someone had 'recorded' the ceremony. I never considered a videographer (and MrBaffled doesn't know they exist) but the Mr observed that we missed out on some things that a video would rectify. We had friends perform the 'processional' and 'recessional' but we weren't able to really pay attention and enjoy the performances...
I think you need to ask DF why he doesn't want it.
DF and I both hate being filmed and feel very uncomfortable about it. I think I would be too aware of the camera and wouldn't be able to relax due to it being there. My DF is very similar and have decided we don't want one and would rather pay for a better photographer.
My mother, who is paying for the wedding, does not get this at all. She feels it is her wedding and if she wants one, she will just pay for one. I can't get her to understand why we are so adamant about it, and its starting to make DF resent her a little bit. I therefore think you need to discuss it more with your future husband, so you don't end up in the same position as us.
As a guest, I have also been to so many weddings where they come with 2 photographers and 2 videographers. I have complained a few times that they crowd the couple and you can't actually see what is going on.
I think you shouldn't just make the decision without him. This deserves a real conversation and I think you need reasons besides "its what you do" to demonstrate to him why its important to you. Really listen to his concerns and see if you can't compromise. Its his wedding too!
I've got to agree with Bamboo. It seems like we brides spend a good deal of time wishing our fiancés were more interested in the wedding, so I think when a guy does express a strong opinion, it's important to listen, even if it's annoying.
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so frustrating.
So I'm sitting here, winding down, and I get out the contract to fill out so I can give it back to the videographer tomorrow. Fiance goes "What is that?" I told him and he's like "I don't want to be filmed all day." "What if I want to hang out ... from the ceremony on ... that's it."
I mean, ok WHATEVER youre SOOOOOOOO annoying and you are driving me crazy and now you are on MY LAST NERVE.
I told him: "What do you mean .. you are getting married, that's what people do." He refuses ... this is the same man that refuses to wear a boutineer on his tux.