Post # 1
I saw the previous thread and I was curious. Obviously you are welcome to simply vote and leave, but if you have had one I would encourage you to share your story. I think many times people tend to generalize about what KIND of woman will have this procedure when according to The Guttmacher Institute 1 in 3 American women will have one in her lifetime. That’s 1/6th of America’s population! Maybe if women share their stories we’ll see a more complete picture.
I would encourage those of us reading the thread to do so with an open mind and supportive spirit.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
No, but I will tell the story of a good friend who did. She was married, he had become abusive. Verbally at first, and then things got physical. He threw her through a wall, breaking her shoulder in the process. The neighbors heard everything and called the police. She was taken to the hospital while he was taken to jail. In the hospital she finds out that she is pregnant (have to do a pg test before x-rays can be done). She calls me up, hysterical, finally spilling the story of what had been going on. Mind you, I am on the other side of the country. I get her plane tickets back here, away from him. She arrives battered, bruised, in a sling, and pretty much a total mess. Her family and I convince her to get into therapy and to break away from her husband.
But she is still pregnant, and if she has the child she will be forever legally linked to her husband. The courts will give him joint legal custody because he beat the hell out of her, but not the child. He will forever have a link into her life to terrorize and manipulate her. And quite honestly, at that point in time she was a disaster who was in no way mentally able to deal with the stress of pregnancy and single parenthood. She decided to terminate, and I held her hand during the procedure and afterward. She went on to find love again, has 2 beautiful boys, and says that she doesn’t regret her decision. It was the right thing for her at the time, and I am greatful that my friend had the ability to choose her own path.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
I got pregnant with my first when I was 20 (I had him at 21). His father was really pushy about me having an abortion and I hate to admit that I made an appt to have one. 24 hours later I cancelled my appt because I just couldn’t live with myself if I did. I had cancer at 16 and was told by my doctors that I would probably never be able to have kids and I just kept thinking that what if this was my only chance to have a child I so desperately wanted and I blew it. I don’t regret my decision at all. And fortunately I am not infertile and went on to have 2 more children (a set of twins).
I do not think badly about anyone who has had an abortion. It is a personal choice, everyone has their reasons. My college rommate had 2 abortions and now is married and has 2 children from her husband. I love her just the same. I just personally could not have one.
Post # 5
I haven’t, and I hope it’s something I never have. If I were to get pregnant now though, I would have one.
Post # 6
Personally, I’ve never had one but I know that I would have when I was younger and I still would if I were raped. I was actually unplanned but I wouldn’t have blamed my mother if she’d had one.
Post # 7
Never had one – but I would if:
1. I was raped
That would probably be the only reason for it. I’m sure when I was younger things would have been a bit different but now that I’m getting old and I’m married if it happens it happens even though we’re not looking to have babies for another 2-3 years. I don’t judge people who have had them, I know a few people that have had them and it is what it is. It is their personal decision and I’m not going to sit there and judge them because I sure as heck wouldn’t want anyone to judge me!
Post # 8
I haven’t had one, but I wouldn’t hesitate to schedule one ASAP if I ever got pregnant. It’s absolutely the wrong thing for myself and my FI, and always will be. I respect the choices every woman has made, as long as that choice doesn’t include harshly judging others for choosing differently.
Post # 9
at this point in my life, i wouldn’t have one unless i was raped. i’m 33 and married now and can handle having a kid. when i was younger, had i gotten pregnant, i most likely would’ve had an abortion. i had a friend who had one and it was so traumatizing for her and me. i was in the room with her. i hate the judgement placed on people who get abortions. the ones who judge generally think it’s an easy decision for the woman who has one. it’s not an easy decision and it’s not an easy thing to go through. stop judging people just because it’s not a choice you would make. i also think that some women who judge it would think twice if they got pregnant by rape. it’s easy to say you wouldn’t get one under any circumstance until you’ve been place in that situation (i’m not saying all rape victims choose abortion though). and to just throw this out there- when religious people judge, it really pisses me off. god tells you in the bible that he is the only one who can judge us so who do you think you are judging others? you do not get to decide if someone is a bad person or if that person is going to hell. not ok.
Post # 10
well that made her life easier so i guess it’s ok.
Post # 11
@SoobySays: That stat seems very high! Do you know if it’s including miscarriages?
In Canada, there were about 65000 reported abortions in 2010. It’s approx. 1/2 what it was in 1997. Quebec didn’t report them, BC wasn’t complete and Ontario didn’t count those where it was done for people who lived in other provinces. I wonder what the lifetime percentage is here.
Post # 12
I haven’t, but at this stage in my life I’d have to if I were to get pregnant. I am high-risk and don’t believe my body could withstand the stress of a pregnancy. I’m working on losing weight right now to reduce the risk for when I TTC in the future, but right now I’d have to be on anticlotting medication and there’d be risk because of my weight.
I’m taking all the proper precautions – condoms every time, getting an IUD in 2 weeks, but accidents do happen and both my SO and I have discussed that right now, it just wouldn’t be something we could handle.
Post # 13
@AB Bride: I agree that that seems very high. I googled “abortion statistics” and found this site, which has a lot of interesting information: http://www.womenscenter.com/abortion_stats.html
Post # 14
@SoobySays: Did you see the view yesterday? Whoopi brought up reframing the discussion away from pro life/pro choice to anti-abortion/ pro-choice.
I thought it was good that she pointed out that many women who have abortions dont like the idea of it but dont have an alternative.
Post # 15
@NurseMandie: I do not think badly about anyone who has had an abortion. It is a personal choice, everyone has their reasons.
Post # 16
I’ve never had an abortion, thanks to easily available and effective contraception.
ETA: This was not a knock to people who’ve had an abortion. Just a plug for the need for not just easily available/accessible and effective, but affordable contraception.