Post # 1
I have picked my bridesmaids and one of them is my FI’s sister. I picked her to be in the party so we can get to spend more time together and get to know each other more. We are in a long distance relationship so I barely was able to spend quality time with his sister whenever I go there to visit, its always usually happened with the family meetings but never hanging out alone and such.
The thing is she just got married at a destination wedding and I had plans to go with FI and his family to her wedding ofcourse, however, I knew of some health issues that I needed to deal with and had a surgery coming up which I will do in few days. She got married Sat the 14th and even that I already ordered tickets to go, however, our plan was for me to move to FIs state this May and then travel with them and get back with them, however, I couldn’t move and that way things would’ve costed way more than we can afford and also I had to do things to get ready for surgery and such.
I happen to graduate the day after her wedding and it was a great day and I am kind of glad I didn not miss the graduation. However, she has been on face book many times just posting comments here and there about her wedding pics and until today she first time posted something on my wall asking how I am doing and thats it. While everyone else from her family even her mom (MIL) commented on my graduation except her. I thought she would at least do so but nothing.
To me it feels a bit strange to not get that from her and also she has not yet to ask about what I need for my wedding especially her ordering the bridesmaids dress and I onyl have about almst 3 months to go only for my wedding. I dont really want to ask her anything and I think maybe she needs more time to enjoy “her time” now but at the same time my wedding is coming soon and there is just so much to do and on top of that dealing with a surgery in two days and 6 weeks of physical thearapy after that and not to mention , planning a wedding in a different state where I wont be able to even do the tasting or choose the cake flavor and will be relying so much on FIs taste..
Any opinions? Is she upset coz I couldn’t go to her wedding? if so…I didnt have a choice really because of how plans changed and then money was a huge factor to go only for one day and then health issues came along.
Post # 3
I don’t think she’s upset. She’s probably basking in the glow of being a newlywed. I’m sure she’s still busy with everything, even after the wedding. Why don’t you try talking to her about how you feel to make sure everything is ok?
Post # 4
You said you don’t really know her well – why would she necessarily comment on your graduation photos? Also, if you need your bridesmaids to get dresses, you should tell them that.
She may be upset, but nothing you mentioned in your post leads up to that. I would just assume she is busy with her life (especially since you guys aren’t close) and tell the bridesmaids what they need to do.
Post # 5
I dont know her very well but i got comments from my FI’s cousins who I have not met yet in person but have heard about them alot and they are also invited to the wedding. I know her just as much as I know everyone else from his family and everyone did their job to comment on that. I guess I might be overreacting about this…?
Post # 6
I think she might be waiting for a comment too – if you haven’t told her congratulations and asked her about her wedding. Have you done that?
I know a lot of people did not congratulate me on graduating, it seems like some people are just jealous or don’t care about graduations honestly. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and try to make small talk with her, maybe about her wedding or what you need her to do for yours, etc.
Post # 7
Did you comment about her wedding?
Post # 8
I think she’s still unwinding after her wedding and just didn’t think about it when she was on Facebook. At least she asked you how you were feeling. I think you are overreacting but I can understand it…I feel like I overreact to perceived Facebook slights all the time…damn internet!
Post # 9
Maybe she is waiting for you to tel her what you need? I would just be upfront with her. That may be what she is waiting for.
Post # 10
I think she might be bitter and maybe she thinks you didnt make her a priority so she is going to do the same for you – not saying it is right , but that might be the case .. if it is .. rely on your other bridesmaids and your MOH – give her space , she is a newlywed and i am sure is still in her own world of newlywed-ness 🙂
Post # 11
I think it is normal for the bride to tell the bridesmaids what they need to do and when.. like send out an email saying you picked the dresses and here’s where to get it.. something like that. The bridesmaid doesn’t usually have to go chasing after the bride for that! So maybe she just thinks it isn’t time yet because you’ve said nothing.
Post # 12
It seems there’s some things going on in your life… however… she JUST got married!! how amazing a time she must have had. Did you fb her to ask for pics or comment on them or send some little note? Maybe you get what you give?
Post # 13
it could be that because she doesnt know you well, she is thinking the same way you are right now. just give her a phone call, tell her how nice her weddin was and how sad you were that you couldnt make it due to that upcoming surgery. then move on to your wedding asking her if she still want to be part, you knowing that she might be “busy” as a newly wed. problem solved!
Post # 14
Thanks all for the inputs.
Yes I have commented on her wedding pictures and been nice to her and did apologize for not being able to make it , but she didn’t say anything about that, I felt a bit ignored. I do understand that she just got married and thats why I am not trying to jump right in and ask her to do something.
I already sent her info about the dress and everything but she did not reply to it and that was a month or so before her wedding , so i can understand she was more than busy.
I will wait for this weekend to give her more time and I will contact her about it.