Soooo pissed off right now…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Rachel631:  Allow me to go out and KICK things on your behalf. The honeysuckle looks like it is giving me attitude right now.

Commiserations and lots of support though. Why are people so damned flaky at times?

xx

Post # 4
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’d be pissed off too, but after reading so many whining posts about BMs on this site, I have to wonder what is the point of even having them? I would guess that in more cases than not, there’s some drama.

It seems the BMs often resent having to fork out their own cash for clothes they won’t wear again, and don’t actually want to help out. The job isn’t exactly rocket science, either so it’s frustrating for the bride.

Post # 5
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@canarydiamond:  I totally agree. That’s why I’m having my one, non-dramatic, non-demanding, grounded in logical thinking sister as my single BM.

 

OP, this kind of stuff would drive me CRAZY. I feel for you.

Post # 6
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

that’s really irritating, sorry you have to deal with this!

It’s not like you’re being unreasonable…you just want them at the rehearsal! That’s a pretty obvious event for them to show up at!

Post # 7
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Rachel631:  my girls are trying to do this to me too, so i feel you!

three of them tried to tell me back in like, october (literally a year from my wedding) that they might miss rehearsal because they might not be able to take a thursday and friday off of work (wedding is in another state and our venue unfortunately might force us to do rehearsal on thursday). um, don’t go on vacation in august or september of NEXT YEAR and youll have two vacation days. i mean, its not rocket science. then one tells me a friend is having a wedding the weekend before across the country so she is going to be flying to our wedding from this other wedding, how much you want to bet she tries to miss rehearsal too.

so long story short, you aren’t alone. when i was a BM, i NEVER would have fathomed attempting to miss rehearsal. -_-

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

What! In what world does the bridal party just decide to ship the rehearsal? That’s crazy!

Post # 9
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@canarydiamond:  What I don’t understand is bridesmaids who FIGHT the simplest wishes of the bride. My bridesmaids have been so great, with very little contradictions (which was basically like, I wanted them to wear knee-length dresses and one of them is really uncomfortable in dresses, especially short ones, so I said, okay, whatever, get a long dress).

I get you, though. FI’s brother still hasn’t sent in his RSVP. FFIL said they wouldn’t, and I told FI to call them and tell them that if we DON’T get a paper RSVP returned, there will be no seats and no food for them. He’s supposed to be in the wedding–no  idea if he’s gotten measured yet, but that needs to be done ASAP. We don’t even know if he’s coming, since he told FI that they couldn’t afford to, and then two weeks later, showed up to a graduation party and acted like they never said that (despite their refusal for anything that required them paying as “Due to budget…”).

Post # 10
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Annoying and hurtful. With the shoes.. urgh. The colour is BLUE! Not brown, not nude… not freaking anything but blue. Whhhyyy is that so difficult to understand?

 

As for not showing up to the rehearsal?? I would be devastated.

 

Post # 11
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Urgh. This is why I tried to avoid having bridesmaids! I have two – my 14 year old cousin and FI’s sister. To keep the peace all I’ve asked is that they turn up in their dresses, don’t copy my hair and make up, and SHHH.

On a side note I wouldn’t dream of skipping the rehearsal without REALLY good reason. Rude!

Post # 12
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Try to keep a level head.

With that said…

YES! Oh man, I don’t blame you. PEOPLE! If you agree to be a BM/GM, you are agreeing to more than wearing a pretty dress and walking down an aisle. You are there to be emotional support, you are committing time (more than just the day-of) to this event and probably a small chunk of change. The rehearsal is part of the wedding if you’re having one. You are one of the most important parts of the day because the bride/groom asked you to be. ACT LIKE IT MATTERS.

Post # 14
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@vorpalette:  I don’t get how you girls with bigger weddings do it lol. I am having like 3 guests, tops hahaha.

Glad that your BMs aren’t too bad, though. You also seem like a flexible person without bridezilla expectations, so that helps I’m sure!

Post # 15
Member
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

That really sucks – I remember you had problems with Nightmare!Bridesmaid at the start too, and now the others are all in on it!

But it’s nearly over, the end is in sight! Then you can just say “fuck ’em” and get drunk with your hubby!

Post # 16
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

With the shoe issue – I have to say I think it was a little demanding to have them get navy shoes. Who owns navy shoes? I’m guessing most of us don’t. I also don’t think navy shoes with a cobalt dress would match. I think you should have said, wear nude shoes and called it a day. But too late now obivously, however I would just keep that in mind that maybe you rubbed your girls the wrong way with that one.

As far as the rehearsal goes, is it the night before the wedding? I’m confused on that one. If it is, I would stress that you really need them there but if they can’t make it you’ll be happy to go over it with them later that night.

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