(Closed) Sorry, need to vent a little! (long, sigh)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think it’s fair for her to expect you to ONLY think of her wedding — but I wonder if it’s possible that you unintentionally stepped on her toes some. 

I have a close coworker who is also planning a wedding right now and it’s VERY hard for us to talk about any of our plans together, because it always feels like we’re comparing ideas and measuring up how the other person is doing versus our own wedding (we’re getting married 2 months apart), and while neither us of likes the weird competitive vibe, it’s kind of inevitable, since we’re making all the same decisions, and obviously like our own better. 

So in your excitement over your own wedding, I wonder if you may have made her feel not good enough or just overly compared, if that makes sense. 

I know that’s you’re excited about your wedding, but you do have a whole year left to be excited – and she can be excited with you once hers is finished, but right now she’s probably so wrapped up in trying to get stuff done that she might be feeling like her thunder is being stolen or something. 

Weddings are a really emotional time for a lot of women, because we have such high expectations for them, and we’re told that they need to be so perfect, and that becomes such a personal thing. I think it’s easy to over react or read into stuff related to the wedding. Try to be gracious, since she is your close friend, and surely you care a lot about her!

Post # 4
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

I think that this is one case where you might need to drop some hints to her that there is a surprise for her. Such as on the fb, reply back to S and say “of course hers is first, we are still working on… =)”. And when her FI says that, respond and say “oh yeah, I’ve got something up the sleeve for her, just haven’t worked out the details yet, don’t you worry.” It will put her mind at ease that you ARE thinking of her.

Post # 5
Member
7299 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

The person who commented on your facebook status is RUDE.

Post # 6
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Kindred Oaks, Georgetown

They need to give you a break. If what you’re working on for her is secret well then obviously she’s not gonna know about it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be excited for your wedding at all. That’s just not fair to you.

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’d leave a really cheeky FB reply ” shhh it’s a top secret project and only people with max. security clearance have full disclosure. , more details to follow.. ‘ …make it really playful and go from there.

Post # 9
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I really think they are being unfair to you.  You are trying to do things for her wedding but they keep blocking you!  It is unrealistic for them to think you are not excited about your own wedding.

The topic ‘Sorry, need to vent a little! (long, sigh)’ is closed to new replies.

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