Post # 1
I love this! And i love soulmates. I can honestly say that I belive DH and I are soulmates. I knew when we met that we would be togetehr in some capacity at some point in our lives.
Do you belive in soul mates? do you think your SO is your soulmate?
Post # 3
That is a beautiful passage!
I don’t believe in soulmates. One of the downsides to being atheists is we don’t believe in souls or reincarnation or any of that stuff. It sucks some of the romance out of a relationship! I believe there are a few dozen (out of 8 billion+ people) in the world who are perfect for you and if you find any of them, it’ll feel like you have known them forever because you just work so well together.
Post # 4
@MrsFutureG: No to turn this in to an athiest conversation. But im genuinely curious, can you elaborate on why athiests dont belive in souls? and did you mean to use the word “downsides” (maybe parts of being an athiest, or things about.. idk) , only becuase, if you feel there are downsides to a belief system why do you follow it (super not trying to offend or question your beliefs!!)?
Post # 5
@Kandiss16: We may have to take this to PM if others start getting mean, but I’m more than happy to elaborate. Don’t worry about offending me. I encourage curiousity. A lot of other people might get up in arms though, but it’s pretty difficult to upset me.
Atheists are those who have pretty much come to the conclusion that there’s nothing else out there. It is us and the world, no higher power. That also means no ghosts, spirits, fairies, angels, souls or anything supernatural. There’s definitely a part of you that makes you YOU, but it’s scientific, not some external force that keeps getting reused and looking for its partner. So we don’t believe in soulmates as we don’t believe in the concept of reincarnation or souls.
When I say downsides…well I don’t feel many downsides (except no longer belonging to the community I grew up in). I say it is a downside, as finding your soulmate, time after time is romantic as hell. To believe that you found the person you are meant to be with and that you have done this a hundred times already and keep finding each other? My goodness, my knees go weak at the concept, it’s beautiful. For atheists, we don’t believe in anything after death, so the idea of finding the person you are supposed to be with and doing it time after time isn’t plausible with our world view.
For the record, atheism isn’t a belief system. To quote Ricky Gervais, saying ““Atheism is a belief system”, is like saying “not going skiing, is a hobby.” It’s the absence of belief, it isn’t something to be followed. It just is.
Do you have any more questions? I’m happy to have a civilized debate. 🙂
Post # 6
@MrsFutureG: Thank you so much for your answer! That is def a good way to look at it/explain it.
Maybe an athiest version of a “soulmate” more like a “lifemate”… (although i am religious, i do believe is science and know that there are many biological factors that influence our lives) is that forces of nature and biology brought together you and your perfect match out of all of the other people on this great big earth.. still pretty romantic 😉
Post # 7
@MrsFutureG: I don’t find it sucks any romance out whatsoever. FH and I are both quite vehement atheists, think “soulmates” are a silly concept, and we both find the idea of “choice mates” terribly romantic. There are tons of people out there that we COULD have been with, and it probably would have been fine… but we chose each other and with that choice, we MADE each other special.
We didn’t need some outside source, some deity or supernatural being telling us who to be with – we found each other on our own and made our own decision. We get to take credit for our relationship.
That’s why we’re having a self-uniting wedding with no officiant. It’s like the story of the little red hen – we planted the wheat, we harvested the wheat, we milled the wheat, we ground the wheat, we baked the wheat, so we’re the ones who are gonna eat the bread. Other people’s concepts of higher powers are welcome to stay out of it.
Douglas Adams once said, “Isnt it enough to see that a garden is beautiful, without having to believe there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
@Kandiss16: It’s hardly a matter of downsides… There are “downsides” to every stance on the supernatural, I’m sure. I love mythology, but from the rational/empirical perspective, you can’t just go saying something is real with no evidence. Sure, I guess I could choose to believe in god or souls, but if I were making up things to believe in, I could just as easily go with mermaids that shoot laser beams from their nostrils and it would make about as much sense.
I don’t believe in god for the same reason you don’t believe in laser-nosed mermaids.
