- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Sorry this is long!
My BF and I just discussed our Christmas plans last night and it looks like we’ll be spending the holiday apart this year. We’re not married or engaged, so I kind of feel like I shouldn’t worry about it…last year we went our seperate ways for Christmas since we had only been dating for about 6 months. But this year, we live together and are discussing getting engaged *fingers crossed* in the very near future. We had initally planned to spend Thanksgiving with his family, which we did, and Christmas with my family. His family lives about 2 hours north of us in Alabama and my family lives about 1 1/2 hours west of us, so we were going to go to his parents the weekend before Christmas and then drive to my parents on Christmas Eve (Monday). I was really looking forward to spending the holidays together this year.
Unfortunately, all plans went out the window when his sister had her third baby the week before Thanksgiving. Although she wasn’t early, the baby was born with some serious complications and had to be flown a Children’s Hospital in Birmingham. We ended up spending Thanksgiving in the hospital instead of at his family’s house as planned. Although I really missed my first Thanksgiving away from my family – it’s the one time of year that we spend with my mom’s family…aunts, uncles and lots of cousins – I agreed to be with his family this year and definitely understood that we needed to go see his sister and niece at the hospital.
Sadly, the baby is still in critical condition and she will still be in the hospital at Christmas. So instead of spending Christmas in Dothan, his family will all be in Birmingham, which is 4 1/2 hours from our house and about 4 hours from my parents’ house. Last night, we discussed our holiday plans, and decided that he would go to Birmingham on the Sunday before Christmas (he has a work Christmas party on Saturday). I feel obligated to join him, but since we would be staying in a hotel, we can’t bring our two dogs with us which means I would need to take them to my parents house Sunday morning and then drive up to Birmingham after, which would mean 6+ hours on the road. I would basically arrive in time to see them for dinner and then breakfast the next morning before I needed to get back on the road to get down to my parents’ house for our Christmas Eve celebration. I told BF that I would play it by ear and see how things are going before making a decision on whether to go up to Birmingham. He seemed disappointed about that, but understood that it was a lot of driving.
I don’t mean to sound heartless, I know this is a very difficult time for his family, and I totally understand that he wants to be there with his loved ones. I care a lot about that little baby and have been praying for her every day! But, I also know what it was like up there at Thanksgiving…spending hours sitting around a hospital waiting room and seeing the baby once or twice for 15 minutes. I just don’t know if it’s worth driving up there for such a short visit. And I don’t really feel like I’m helping anyone by sitting in a waiting room.
Anyhow, BF said he would have to see how the baby is doing as we get closer to Christmas and if she is not as critical, he said he would come down to my family for Christmas dinner. I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t really care if he’s there for Christmas dinner. I kind of feel like it would be pointless for him to leave his family just go come to dinner at my parents’ house. My favorite part of the holiday is always my parents’ Christmas Eve party and then waking up Christmas morning and opening presents in our PJs before church. I feel like he’d be missing the best parts, so what’s the point? Especially since we would both be going back home the next day.
I guess I’m just disappointed and sad we won’t get to have our first Christmas together this year. I hope this doesn’t sound selfish. I know my disappointment is nothing compared to what his family is dealing with right now…