SPIN OFF – Is Money the Determining Factor (should it make a difference)

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think anywhere you go to for enjoyment should have a child policy this applies to restuarants, clubs, theaters, concerts ect – If parents do not have common curtosey the establishment should regulate.

Places that are necessities like modes of transport (people’s precious first class included) should not have a ban on kids.

I think it happens to every parent that their kid starts screaming in public and I think people 30 years ago were mortified and quickly dragged their kid out of that situation, nowadays people def do have a more “entitled” attitude that their place in a theater or thier place in a restaurant is far more important then anyone eles which also means if their babies cry, so be it.  

There is an attitude that that’s what babies do. So everyone has to deal with it.  I couldn’t disagree more.

Post # 4
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

 @This Time Round:  The biggest milestone of which I recall we all looked forward to was being able to stay up later and later as a kid as I aged (9 PM, 10 PM, 11 PM, Midnight… and finally NO set bedtime when I got to High School… it was now my decision when I went to bed knowing that I had to get up the next day for school etc)

OMG that totally reminded me of this event I worked at one time.  It was a birthday party for a 1 year old.  It started at 10PM.  yes PM.

There were a lot of little kids there, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing.  Looked more appropriate for a 21 year old birhtday bas as alcohol was flowing and people were all dressed up as if it was NYE.  The baby was 1, I’m suprised it didn’t cry the whole time. 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@This Time Round:  I agree 100%. I used to work at one of the nicest country clubs in downtown atlanta- we’re talking super rich entrepreneurs, famous baseball/basketball players, and prestigious families. I HATED working in the family restaurant so bad for this very reason. These parents would bring in their kids, just walk in & let them pick the table (totally ignoring the hostess), let them pick what to eat, they didn’t like it so they allowed their kid to spread said food all over the table & floor/throw it at each other, then ordered something else, same routine. Many people would act like their kids weren’t even there with them and would ask for a separate table (great if your kids are old enough to self-regulate but a five and a four year old should not be sitting clear across the restaurant from their parents). I dropped trays monthly from kids running around the place playing tag & running into me- in a restaurant! My parents would have whooped my ass right then and there & it would be months before they ever let me back in a restaurant with them… 

There were one or two ‘good’ families that scolded the children, punished them, and apologized to me when the misbehaved- but the vast majority acted like they were at a daycare facility. The worst part is that since it was a country club I couldn’t say anything. I was told they pay a hefty price tag to do whatever they want despite disturbing everyone else who paid said hefty price tag in the restaurant. I was so happy to be moved to the Adults only restaurant a year later, but even then I had to turn away ppl who thought it would be okay to still bring in their baby… 

a little too much coddling going on for me nowadays. I much prefer the way my parents handled us growing up (though it took me a while to appreciate it fully) and plan to imitate that with my future children. 

Post # 6
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Atalanta:  I suppose some people do have that attitude. I don’t encouter them much, but your experience is your experience.

What I don’t appreciate is being tarred with the same brush because I have a kid. People like to make blanket statements… “oh, PARENTS TODAY…”

Yeah. We’re not all assholes.

Post # 7
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@This Time Round:  I don’t have anything helpful to add, just that I 100% agree with you. A lot of parents these days need wake up calls. 

Post # 8
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think parents should have common sense. The same way I do NOT want a baby in a movie theater with me, if I am paying to go to a nice, if not fancy restaraunt, I do not want a screaming baby two tables away from me.

There are simply places where a young child should not be permitted. Just last week, my SO and I went to a movie and there was a couple in the row behind us with a BABY. From what I could determine when I looked back, it was most likely six months or under. The theater was fairly crowded and there was nowhere else to move, so my SO and I were already on edge. Fifteen minutes into the movie, the baby starts crying. The mother shushes it, but does not leave. This continues over the course of the hour where the baby startled and cried during any shift in decible until finally someone asked if she would take the baby outside to calm it down. She gave some attitude, but left with the baby. I barely remember the movie, as I was more concerned with the constant fussing going on in my ear.

The bottom line is, most establishments should reserve the right to refuse service. Obviously, some will make the argument that they can start refusing any undesirable person service, but seriously, there are places a baby has no place being and if the parents refuse to use common sense, the manager should. 

I definitely agree that there has been a shift in culture in which parents are allowing their children to have more of a say, etc. I have no patience for other people’s children and I famously say that I HATE other people’s children and I will not be ashamed of it. No, I don’t think your child is cute, no I don’t think the way they are running around an establishment is adorable. If your children are not prepared to act like well-mannered adults, they have no place in an establishment that requires such skills. I am going to be an “old school” parent for sure. I am definitely annoyed by the attitude of most parents these days. They need a huge dose of common sense.

 

Post # 9
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think this whole subject would be such a big deal if parents would take responsibility for their children and ensure that they are behaving appropriately in appropriate situations. As adults, we are expected to behave a certain way in certain situations, and allowing your kid to be free of all social rules just because they are children is not ok.

Post # 10
Member
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

There are pros and cons to both.  Years ago, parents with children who had certain types of disabilites would have been very limited where they could take them.  It was isolating, and I think it’s great that they are more accepted as a whole family.

The idea that children should be seen and not heard wasn’t very productive in many cases.

Some parents give their kids too much freedom.  Kids shouldn’t be allowed to run around in restaurants.  If it’s a family restaurant, and you have a kid who’s prone to bolting and they get away, I think it’s understandable.  Depending on the child’s capabilities discipline may or may not be appropriate.  Letting kids run around and not stopping them isn’t appropriate, regardless of their capabilities.  If a child is likily to do something like that, going to an upscale restaurant isn’t ideal.

Post # 11
Member
7929 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

There is a way to have children out in nice places (behaving) that is not reflective of an overly child-centered culture. In most of continental Europe, children are out all the times in all sorts of places many Americans would consider inappropriate, such as tapas bars at 10pm or fine Italian restaurants in downtown Rome. There’s some really good examples of this in Bringing up Bebe about such inclusion of children in adult activities in France. The difference is that those children are acclamated early to such environments and their parents, though understanding of a baby or toddler being a baby or toddler, put clear limits in place and make their expectations well known. Culturally, there is less coddling, but that’s paired with more choices for the child within clearly set parameters.

Post # 12
Member
7929 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Also, something to keep in mind with infants, in most states, a breastfeeding infant is allowed ANYWHERE by law that mother is allowed sans infant.

Post # 13
Member
2740 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

The more something can be classified as a luxury/leisure activity, the less tolerant I’m going to be of crying babies/unruly children marring my experience.  Things like dining at restaurants to the tune of $300pp are at the top of that list.

I’m not as bothered by crying babies on planes, in grocery stores, etc. because everybody has to get from point A to B and everybody has to run errands, and it’s just not realistic to expect people to either leave the kids at home or skip it altogether.

Post # 14
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I don’t know where everyone else was growing up, but when I was young I was expected to attend ballet, and opera, and go to restaurants, and behave appropriately from a young age. It was part of my socialisation.

None of this means I was spoilt or mollycoddled. When I was small then my parents policed my behaviour with an iron fist. I was expected to behave appropriately at all times. I did not get a free pass.

Post # 15
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

IMO there are simply places, events, parties that are not appropriate for babies, toddlers, small children, heck even pre-teens.  I don’t think cost matters.  Sometimes things are adult-only.  And parents should understand that.  Hell, get a sitter, send them to grandmas, etc. and enjoy a night out just the 2 of you to reconnect.  

Post # 16
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Off-topic but I wonder what the record is for longest post on WB?

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