- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I am going to try to keep this short. My mother in law has a bad habit that drives everyone around her nuts but noone says anything!
When she gets something in her mind, say a get together with family, she is like a dog with a bone trying to make it happen even if it just does not make sense to do (ex. travelling long distances in bad weather?) or we tell her we cannot go due to x and she literally ignores what we just said and will end the conversation with “well you just let me know about that party”…we have already told you “no”. She pretends to forget we even talked if she doesn’t like or agree with what you said.
She is a bad planner, everyone in the family agrees on that…she cannot plan to save her life. However, this habit of asking until she gets an answer she wants or the event comes and we just don’t show up (like we told her we wouldn’t 8 times already).
It is unbelievably frustrating and irritating. My husband is great and is a unified front with me. It got so bad right before our wedding, she wanted us to come to this wedding brunch the morning after the wedding and just started planning it 2 weeks before the wedding. I told her no, then him, then us together and then a week later (ie 1 week to wedding) when we stop into their house she corners me and asks me again (4th time now) and I yelled out to FI the question she just asked again about us coming to this brunch to which he again says “no” even more firmly. Her husband then pipes up and reiterates it is a no, stop asking.
Night of the wedding as we are leaving she then asks what time she will see us the next morning…my DH goes “you won’t, we told you” and he kissed her on the cheek, hugged his dad and we left.
She did it again with a “family trip” in which she told both kids and their wives “all of us are going” when she had not confirmed anything and only briefly asked. We are all of a sudden roped into this trip where we have not even been asked to come, its just assumed we are free…turns out with only a week to the date of the trip (3 days after she started planning) when we all got back to her on if we could go (mind you she assumed we all were and told the people we were visiting we were, and made hotel arrangements) that on such short notice none of us could go!
Last example, everyone and their mother new I was keeping my last name. We discussed it on several occasions and it culminated in 1 big discussion over a big family get-together and she voiced her opposition to it in a rather heated discussion between my FI and her (so she would have to remember). The other night we go to leave and calls me by mrs. husband’s last name and I correct her and she goes “oh i wasn’t really sure, we never discussed it”…when I then go to remind her we had she says “but what about the kids lasts names…they have to be husbands last name”. I just saw red.
It’s just so irritating cause its this chaos she causes and then we are in this whirlwind of chaos and trying to figure out what is actually going on and with whom.
Any advice? Want to commiserate with me?