Spin-off: cheating

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you tell your sibling that their SO cheated on them?
    Absolutely, it's my brother/sister I couldn't keep that to my self. : (87 votes)
    81 %
    No, I wouldn't want to get involved and be in the middle. : (6 votes)
    6 %
    I don't know, thankfully I was never in that position. : (15 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 2
    2064 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    FoxyBride14:  heres where it gets interesting. if it was my sister. no i wouldnt say anything… shes nuts and honestly he prob needs a hall pass for one day. hes as sweet as pie and shes more like a bitter cherry… yeah anways

    my brother? yeah im taking that bitch down. not only am i telling her but its a ghetto cat fight. 

    Post # 3
    144 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    If it were a sibling, yes. Absolutely.  If it were a friend, it completely depends on the situation… if it was a recent happening then yes, I would most likely rat them out.  I would prefer the truth and honesty from a friend rather than living in ignorance.

    Post # 4
    74 posts
    Worker bee

    I was literally put in this position. Ok not with SIL or BIL but friends. 

    I invtied this couple out with me and some friends for drinks… He insisted she was studying and couldn’t go but he’d come out. 

    I also invited a recently single GF out with all of us  , to cheer her up. This GF was going to stay at my place after because she lived an hour away and we would be drinking. 

    So we go out and everyone meets up. Through the night I’m noticing this guy with a girlfriend and my single friend are spending more and more time together… Then we go to another club and I’m sitting with some of the guys and one points out those two and they were making out.. I mean full- on!! 

    So in the cab I’m sharing with this guy in the couple and my single friend.,. The cab stops and she’s like ‘I’m going with him’. I was like are you sure?? I did tell her in the beginning of the night he had a partner!  

    The next morning, I get a frantic call from his girlfriend!!! Asking me if something happened, because he called he up that morning pretty much being weird and trying to break up with her 🙁 

    I didn’t feel it was my place to go into detail because if he’s got the balls to cheat in such a public way – he should have the balls to break the news to his girlfriend! I wanted to tell her, I just felt it would be like shooting the messenger – So I told her something did happen but I dont feel right telling her what and to be fair, I didn’t know all the details.


    Moving on- he played both girls (sleeping with both & saying to each they were exclusive) for the best part of a year. 

    Now he’s married to his original girlfriend and he ruined both of my friendships wigh these girls! So it never ends well! 

    Post # 5
    7030 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If the person is close (like a sister or close friend), yes I would tell. But I would only tell what I know, (e.g. “Funny thing – I saw Steve out last Tuesday with a woman I didn’t recognise”) and let the person decide what to do with the information. I’ve never had to, but I’ve twice been close to that situation and thought about what I should do.

    Post # 6
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    FoxyBride14:  People often shoot the messenger and my usual policy is to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. However, family is different. If I had definitive proof that couldn’t be turned against me, then I would tell my sibling. If it was just a suspicion, I’d keep it to myself. 

    Post # 7
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    FoxyBride14:  i think it really depends on the relationship you have with your sibling.

    My sister is not married but if she was and her husband was cheating and i had proof, yes, i would tell her. There is nothing my sister doesnt know. And we have no problem telling eachother anything. 

    Post # 8
    587 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    FoxyBride14:  Only situation where I would tell would be if it were my sibling or other close family member, anyone else and I’m not getting involved. 

    Post # 9
    1208 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes. You do not f*ck with my family.

    Post # 11
    314 posts
    Helper bee

    I would try to get hard evidence first- pics, emails, texts, whatever- but even without it of course I would tell my sibling!

    Post # 12
    703 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I was kind of in this situation last year. I went on a family trip with my brother and his wife and my neice and nephew. The whole trip she was acting very weird. Not engaged and spending all her time on her phone. I’ve never seen her act that way. She was also cold, distant and easily annoyed. I felt something was up and asked my brother when we were back if he thought his wife would ever cheat on him. I also should mention she was going to the gym each morning at 4 am and would come back three hours later. I thought either she’s super dedicated to working out for hours or she’s seeing someone else. My brother felt she wasn’t doing anything but I told him again I wasn’t so sure. Turns out he investigated more and she was cheating. She eventually admitted it and moved out a few months ago. Had it been a friend I likely would have not said anything but when it comes to family, that’s a different story. 

    Post # 13
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Hell yes, if I was super sure. I would have to have good evidence, nothing cryptic. I don’t really like my BIL anyway, he’s a douchebag and he’s already cheated on my sister (they’re currently taking a breather). I’d give him the benefit of the doubt anyway before I jumped to conclusions as I am capable of putting my distaste in him aside, haha.

    Post # 14
    428 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014


    I love my siblings to death and want them to be happy, but there’s no way in hell I’d stand idly by and let someone treat them that way. I don’t care how in love they are, or how nice their SO treats them. You don’t do that to my brother or sister. I don’t tolerate liars, cheaters, or abusers.

    I do not believe in “what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” They would deserve to know the truth, no matter how hurtful it might be or how big of a shock it would come as.

    I’d probably find the a-hole and confront them myself. Can you tell I’m the eldest? 


    Post # 15
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would tell them, but knowing my sisters they wouldn’t believe me or they’d think I was “jealous” or something.

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