- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I need some advice/ help/ someone to help while I vent.
So, my SO and I have been pretty close for a couple of years and we have been dating for about nine months. He broke up with his previous girlfriend of 3 years about 3 or 4 weeks before we started dating. He had been unhappy for a while, and when he came back from Officer Candidate School for the Marines he broke up with her almost immediately. He told me that being there changed him, and he realized what was good for him (me) and what wasn’t (his ex).
A couple of months before he left for OCS, I started to fall pretty hard for him. I was respectful of their relationship and didn’t make any moves, but I did tell him how I felt and we became closer. His girlfriend started checking his phone as well as hacking his Facebook because she was concerned about his relationship with me. She started following me on Twitter, she tried to follow me around at work, and she started a rumor that I was sleeping with her then boyfriend.
Needless to say, the rumor wasn’t true. Even though I’d been friends with her boyfriend for a good while, we’d never even held hands and we’d only hugged a couple of times. I think we knew that we were fire and gasoline, and we didn’t want to push it with any unnecessary physical contact to be honest.
Once he got back from OCS, he broke up with her. She was very, VERY upset. Started stalking him (and me), wrote him a letter, showed up at his college dorm demanding that he return everything she’d given him over the past three years. Once we started dating a month later, it only got worse… She threatened to slash his tires, hacked his Facebook AGAIN and messaged me from his account, and tried to turn their mutual friends against him. She would also send him “I miss you” texts on top of telling him that he’s an A-hole. Did I mention she called and texted his parents, trying to get them involved?
Anyway, she stopped after a couple of months. It pretty much emotionally wrecked my SO for those couple of months. She made him feel like a total A-hole. In some ways, I understand why she felt the way she did. I just feel that the way she acted was over-the-top.
Now my SO and I have a happy, wonderful, trust-filled relationship. We’ve been together for about nine months, but since we’ve been friends for so long it feels like it’s been much longer. We’ve been discussing marriage and being engaged; we know that we were meant to be.
Yesterday my SO told me that his ex texted him. I asked if she seemed okay, and he shrugged and said that it was just small talk. I hugged him and told him that maybe one day it could be better for both of them. We both heard a few months back that she was dating someone new, so we figured that maybe she was okay now.
Today I started to worry a little. She has just been so toxic to him, I don’t want to see him get hurt. I was with him many times when she would call, and hearing him plead with her to just leave him alone shattered me.
I trust him and I love him. I know that he is fully invested in this relationship and he tells me all the time how much happier he is now. I’m just upset that she is trying to worm her way back in, I guess. He’s finally stopped feeling like the bad guy for breaking it off with her, and she’s back again.
I’m not going to tell him not to talk to her, because I think that’s extremely unfair. But I can say without hesitation, if she tries to say or do anything negative to him, I am not going to simply stand by. It’s unbearable to think about him feeling miserable.
I know there’s a possibility that she’s really just trying to make amends with him, but I can’t be 100% sure.
Is it stupid of me to be worried?