Spending while he's saving- thoughts?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What does your soon to be FI think? If he’s ok with it, then go 🙂

Post # 4
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@witchbaby:  Is your money combined? If your FI is okay with it, then so are we 🙂

Personally I’d never go on vaca without my man, but each couple is different.

Post # 5
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@MrsPanda99:  +1, Panda said it best

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely go! DH bought my engagement ring while I was out of state visiting a friend for the weekend!

Post # 8
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would not put off going on vacation. He is the one saving for your ring.  Its not like he’s asking you to pitch in for it or anything.  Go and have fun.    

Why does he feel your wedding is going to be expensive?

Post # 10
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@witchbaby:  I always put my FI and our joint goals first. Even if your money isn’t together, you have the same goals (I assume) and you are going to get married. Maybe he’d rather the two of you jointly save for wedding expenses than take separate vacations (that is how I would feel). I wouldn’t want to risk him becoming resentful when he is making sacrifices for you and you are not returning the favour (if he perceives it that way).

It all depends on what would work in your relationship 🙂

Post # 11
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@witchbaby:  In that case it would be helpful if you two have a timeline of when/how much/how things are and how they’re going to be paid.  When is the engagement? When is the wedding?

I’m in the camp of going on your trip but making sure he is 100% on board with it.  You would hate for there to be residents on either end: his resentment because you’re spending money without him or your resident because you’re “stuck” not able to travel – probably the last trip before your engagement. 

Post # 12
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

I think if he knows you’ve had this plan with your friend for a long time and it means a lot and that the time is right for it before your lives change, then it’s fine.  Once the vacation is over ou can then focus your savings on the wedding.  SO has more savings than me due to working longer but once I’ve passed my driving test I will have more income (previously spent on lessons, ouch!) to put towards our future.

 

Post # 13
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@witchbaby:  he just said its my money to spend how I want, but he thinks our wedding is going to be expensive. 

i might be reading too much into it, but that sounds like a hint to me… “i can’t actually tell you what to do, but i think you should be saving for our wedding.”

Post # 14
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would go on the vacation!  It sounds like fun and it’ll be a nice girls trip before you get engaged.

I’m all for shared financial goals but those never crossed my mind when we were dating.  When we were just dating (before engagement), I would never have thought twice about spending my money while he was saving for things or taking a vacation without him.  Now that we are engaged, planning for the wedding and moving in together I do consider those things. I’m sure this opinion isn’t popular but I say just relax b/c you’ll have literally decades to have to consult him about everything…have a good vacation!

Post # 15
Member
3598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wouldn’t go.  If he had an opportunity to go on a trip with his friends right now, he’d probably turn it down because he’s saving for your ring.

Post # 16
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsPanda99:  +1 again 🙂

I agree.. but everyone is different. I don’t think having one last hurrah with your BFF is a bad idea.. but it’s not something I would do personally.

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