(Closed) Spending holidays with your SO?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We’re not engaged and are not spending Christmas together this year.  Next year we plan on going for a cruise for Christmas, but we’ll be engaged then.  My SO and I spent Easter together with my parents and his parents flipped. out.  We even stopped by on Easter day for a few hours, but that didn’t make things any better.  I was supposed to spend Thanksgiving with his parents, but plans change and I decided to visit my parents while he stayed with his.  We’re not really sure what we’re going to do in the future.  I think it’s likely we’ll spend holidays apart (minus next Christmas) until we’re married.  I’m not sure what we’re going to do then, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

It’s really up to you guys and what you want to do.  This is what works best for us right now.

ETA:  Last year when we were just under a year we spent Christmas apart, but he came and spent a couple days after the holiday with my folks and me.

Post # 4
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@PinkPanda:  I wish I was spending chrsitmas with my SO. We have been together as long as yall and are also close/serious. He is visitng his brother and I am soooooo bummed. If I could spend it with him I would.

If I were in your shoes, I would pick a family and alternate next year and so on until you have children or enough space for visitors. If your family is welcoming maybe they’d be a good place to start?

Post # 5
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Since this will be an issue forever if you marry you should start figuring it out now. I’ve seen couples do it one of three ways 1) Alternate years between families 2) Since VA and NJ are within driving distance, you could always do Xmas Eve dinner w/ one family then drive early morning to spend Xmas with the other 3) A different spin on alternating years, if one family is more into one holiday than the other, than you alternate holidays rather than years (aka Tgiving is his family, Xmas is yours, etc)

Post # 7
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, some of these responses make me sad. My FI’s family was more than welcoming before we were engaged, as my family was to him. :

Anyway, we split holidays. His dad’s side does Christmas the Saturday before, and my family does it the day of, and then we spend Christmas Eve with his dad, stepmom, and their kids. We spend Thanksgiving with FMIL’s family, except this year when we went to my family’s the day of and then headed up north for his dad’s side’s celebration (always the Saturday after) and stopped by his mom’s mom’s house to see her for a bit, too. This year, my family is doing Christmas the same day as his dad’s side, which really sucks, but I also don’t want to pack an overnight bag, drive three hours one way to stay one night, and end up putting $80 in gas in my car in two days.

Post # 8
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

last year he came to christmas with my family and this year we are doing christmas with his. i foresee that we will continue this pattern as long as he is not deployed, like he probably will be next year.

Post # 9
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Ps FI has come to our Xmas a couple times over the past 6 years, before we were engaged, as his family is only two people (mother and brother) and they live 2,000 miles away, so when he wasn’t able to get more than the day of off from work, he’s come to our Xmas. My mom has been inviting his mother and brother to join us for years, they are accepting for the first time this Xmas now that we are engaged.

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