- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hi Bees! I need some advice/words of encouragement.
A little background: My SO and I have been together for 3 years, we are 21 (almost 22) years old. Both still live at home. His parents (well really just his mother) are pretty controlling. He is 2 out of 5 (all boys) his older brother (24) and him have curfew’s, can’t drive past a certain time, can’t go into the city, can’t go to certain places etc (that is a whole different discussion lol!)….Moving out is not an option for either of us for at least another year.
SO and I recently finished our fall semester, he is 3 full time semesters away from graduating.
This was his first semester of working and going to school. He landed an awesome paid internship with a company that he loves. The company is AWESOME. they are very family oriented, are more than willing to work with his school schedule, they offer him days off for exams, give him paid holidays etc.
Because he has never worked during school and his core classes are getting harder he put in extra studying time whenever he could. Often got off work went to class then studied at the library for 5-6 hours before heading home, also spent most saturdays and sundays at the library studying. I know for a fact that he did this because I my self am in nursing school and would study “with” him. (he is studying mechanical engineering so we didn’t help each other, we just studied at the same place lol).
Well his grades were just posted and he didn’t do as well as he’d hoped. 2/3 classes he barely passed, the other he passed with flying colors. In my household grades were always a big deal, but if my parents/teacher could see the effort then we weren’t punished for not getting an A or B.
Part of him living at home is he must disclose his grades to his parents, even though they don’t pay tuition. He told his mom today and all she keeps doing is bashing him telling him what a disappointment he is, how horrible he is, he’ll never be anything, he’s an F-up etc.
It infuriates me because I saw with my own eyes how hard he studied, on his own/with the TA/with classmates. He has taken responsibility and understands that he needs to do better. In fact, before he told his parents he set in place different strategies for next semester. He has spoken to his professors, they have encouraged him to attend their office hours (which he will do) and he has asked my father to tutor him a few days a week. (my dad went through the same program with a lot of the same professors)
I keep encouraging him and repeating that he is NOT nothing, he will do better because he is willing to work even harder and change his ways of studying…I know his mom repeating these this is beating up on him. I don’t want him to get discouraged but I don’t know how to counter act her nagging. HELP!
Ps, if you made it this far, thanks! I know that was long! 🙂