Spin off: Carrying the baby or being genetically related to him/her?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
  • poll: I'd rather
    carry a baby, even if we are not genetically related. : (38 votes)
    18 %
    Have a son with my genes, even if it was carried by someone else. : (125 votes)
    61 %
    Neither of those, I'd adopt. : (43 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Option 1 wouldnt work with my particular fertility issue: I have kidney damage and should have no trouble conceiving… It’s the very high miscarriage rate that may pose a problem. I said adopt 

    Post # 4
    2115 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I chose the first option, because I know that it’s really, really important for FI to share biological DNA with at least one of this children. I would love to have a biological child, but it’s not as important to me as it is to FI. Obviously, you can’t control infertility, but if one of us has to be, I’d hope it would be me.

    Post # 6
    6446 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would much rather carry a child then have a child with my genes– option 1.

    Post # 7
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would adopt. I likely can’t carry a pregnancy safely, and we have no interest in surrogacy

    Post # 8
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @AnaA:  Its funny…me and FI had a similar conversation about this a few weeks ago.  It was super random and I don’t even remember how it came up.  I’ve always wanted kids…since FOREVER..and i’m pretty sure i’ve had baby fever since I was old enough to see babies. But I always thought if something happened and I wouldn’t be able to *knock on wood* have kids, that I would like to adopt.  My parents talked about adopting when I was younger but couldn’t bc my uncle was living with us at that time. When I mentioned that to FI he told me no, that if we have kids he wants them to be biological…he wouldn’t want to adopt. I was actually really surprised at how strongly he seemed to feel about this subject.  I asked him that would happen if it came time to ttc and we couldn’t get pregnant?  He told me he would want to try all other options first or just not have kids.  Totally threw me for a loop, definitely not something I would have EVER thought he would feel so strongly about!  Had i read this thread before that conversation I may have voted otherwise…but i voted for optin 1.

    Post # 10
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    In reality if we had any fertility issues, we’d love to adopt.

    But if I had to choose between carrying a baby or having a surrogate, I’d much rather have a baby with my genes and not carry. I’m actually not that fussed about pregnancy and don’t feel a strong desire to experience it. But I would love to have a child with our genes.

    Post # 11
    8518 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Well me and my FI want to adopt, regardless of if we can have our own, so we’d probably go that route. But we also really want to see what our own biological kids will look like, so if money is truly no problem then we’d do both. Haha.

    Post # 13
    8518 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @AnaA:  Really? Thats sad. With all the kids needing homes you’d think they’d just be happy that people wanted to adopt. =/

    Post # 15
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @AnaA:  I’m 37 weeks pregnant right now so a surrogate is looking great to me! lol.

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