SO's Mother booked him a flight for Christmas….

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6030 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You don’t do anything. Your SO needs to set some boundaries with his mother. Then he needs to enforce them.

Post # 4
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

Your SO needs to man up. 

Post # 5
Member
2839 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Horseradish:  +1

OP, did you remind him that he had promised to spend the holiday with you? What did he say? 

Post # 6
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

If I were your SO I would refuse to get on that plane to visit his mother! She obviously realized that it worked on him before, so she figured she could get away with him again. He needs to choose what is more impotant to him right now: pleasing his mom who is being an immature child, or making sure that the woman he loves isn’t alone on Christmas like he promised she wouldn’t be. I would just be upfront with him that you want/need him to be with you for Christmas, and that the way his mom is acting could cause major problems between you and him if this kind of behavior continues happening. Maybe his mom will be out a couple hundred-thousand dollars, but that’s her own fault for assuming that she could book his trip over Christmas. Next time tell your SO not to agree to her terms for when he can/cannot travel. 

Post # 7
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

What?! That is so disrespectful! Your SO needs to tell her, “Sorry, mom, but you can pay the flight change fee if you want me to visit. I told you January. Christmas is not in January.”

Post # 8
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh HELL no! I would not be okay with this and would be having a conversation with him telling him that this is 100% not okay.

Post # 10
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

He needs to tell her it’s either just me AROUND the holidays or me AND her FOR the holidays. Ugh!

Post # 12
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@QueenGee87:   He “promised” you would never be alone on a holiday?  And now you are going to be alone on Christmas?  

I’d have a MAJOR problem with him giving in to his mother’s manipulation instead of keeping a promise to you.  I think that does not bode well.  

Have you spoken to him about his promise to you?  

 

Post # 14
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@QueenGee87:  your SO needs to remove his mom’s power to pick any day/holiday she likes. This is going to keep happening if she keeps getting her way. If she really wants to pay for his plane tickets, he can book the flight himself for the dates that work for him and you, and mom can write him a check to pay him back. 

For this time since the ticket is already bought, I agree with PP that he should tell her that the deal was January, not Christmas, and she can pay the flight change fee or not see him at all. 

Post # 15
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@QueenGee87:  Ummmmm, maybe she is one of those people that tends to ignore her children’s SO’s and their needs because until you’re married or engaged, you’re not family.  Either way, it’s mean, punitive and manipulative of her to exclude you and control him, I’d call him on his promise to you and remind him that every men make their own decisions and little boys listen to Mommy.

Post # 16
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i would throw a fit. Call him out on his promise he made to you! 

Ohmygosh I’d probably be sending a snarky “holiday” card thanking her for being so thoughtful and including you. -_- what a awful woman. 

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