Spending your FI/SO/DH's money

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

he pays the bills (food, gas, his own bills and expenses), i’ve got financial aid that has paid the rent this past school year. that’s the deal right now. he’s never given me money to spend on whatever i want, and i would feel weird having it. it would feel like an allowance to me, know what i mean? i never had an allowance growing up, so i wouldn’t want one now. i feel like having a credit card he pays for would be the same thing. i’d feel weird about it.

that being said, if i see something i want when we’re out, he buys it for me. within reason, of course.


Post # 4
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My FI and I moved across the country together about 6 months ago. When we did that, we combined all of our banking. So, it’s no longer his and my money, but our money!  Because of that, I have no problem buying whatever I need, but if it’s a bigger purchase ($200+) we talk it through together first. 

Post # 5
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@beetrothed:  I only spend his money when I grocery shop, otherwise nope. We are setting up our joint account soon, once that happens there will be no more mine or his for money.  I would never expect him to buy me clothes or anything like that, I work for a reason and that’s to take care of myself,  as it is the groceries just worked out best for him to buy and I pay extra utilities instead. We split things equally unless one of us chooses to treat the other.

Post # 6
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think as soon as I realized that we’re getting married, our money is going to be combined anyway, we will need to work as a team.  Then the idea of who’s money is it goes away!

Post # 7
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

As soon as we got married we combined our money. We are both sensible and don’t make larger purchases without talking about it first. 

Post # 8
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@beetrothed:  We’ve been together over 8 years, married for 3 years, have an 11 month old and another on the way. We completely share finances. We do have some separate credit cards, but DH pays them and all of our bills every month out of our joint savings account. I do have DH’s credit card number memorized for emergencies…or online shopping when I don’t want to get up and find my purse 😉 When our second baby gets here, I’ll stay at home with him and our daughter so I guess technically all of the money will be DH’s. I haven’t figured out yet how I’m going to feel about it… it’ll be a transition! I don’t have ANY personal expenses (haircut 2x per year is about it lol), so hopefully I don’t feel guilty.

Post # 9
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@beetrothed:  The way we do it is that it’s all “our” money. We have a budget together even though we have separate accounts. It really doesn’t matter which credit card something goes onto since it really all comes out of the same pot, anyway.

Sometimes he’ll give me $20 cash or buy something for me from his portion of the budget, but that’s about as far as it goes when it comes to “his” money and “my” money. We each have designated fun spending $$$ each month to buy stuff like clothes, movie tickets, whatever.

Post # 10
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@beetrothed:  I don’t work, so I’m always spending my husbands money lol.  We moved in together after a few weeks of dating, so we’ve lived together almost the entire time we’ve been together (5 years).  Out of those years, I think it was really only the first year that we split bills.  After that, he just wanted to take care of me I guess.  We currently own a house, have no student loans, no car payments, etc, so we’re living pretty comfortably.  Plus, he loves not having to do house chores lol.

Post # 11
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Just recently did I start feeling comfortable with this situation – about 4 months after getting married. It was very, very awkward at first. Still, I won’t spend any of his money on extraneous things.

Post # 12
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My FI has not given me a card, but he transfers money here and there. We agreed that I could use it for gas/groceries at first, but he also told me a few months ago that I can use it to buy small things for my self (like running shoes, lunch at work, hair cut). I’m still hesitant to buy things occasionally but he trusts me to be responsible with money so I worry about it less now. 

Post # 13
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

While my DH makes nearly three times what I do his money is my money, so I feel free to spend “our” money when I want. We combined our funds after dating for about three years or so when we moved in together and I am in charge of finances so I am more aware of expenses anyway.

If it is a larger purchase I discuss it with him but most certainly do not ask for permission.

Post # 14
6953 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@beetrothed:  We’re just starting to deal with this. For now, we both have our own accounts and pay for our own things, but when it’s the end of his pay cycle and the beginning of mine, I’ll pick up the grocery bill or date night expenses. When he’s the one who’s flush, he pays. He’s given me cash when he knows I’m broke and I’ve handed him cash when he can’t make it to the atm. I think it more or less evens out (according to our incomes… he makes way more than I do!). 

Post # 15
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

FI and I view money as OUR money even though we dont have a joint checking account. It’s kind of like, if I have it and you need it, take it and vis versa. For purchased under 100 we typically don’t pay back – or if the purchase was for mutual benefit we don’t pay back. But he used my card to buy concert tickets for a group of people. $400 came out of my checking acct – I don’t care about him putting in the $ for his and my ticket – BUT when everyone else pays for their ticket, I will definitely be taking that $ and putting it into my checking acct.

Post # 16
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hubby and I combined our accounts when we moved in together the May before our wedding. What’s his is mine, and what’s mine is his. Large purchases we discuss before hand. We both get a amount of fun money each month which we can spend on anything we want. Everything else, rent food bills etc come our of the joint account. 

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