Post # 1
My SO’s best friend died in his sleep at the age of 25 and my SO is beside himself. they’ve known each other since they were infants, and been best friends their whole lives. their families are really close and they are a part of a group of five best friends who’ve known each other since kindergarden or before. they spent tons of time together this summer, in fact just before he died they went on a huge hike. he was really fit, young, no inkling that there was anything wrong – he never complained about feeling sick or anything else.
i knew him well too – we lived in my SO’s home city for two years and saw him weekly at least – he was incredibly smart and funny, super relaxed and friendly.
he started his last year of grad school on thursday, and died in his sleep thursday night. i’m completely shocked – and i don’t know how to support my SO. we’re currently on opposite sides of the country and me going there isn’t an option (i have surgery in a few days that cannot be postponed). we’ve talked lots, but i just feel so helpless. once they know what happened, i’d like to make a donation in his name to a cause that’s appropriate – if it stays a mystery, i’ll choose a charity he supported.
i’m not exactly sure why i’m writing this except that i’m not telling anyone outside my family here – my SO isn’t ready to deal with everyone else at the moment. so appreciate everyone around you and tell them you love them.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry how terrible!! I would just as you said give your SO sometime and do whatever you can to be there with him.
Do they know the cause of death?
Post # 4
🙁 Wow, that’s awful! I’m so sorry you and your SO are going through this.
Post # 5
@prettyinpink11: no, they have no idea. there will be an autopsy, so hopefully the family will know soon. it’s just so shocking.
Post # 6
I’m so sorry to hear this. My best friend passed away while taking a nap last summer. She was 32, seemingly healthy, and getting married in 2 months. In fact, we had her bachelorette party the weekend before she passed. We did trapeze classes, drank a ton, and walked all around for the whole weekend.
They found out she had heart disease, but she never really went to the doctor so no one knew and she didn’t have any symptoms. It was (still is) terrible and shocking.
Since you can’t be with him, just let him know that you are there to talk and be available for him at all times. My FI (then boyfriend) was so great to me after she passed away – slept over every night (we didn’t live together yet) and was there to talk whenever I needed it. Just make sure he knows that he is supported and that you are there for him.
Post # 7
@peonyinlove: Maybe your partner would consider talking with a grief counselor. It would be great if you could be there with him, but I’m assuming you aren’t trained in this area anyway. Support is great, but so is constructive advice about how to deal with it (which he may not take as well from you). It could help him come to terms with his feelings.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Post # 8
@peonyinlove: nothing like this is ever easy, but I hope things get better for everyone soon. Don’t let your SO forget that his friend will always be with him no matter what.
Post # 9
oh my god im so sorry… this happened not long ago (about 2 weeks ago i think) to a friend of ours, she was 44 (not old), vegan and the sweetest and purest person we’ve known. Apparently she had a heart attack in her sleep but we dont know why or anything, i dont know if her husband asked for an autopsy… she left her husband and her 8 year old daughter 🙁
Post # 10
@weatherbug: thank you for sharing your story – i’m so sorry you went through that. i can’t believe it was so close to her wedding.
after we hung up, i immediately thought about how he likely would have been the best man at our wedding. i hate the idea that they won’t be each other’s best men.
@MrsPanda99: that’s definitely an idea – he’s leaving in two weeks when we move back to europe, but our university has a great counseling office. i’ll mention that to him, thank you.
@prettyinpink11: i think i’ll make him a photobook of him and his friend – maybe silly, but especially when we go back in a few weeks, he won’t have his friends and family around, so it might be nice to have some photos of all their adventures.
@Anamagana: wow, i’m so sorry you’re going through this too – so sad that she had a daughter.
Post # 11
@peonyinlove: I’m sorry, this is so terrible ):
Post # 12
@Ninteenthchance: thanks for your kind words.
i went to a wedding tonight, and had to leave early (no one noticed – during the dancing) because i kept thinking that he should have been able to get married – he was in a relationship of 6 years, and that he should be a carefree young person celebrating milestones like that.
i walked home and cried. this is so awful.
Post # 13
@peonyinlove: Oh honey, I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Post # 14
@peonyinlove: I’m so sorry. I would have left early and cried too.
Just be there for your SO to talk to and be a support to him. I lost one of my best friends at 21 and it affected me for a long time.
Post # 15
DH’s Best friend died last year, we was also engaged to my best friend. I think the best thing you can do is be a sounding board- just listen to him. I’m sorry for your loss.
Post # 16
@peonyinlove: I’m so sorry. It is so difficult to lose someone so early in life, especially someone so young and who seemed to be in great health.
I would encourage you to do little things for your SO this week to try to comfort him — maybe sending a card with a handwritten note? Or something comforting from a vendor like Harry & David?
It is so hard to watch someone you love so much grieve such a difficult loss, especially when you were close with his friend too.