Post # 1
Ugh…. I have to just sound off for a minute. Feed back welcome!
My husband and I just got married about 9 months ago. I have an aunt who is coming to visit my family in the area in a few weeks. She and another aunt of mine insist on coming over to our house for dinner when she’s in town. What makes me the most upset is that they keep adamently insisting that they come to our home for dinner when they haven’t been invited. Its like the just announced that they will be crashing our place. I’ve tried to present different options & suggest that maybe we meet at a resturant to no avail. Furthermore, they would be bringing my grandmother who uses a walker to get around and has a very unsteady gait. She would not do well in my estimation getting inside our house.
Any thoughts or suggestions on how to say, “we are honored that you want to come see our house, but it just ain’t gonna work out!”
Post # 3
Is there a reason why you don’t want them in your home? I guess I would think it’s only natural that your family would want to see where you live, especially if your new home owners or something.
Post # 4
Is there any particular reason that you don’t want your aunt there for dinner, aside from your grandmother’s walking problems? How they invited themselves is rude, but I guess I don’t see the issue in having a meal with them at your house. You could point out that your grandmother may have issues accessing the house and getting around due to her walker and, again, suggest a more accessible restaurant.
Post # 5
I am also wondering why you don’t want them over. It is rude for someone to invite themselves over but since they’re family they probably just figured the invitation was already extended or that you’d want them to come over. If your grandmother has trouble walking and won’t be able to easily manage to get inside the house then that sounds like a perfectly good reason to go a restaurant instead.
Post # 6
Honestly, I wish my family even cared enough about me to want to crash my house. I don’t understand why this upsets you, unless you have a bad relationship with them. Have they done something in the past to offend you? I also don’t see how they’re being “rude” exactly – pushy, maybe – but they’re your family; it goes with the territory sometimes.
I think you should be a gracious hostess and welcome them for dinner in your home. And I also feel that you should realize how lucky you are to have family that cares enough about you to want to visit you and your Darling Husband. How many more years does your grandmother have left, anyway? I would give anything to have mine back. Good luck!
Post # 7
Unless your home is a construction zone I can’t see how it would be difficult to move around.If it is messy you have enugh time to really clean it between now and then. Or is there another reason?
Post # 8
@StormyRose: The problem is that I have a lot of steps with a steap hill leading up to my house, which may make it difficult for someone who has an unsteady gait with a walker to get into my house.
@UpstateCait: @Supermann816: @abbie017: Never said that I didn’t want them over, just said that I thought it was rude that they insisted on invited themselves over. I just want people to be most comfortable, and since access is an issue for my grandmother I wanted to suggest a resturant.
@Sunfire: Best wishes to you!
Post # 9
@RachelD: I would tell them the situation and let them chose for themselves. If they still wish to come them welcome them to your house. I wouldn;t push the issue too hard.
Post # 10
I agree with previous posters, it is rude that they invited themselves, but they are family. I would be excited to show off my home to my family and have a chance to catch up. If you are concerned with preparing a meal could you just order out? Or if you aunts are good cooks perhaps ask them to teach you one of their signature dishes – that way the responsibility of the whole meal isn’t on you. One other option is to take them to a restaurant that is accessible for your grandmother, and then have them over for coffee and dessert so they can see the house (that would limit the time they are at the house).
Post # 11
@RachelD: Sorry, the tone of your post made it sound like you didn’t want them over. I guess I misread it! (“we are honored that you want to come see our house, but it just ain’t gonna work out!” “insist on coming over,” and “adamantly insisting they come over” don’t come off too inviting to me…) I agree that it’s rude for them to just invite themselves over, but it is family after all. It seems like you suggested a restaurant and they shot it down. If you bring up the steep landing issue in relation to your grandmother and still shoot it down, then maybe you’ll have to host them for an evening. Just have someone strong walk behind her to make sure there are no accidents going up the landing.
Post # 12
Have you a picture of the steep hill and steps to show your aunts and grandmother in an email or something? Maybe that will make them realize it isn’t “going to work out”!
Post # 13
@abbie017: Ha! I do see how people would think that I don’t want them over. Maybe my feelings of being ticked (that they invited themselves over) and being nervous about having family over (will they like my house, will it be good enough for them?) came through in my post! Plus my writing isn’t always that great~ I think I was just more upset that they insisted on inviting themselves over.
Post # 14
I agree with sending them a picture of the hill– “if you think this will work with grandma, you’re welcome to come for dinner, but I really think she’d be better off going somewhere in town!”
That said, they will probably make it work. When family wants to see you, they find a way!
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
I agree with posters who said to send a picture (:
I find it rude when anyone invites themselves over, but I don’t think it’s a big deal that they did in this case. They’re family and probably assumed the invitation was there automatically.