SPIN OFF: Do you feel like you 'settled' with your FI/SO?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you feel like you 'settled' with your FI/SO?
    Yes : (58 votes)
    20 %
    No : (233 votes)
    80 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @abc123joanna:  nope. In fact, my relationship with FI is a direct result of me deciding I deserved better than the loser jerks I’d been dating. I decided I was a good person who deserved to be cherished and challenged. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Quite the opposite of settling, I feel like I’m the luckiest person in the world to get to spend the rest of my life with FI. I don’t think I could bear being with anyone else. By some miracle he feels the same way about me. Not only is he the most amazing man, I feel like I am a better person because of him and his love. I can’t imagine marrying someone that I wasn’t madly in love with.
    I think a good question would be, why do people settle for anything less?

    Post # 6
    Member
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    No way! Some think I did, of course they have never met my FI.  Which upsets me some.  I knew right away he was the one.  I feel more that I don’t deserve some one as great as him.  He is such a caring, loving, devoted man.  Many had this “dream man” for me, not realize when they describe that man, they are describing my sweetheart!  I can’t believe he wanted to marry me! So Blessed!!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Another Bee who 100% wants to agree with what @MexiPino: wrote in Reply # 2

    I left my Abusive Ex-Husband… and got on with my life to make it better (altho it did take some time to find my footing again)

    Mr TTR is AWESOME…

    There was no settling in any way shape or form… we BOTH figure this is the absolute BEST Relationship of our Lives (I am over 50, and he is over 60)

    It Rocks when you get it right !!

    Younger Bees should truly never settle… WHY live with a lifetime of pain or hardship… Marriage can be hard at the best of times… everyone gets to enjoy the Good & the Bad / Ups & Downs

    Love… TRUE LOVE… on the other hand should ALWAYS BE EASY !!

    If it hurts a lot it ain’t the best choice for you (not a Healthy Relationship)

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Did I settle… in one word NO.  But I must admit that there are certain things that I did settle on, I’m a hopeless romantic and my FI is generally clueless about things like flowers and cards.  But (and it’s a big but), I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My FI more than makes up for it by being caring and patient and supportive and a million other things.  When I met him I asked myself if all those amazing things were worth throwing away because of one small thing, the answer then was yes and it still is everyday.

    I’d been with my share of guys who could romance the socks off of me but were real (insert string of swear words here).  It was when I stopped settling on only having false romance and love that I was able to meet my FI and find out when I really had been missing.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1904 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

    @renwoman:  Exactly, I’ve probably settled on a couple if things, one being that I wish he liked video games like I do, but overall NO!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    809 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    which thread do people say they’re settling? can someone point me in that direction? I just find it a bit odd… would think most people on this site are pretty happy in their relationships!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2903 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t think I “settled” at all. Could I have pursued something different, absolutely. If I had thought it was important, or if that was what attracted me to someone, I could have looked and waited for someone from a wealthier family, but I don’t count that as settling since I wasn’t interested in that. 

    I think I found the perfect person to balance my life and make me want to be the best version of myself. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    5207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I don’t think I settled. I was 17 and he was 22 when we started dating so it’s not like we were nearing a deadline and had to hurry up and get married. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m very curious about the people who responded that they settled…

    Post # 15
    Member
    1988 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I completely agree with lia too! 

    In my previous relationship, I settled for an abusive jerk because I didn’t believe I could get any better. We were even renovating a flat together. After a while it dawned on me that even staying single for the rest of my life was better than staying in a relationship with him and I left. Soon after, I met Mr. Meow and never looked back. So no, I’m definitely not settling – but I did have a very narrow escape! 

    Post # 16
    Member
    5432 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    Definitely not! I started dating him in highschool and he was totally different from any other guy I had ever met. Someone like him is very rare to find in our town. When we went to university in a bigger city, I still never found anyone as compatible or well-rounded as him (: I always feel super lucky that I found him!

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