Post # 8
@Kandiss16: Beautiful words! I do believe in soulmates – now that I met the other half of my soul and am now married to him. 🙂
Post # 9
Huh, I didn’t realize religion had anything to do with soulmates. I thought soulmate was more of a fate/destiny thing. Like there is only one person out there in the entire world for you and that’s the only person you are supposed to end up with.
Regardless, I do not believe in soulmates. I do not believe in fate or destiny and I think it’s terribly illogical to think that out of the billions of people on this planet, there is only one for you. But I’m also not very romantic, so there’s that.
Post # 10
I’m going to have to disagree with the lovely ladies above. I’m not a theist, and I don’t believe in “soulmates” per se. But I do think there are people out there that just MESH with you – I like to think of them as kindred spirits (Anne of Green Gables, anyone?). I don’t think there is ONE person, I think there are many of these people, but you do have a special connection with them. I also don’t think it only applies to romantic relationships. I consider my best friend/MOH my kindred spirit. We just get each other. We’re not even very similar people, we just have a very strong, weird bond that I can’t explain.
So in the poll I answered “yes, and we have many of them”.
Post # 11
I love learning about Atheism, it fascinates me. I tried so hard to be Atheist when I was younger. I wanted to not believe in God. (Don’t ask me why, I just let my mind go there).
I just can’t do it, it’s alien to me. But I never judge anyone else. I also refuse to be judged.
I do, however, believe in God, mermaids (laser noses, OMG, cool!), faeries, goblins, angels and pretty much everything supernatural. Reincarnation – yep, I do now believe in it. I have had too many spiritual and “supernatural” personal experiences to not believe. So, for me, to be true to MYSELF I have no choice but to believe.
However, I am so interested in learning about other’s beliefs because I think the fact we’re all different is so fabulous. I also am surprised whenever I hear about people who haven’t had the same experiences I have. I have had all this stuff happen to me since childhood – long before I ever even knew anything about it or what it actually was.
Post # 12
I don’t really believe in soul mates or that there is just one soul mate out there for you. I do believe fate brought DH and I together, though because the odds of how we met are just too crazy to deny that some other force other than coincidence was at work!
Post # 13
@Bebealways: Thank you for your perspective. And I completelty agree that choice mates are a very romantic idea 🙂
I understand that you are a “vehement atheist”, I would ask that as we debate, we try and keep this as respectful as possible. I feel that your mermaid reference kind of equated peoples religious beliefs as being silly or absurd and might come off as offensive. While you may wholeheartedly think that, it might not be necesarry to share it in that way. 🙂
Post # 14
@Kandiss16: I am so glad I found my husband because I completely believe that he is my soulmate, and I didn’t even believe in soulmates before him. Although, my definition of a soulmate is slightly different than some other PPs, I believe that it is someone you have gone through many lives with (I believe in reincarnation).
Post # 15
@Kandiss16: Yeah, but lifemate is only one time around. 🙂
@Bebealways: I don’t believe in it but I think the concept is super romantic. Obviously picking each other out of all the billions of people in the world is romantic too. To say “I choose YOU above everyone else is another level of squishy and amazing” But for me, even though I don’t believe in them, I think the concept of soulmates is SUPER romantic. Not we choose each other for list life, but in every iteration of ourselves that has ever been, we were meant for each other.
Also, remember, you and I are representing atheists here. Kandiss is curious and wants to know more. When you don’t know something, you sometimes ask dumb and offensive questions solely because you don’t realize they’re dumb and offensive. I don’t think she’s trying to offend our beliefs, she just wants to learn more. So let’s be nice until someone replies to us that we’re godless heathens that will burn. 🙂
@Sunfire: Interesting reply. I tried so hard NOT to be an atheist. I wanted to connect so badly and tried so many avenues. My faith slowly fizzled away and left what I am now behind. I am happy with who I am, but I ended up an atheist after a long road of trying to find something bigger.
Post # 16
@Bebealways: I like “choice mates”… that’s exactly how I feel about it. We chose each other.
That said… I don’t believe in soulmates. I find it rather difficult to believe that of the billions of people who have lived on this earth (past, present and future), we were destined to find each other. That would mean we had no choice in it. I like choice mate… that descibes it perfectly!