Post # 1
I signed FI and I up for our Pre-cana and right after paying the deposit, I noticed that they suggested doing a “special pre-cana” for couples that are older than 30, living together, or have other “special circumstances”
Hmm what the heck man.
I’m 29, FI is 33. We’re no virgins but have been rather conservtive in the number of partners we’ve had. (Ha, I am just putting that out here, would NOT explain it to the priest! haha) We don’t live together and are actually making extra eforts to not live together seeing as how I’m already paying rent on our new place (my idea) but am living at home with my parents for the next two months after my lease ended last week.
Have any of you been in the “special pre-cana” ??
How is it different?
FI and I keep keep joking that we’re in the “sinners” class, hahaha!
Then he told me “I’m sorry I’m such an old balls”
He makes me laugh
Post # 3
@HourThyme: LOL That’s pretty funny. I didn’t realize there were different classes. I would assume “Regular Pre-Cana” is aimed at younger people with less life experience and no sexual experience. So they might talk about living on your own, without your parents and wedding night nerves….. but the “Special” people wouldn’t need that stuff.
Post # 4
The divorce rate actually goes back up after 30 or 35. Maybe it’s to work with that, and to talk about how you need to hurry up and have lots of good, Catholic babies (but not before the wedding!)!
Post # 5
@HourThyme: Special ed for you! Ha ha. I’m sure they’ll just pile on a little extra guilt, bless you and send you on your way.
Post # 6
We did regular pre-cana and it was mainly our same age people, I doubt it’s because you’re not virgins but rather at a different place in your life.
I know in my class there was a 19 year old girl and absolutely NO OFFENSE to any 19 year olds getting married but her questions didn’t relate to me, for example she discussed her concerns about living away from mom and dad, an issue I didn’t have as I was living on my own, I think it would simply be geared a different way, not bad or anything! LOL.
Post # 7
They didn’t have separate classes in our pre-cana but I can se how that would be a good thing, actually. FI and I were worried that we would be with a bunch of young 20-something virgins and we’d feel like old sinning weirdos since we’re in our 30s and live together. Turns out like half the class was peple over 30, prior marriages, kids from multiple partners, etc. There were also 20-year-old virgins. Everyone got along and it went well. The sessions about sex were pretty inclusive, surprisingly. They weren’t like “don’t have sex yet!” They were more like “here are some reasons you might want to consider renewed chastity until the wedding” (for us older folks) and “here are some things you might want to talk about with your partner before you have sex, so you know what’ your’e doing” (for the younger folks). I would imagine the separate classes would just be geared more appropriately to each group. Our class did a good job covering both, but I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable in a class that took me where I was in life instead of assuming I’m young and pure or whatever.
Post # 8
Hahahaha! LOVE that!
At one of my old jobs my ID said “special user” and my friends used to tease me about it all the time that maybe they thought I was a patient and not a therapist (I work with people with disabilities, but come on, smoetimes you gotta laugh too!)
I totally see the point but also feel kinda I don’t know…. no one else I know had to do a “special” class, and we’re no more sinful than most! In fact, all my friends who are married lived together, and we are going through all this crap to avoid that before the wedding…
Ughh. the only reason I even brought it up to the people was that I didnt want to get there and be shooed away for being old.
Post # 9
We went to special pre-cana; at the time we were 29 & 30 and had been living together for 2+ years. There were about 30 other couples, and it appeared the vast majority of would be in what I consider our peer group. There were only two or three notably older couples. There were also at least two couples where the brides were noticably pregnant, so don’t worry about being tagged as non-virgin sinners.
I don’t think the content is any different (from what I’ve heard from other people that went to “regular” pre-cana), but I think they do it so during the group discussion parts other people are more likely to understand where you are coming from. I mean if you think about it, the relationship struggles between a 21/22 year old couple that are going to be moving in together for the first time are going to be pretty different from those of a “more experience” (as the pre-cana website put it) couple.
EDIT: I’m not calling pregnant brides non-virgin sinners. I’m just saying no one at this Catholic event even cared. Sorry; just didn’t want anyone to get offended.