Post # 1
So, I posted on here once before about being “new to waiting.”
My boyfriend and I have only been together 5 1/2 months. When we first met, neither of us would have said marriage was a priority… i’m 27 and he’s 31 but we were both pretty much just looking for something casual.
Well, that didn’t work, and everything has moved incredibly quickly… I felt like I loved him after 3 weeks, but never would have said it out loud because I thought I was a crazy person… sure enough, on our date the next day he told me he loved me for the first time… we have just been crazy on the same page about everything… it only took about 3 months for us to start talking about “forever” as if it was a certainty… I remember cooking dinner for him one night about 3 months in and he said “if you’re not careful I’m going to make you marry me” which was a shock, because before that I had thought he was kind of anti-marriage.
I NEVER expected to be “waiting” but after about 4 months it just became really clear that marriage was the way we were heading, and we talk about it really openly now, and I know he has decided that he will marry me, but now it could be a month, it could be a year, I have no idea. I really do want to let him do it at his own pace… but it’s just so intense to deal with! I really never even knew this “waiting” was a thing…
Does anybody have experience with this? Waiting after such a short amount of time? How did you deal with it? How long did it take?
Post # 3
You’re probably going to get some heat, I feel like most people on here are waiting literally years, but alas- here I am!
My SO and I have been friends for like 10 years, but we started dating only 7 months ago. He has my ring, his family helped pick it out, we’re in the process of buying a house, and he’s asked for my hand.
Waiting is stressful for anyone because once you know he’s the one, you know you want to make it legit, in my opinion anyway.
I personally brought it up. Once I knew I wanted to commit myself to him I asked when he thought we should get engaged. That was around the 3 month mark and that week he started looking at rings.
I wish I could give you more advice because your man may not be on the same page, yes he knows you are the one but maybe that doesn’t quite equal marriage right now for him. I’d bring it up jokingly. Ask if he knows your ring size or something. If he’s the one you should be comfortable asking about it and it really shouldn’t be a big deal.
Post # 4
@laughs: There are some good signs here. I would suggest, maybe around the 6 month mark, having a bit of a conversation about where things are heading. Keep it light and calm. Just see if you can get an idea on what he’s thinking about and whether a proposal will be soon or further in the future.
Once you know that you can move from there. Be patient, be reasonable, and make sure you listen to him when he talks. Focus on the things you love to do and on things you want to do.
Remember that, while he seems like he wants to marry you, there may be serious reasons why he isn’t ready for that step yet. Do your best to be supportive and understanding if that’s the case.
Post # 5
@laughs: it sounds like you have a great start to your relationship. you are both happy and committed. my advise is to enjoy this stage in your relationship. don’t let “waiting” interfere with this special time together.
tbh, my now dh proposed to me after only 3 months of meeting. i knew he was the one but we waited 2+ years to even set a date. i wanted enjoy “dating” him and getting to know everything about him. i really didn’t want to miss out on that stage of our lives together. btw, those years were wonderful.
Post # 6
@mypinkshoes: Yes! I think that’s exactly what I need to do… he’s such a great guy and there’s no need to be engaged yet so why worry about it? I just need to get BACK in that mindset, it’s where I want to be, but once marriage crept into my mind it’s hard to get it out…
I think you are exactly right though…
@LoggerHead91207: @LadySmurph: you both make a lot of sense… I really appreciate the advice… gonna just try to enjoy it and hope things continue to move forward.
Post # 7
I have no experience waiting after such a short amount of time, although I did have an ex who told me he wanted to marry me about 3 months in and that if he had a ring, he would’ve proposed then and there. To be honest it scared the crap out of me. I think as others have mentioned you should just wait it out and enjoy your time together. There are alot of things that don’t come to the surface until after the “honeymoon” phase has either passed or waned a bit. But being on the same page early on is definitely a good sign that you are headed in the right direction together.
Post # 8
@laughs: your story and timeline is similar to mine. we started ring shopping 4 months in or so and engaged at 11 months. It would have been sooner but he was laid off.
Post # 9
@laughs: i’m still waiting after 3+ years, i’d say relax and enjoy the now. i hear once your engaged, it goes by lightning fast. and if that doesn’t help, go to the emotional link in wedding related, some of the reads have doused me in reality
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2012 - Cabin
I waited 6 years to get engaged to my now DH. Not that I wanted to wait that long, honestly, waiting doesn’t get easier, but enjoy it now. Once engaged, the time flies by to the wedding! So just get to know everything about each other. There will be tons to learn.
Post # 11
Oh yesss… this is me. I (27) knew SO (28) was the one within the first few months. Luckily, like you & yours it seems, he felt the same way. We’re at 5.5 months and have already started planning for marriage. Our wedding date will be on the anniversary of our first date! WOO HOO!
I could always tell within 3-6 months of dating someone whether or not they were worth continuing on with. After ~9 “NO!”s, it’s so awesome to feel “YES YES YES!”.