- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
So toward the end of this past week I was starting to think about maybe bringing up a timeline discussion with SO. We’ve been dating for 15 months, and we’re 30. We’ve already discussed that we want to marry each other, so it’s not a question of if, but when.
So I decided Saturday was the day.
I first asked him if he has thought about buying a house with me (we’ve discussed this before) and he shocked me by saying “every day.” He told me (without much prodding from me) that his truck has 1 more payment to be paid off, then his last credit card of $2,000, then he is going to be saving. I mentioned that my lease is up this Sept., so I will renew again, but hope that that’s the last time I will have to renew. He agreed. He already knows from previous discussions I will not buy a house with him unless we are at least engaged.
We ended up having to get to a birthday dinner with friends, so I couldn’t go further with the discussion just yet. However, my SO randomly said at dinner that he saw this gear wedding band online that looked really cool, and he would like something like that. But then he said he might not even want a ring at all (mind you, this is a discussion at a table with our other friends, not just between us), maybe he’ll get a “wedding watch” instead (he loves watches). He can’t wear a ring at work for safety reasons.
Anyway, I figured I would bring up the ring issue when we were in private, because to me it’s an important symbol of marriage, and I don’t care what ring he wears as the wedding band, as long as it is our wedding band.
Later that night, we were at the bar with friends and he (again randomly, there was no wedding discussion going on) brings up that he would not want the song that was playing (I’m too sexy) to play at our wedding, and also that he doesn’t want the chicken dance or the hokey pokey (do they play the hokey pokey at weddings? haha). I told him sounds good, but it really amused me that he’s been thinking of random details like that.
So Saturday ended up being a late night and not a good time to have the talk. On Sunday, we spent the day with my parents, so weren’t able to talk until after they left. However, we were both tired, and I tried bringing it up with the ring issue first. I asked him to tell me about not wanting to wear a wedding band, that I was curious about that. He said he’s never had to wear a ring, and that he doesn’t think it would be comfortable, but then told me he’d wear one for me. I told him that I wouldn’t force him to wear one, and he could get whatever one he wanted, but that it is important to me. He told me that he would wear one, he just wants a watch too (men! haha).
So no definitive wedding/engagement timeline yet but I was satisfied with this discussion for now. I guess the whole weekend just made me realize he is thinking and planning, and maybe when the subject naturally comes up again I’ll discuss a timeline.
Probably a good sign that he’s thinking/bring up these topics himself with no provocation, right?