Post # 1
Everyone has their own life, their own goals, and their own expenses. Obviously our weddings are not as important to anyone else as they are to us. Having said that, if you could not afford to buy a couple a wedding gift, would you still attend their wedding? If someone couldn’t afford to buy you and your FI a wedding gift, would you still want them to attend your wedding?
I’m curious how important gifts are to everyone.
Post # 3
If I invite someone to my wedding, it’s because I want them there. I want them to share in our special day. Not because of what gift they’ll bring or if they’ll “cover their plate”.
If your guests is happy for you, supporting you, and celebrating with you, what does it matter if they can bring a gift or not? Maybe someone can’t afford it, maybe they’re cheap, maybe they don’t know/follow etiquette. Regardless. A wedding is not a charity event where you have to buy your way in.
Post # 4
We didn’t expect gifts since most of our guests had to travel, so we didn’t register for much. I personally would make something for the couple if I couldn’t afford to purchase something, but I think a card is fine. I would rather have the person there with no gift rather than a gift in the mail without them in attendance.
Post # 5
Honestly DH and I are attending his sister’s wedding (7/6/13). It’s OOT and we can’t afford a gift for her. We can barely afford the gas to get there. She did not attend our wedding we just had (did not even bother to say she wasn’t going to make it) and I’m still a little sour about that but I am there to be supportive for DH. We are bringing a card.
I would want guests still to make it to my wedding and not bring a gift but at least a card I mean, come on! A wedding is a once in a lifetime event so if you miss it, then you just miss it.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I was invited to my friend’s wedding last September. We were in such a bad place financially that we couldn’t really afford to spend any money on a gift. I was so humiliated to show up without a gift. I felt so bad, like she would be upset with me. I don’t know – something. Months later I finally brought it up with her and apologized. She said so sweetly that she understood, and knew that we were in a hard place at the time, and didn’t expect anything from us. She said she was just so happy that we were there.
So yes, I did show up without a gift. Though I felt slimey! I just feel as though it is so expected of guests nowadays that showing up w/o ones gets me judged.
Post # 7
I would try to at least get them something small…even if that only means a “congratulations on getting married” card. Not that I feel like guests are expected to bring gifts, that’s just how I am.
However, if one of my guests wasn’t able to purchase a gift for us I would be fine with that. I understand that people have different financial situations. I’m inviting my guests because I want them there to celebrate this special day, not because they bring presents.
Post # 8
@MrsPanda99: i would still go, but i would at least bring a card.
Post # 9
Yes, although I would bring a card.
Post # 10
I am by no means rich. My fiance and I are both graduate students and make peanuts. However, I would never show up at a wedding without a gift. If our financial situation ever got really dire, I’d find a way to give at least $50 or $100, even if I had to put it on credit for a month. I can’t imagine showing up to a wedding without even a card — you can get one for 99 cents at Walmart!
Post # 11
of course. and I would have been SO upset if any of my guests didn’t come to my wedding because of that
Post # 13
Yes, but I’d still find a way to get something small.
Post # 14
@cmbr: And what if someone showed up to your wedding without a gift? Would you care? It sounds like you go out of your way to give gifts to others.
Post # 15
I think you need to bring something. My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding with no help from parents. Honestly, I would be a little upset if someone came to my wedding empty handed. I find it a bit rude. Can you make them something? Or find something small on their registery? If you attend a wedding and eat the food and drink the alcohol, then you should DEFINATELY bring a small gift. Weddings aren’t cheap!!
Post # 16
@MrsPanda99: I didn’t attend a bachelorette weekend once because I couldnt afford a gift for the lingerie party portion, much less a trip. The bride acted foolish about me not going and quit speaking to me entirely. I feel if I had shown up empty-handed but supportive, I would have been talked about anyways. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Now, if we couldn’t afford a gift we probably just wouldnt go because I don’t feel like being discussed.